| Jan 4, 2006 @ 11:24 AM |
Boys and Girls
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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I recall watching a documentary where kindergarten children were placed in a room with hidden cameras to see how they related to each other. The room was bare, except that two chairs were placed at random. The children were brought in two at a time.
The results were very consistent:
Whenever two boys were placed in the room, they ended up sitting side by side facing the same direction and just hanging out.
Whenever two girls were placed in the room, they ended up facing each other, both talking nonstop.
Whenever a boy and girl were placed in the room, the boy looked straight ahead, while the girl faced the side of the boy and talked into his ear nonstop.
For some reason this stuck in my mind. I think it says something very basic about gender differences, although probably modified somewhat by puberty.
What do you think it means?
[Edited on 1/4/2006 11:28 AM]
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 11:38 AM |
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Mischief484
Posts: 679
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I think it's child abuse to make a five year old boy listen to the same incessant yak yak that his dad has to.
Feminine gregariousness isn't taught, IMHO. It comes from the womb.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 11:44 AM |
Boys and Girls
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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I agree with soulless.. 
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 11:48 AM |
Boys and Girls |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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it just shows the fair sex is more communiative ... simple
Yep.
Feminine gregariousness isn't taught, IMHO. It comes from the womb.
Yep. It's hard wired. Those who demand that men be more communicative or women be less communicative, are fighting human nature. It isn't going to happen.
But I think it shows more than that. Women are more relationship oriented, while men form alliances.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 11:58 AM |
Boys and Girls
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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Men can be just as communicative as women, they just tend to communicate differently.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 12:01 PM |
Boys and Girls |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Care to elaborate?
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 12:16 PM |
Boys and Girls
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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Sure, many men think that acts of service is communication, for example they tend to buy things to give to women as opposed to sitting down and talking with them.
One of the biggest complaints from women is that their husbands never talk with them. One of the biggest complaints from men is that they provide a house, car etc for their wife but it's never enough.
Providing an act of service can be seen by a men as effective communication whereas a woman may much rather just have a talk. It's not that men don't communicate, they just speak a different language and the women don't understand it. That goes the other way as well. Men tend to be more touch and feel than a lot of women. A woman can sit down and spend an hour with her man and think she just communicated on a great level. The man could be left sitting there thinking how come this didn't end up in the bedroom?
There are many forms of communication, not all of them are the best received by the opposite sex.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 12:19 PM |
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Mischief484
Posts: 679
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Summersquall, he could also be like the five-year old boy who, after the experiment was over said to himself: "Thank GOD she finally shut up!"
Seriously, though. Great post.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 12:28 PM |
Boys and Girls
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Is there anything else that can be inferred from the experiment?
If communication style is hard wired, does this mean some of us may have unreasonable expectations?
What else is hard wired?
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 12:37 PM |
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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If communication style is hard wired, does this mean some of us may have unreasonable expectations?
I don't think so. What is most important is identifying the communication style and taking steps to make sure that both men and women speak to each other in the language which they best understand.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 1:13 PM |
Boys and Girls
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exiled131
Posts: 1,808
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sounds like they boys need a nap time and the girls need to be shown the finer points of the booger collection.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 1:37 PM |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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If words were visible, they would probably be seen going in one ear and out the other.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 2:05 PM |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I didn't take part in that test. I grew up with four sisters and I learned to listen and communicate or else.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 2:55 PM |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Glad you brought that up, Spongecakes. One of my best friend's hubby has five sisters. He is such a cool guy. She and I can do girl gossip in front of him, and it doesn't bother him at all. He's even a good sport when we go out shopping.
Having several sisters can definitely make men more tolerant of our little quirks.
My poor brother is the baby, and he had to deal with three older sisters. I'm surprised he is sane, after listening to all of our BS for years and watching our dating blunders. At least he knows women pretty well. 
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 2:56 PM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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I was the only girl with a bunch of boys (brother and cousins). I don't recall talking a whole lot (they might say differently), but I sure learned to tolerate snakes and spiders and such.
Added after Danae's post:
Same here about the football vs. girl talk. I always thought it was a good thing I only had sons, I'm not sure how I'd have dealt with raising girls. Although sons and I were all home yesterday, and spent a good part of it cooking together.
[Edited on 1/4/2006 3:17 PM]
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 3:03 PM |
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danae74
Posts: 601
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See, I'm more like Heaven. Our family is very boy-heavy, and I can navigate an afternoon of football better than an hour of girl talk! In fact, when it starts, I try to politely sneak away....if that doesn't work, I rudely run for the hills
The study is probably accurate, though, in general.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 4:51 PM |
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zoomzoom511
Posts: 110
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I simply say...
"Viva la difference"...
and I don't even speak or want to speak french. english is already giving me headaches.
i'd prefer to use thought waves... but the results are so inconsistent, that I just can't rely on the mentalism... either.
But... Ladies. Ahh. I loves em'. Love to hug and kiss em. cain't deeeny.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 6:48 PM |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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"Viva la difference"...
I agree wholeheartedly. Way too much effort has been expended in an effort to make men more like women and vice versa. Let's stop fighting human nature, as well as individual nature. We are who (and what) we are, and that's as it should be. Toleration makes the world go 'round.
[Edited on 1/4/2006 6:59 PM]
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 6:53 PM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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I had 3 older brothers, no sisters. Then I had 2 boys of my own. I agree with Heaven and Danae.
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| Jan 4, 2006 @ 7:45 PM |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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Summer's right on target with his observations, methinks. There is a natural difference in communication styles between mena and women and that needs to at least be acknowledged, if not some effort made to "hear" what one another is trying to say and to "speak" the other's language.
My family is quite matriarchal, and my brother excuses his single status as not yet having met anyone who can live up to his sisters. 
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