| Nov 15, 2008 @ 10:55 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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Chadcat
Posts: 9
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When I was a younger, healthier and a slightly better looking man I look back now and I see all the chances I've blown with women who were potentially interested in me, and threw some very obvious clues of that my way. I was either just too shy or naive to act on the chances I had then. Now I'm in my 40's, I look back and think of how stupid I was. Those chances come rare now, mainly since most of the attractive women found their man and married him and now I'm not the slim, youthful guy I was 20 years ago.
However, I think that rare occurence has happened again. I recently been attending a Messianic congregation ( a new "church" so to speak). I've never believed in going to church to pick up women. I go to church to praise and worship Adonai. However, like minded men and women do fellowship in the process. I was in classes this morning and this woman I previously assumed was married kept shooting glances at me. I would smile and then she would. Once she ran her left hand through her hair and I noticed (bad habit of mine), NO RING!
Okay, she's attractive, about my age maybe even a bit older. My shyness still remains, so I'm still hesitant on how to approach her and introduce myself should the occassion present itself. I did stay around after class, since I am new to the congregation I introduced myself to some of the members. I checked on her a couple of times, but she was talking with one of her lady friends - I didn't want to interrupt.
Sorry this was so long but the basic question is: Is she showing interest or am I reading too much into this?
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| Nov 15, 2008 @ 11:06 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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Whether she is or not, it wouldn't hurt to introduce yourself to her if you get the chance. Once you start a conversation, you'd have a better sense of what's going on.
Good luck!
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| Nov 15, 2008 @ 11:06 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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newlife2006
Posts: 860
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I wonder what makes you think you need "signals" in order to meet people and make friends? As long as your intentions are honorable , I don't see any problem for you to come up to the lady and introduce yourself or ask someone who knows both of you to do the introduction. That's pretty conventional way of meeting people, don't you agree?
It's only those who are looking for "cheap lay" are not welcome to approach ladies in places other than "singles' bars".
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 1:54 AM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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"I look back now and I see all the chances I've blown with women who were potentially interested in me, and threw some very obvious clues of that my way. I was either just too shy or naive to act on the chances I had then. Now I'm in my 40's, I look back and think of how stupid I was."
Ha ha. Brother I am with you. Everything I know these days was learned the hard way, bit by bit. I was never anything but good to women, but learning to jump thru their hoops and play their goddam games was a long and twisting road indeed. It took me a long time to realize that I would live a much more stress-free life if I just said to hell with the ones who want to play the games. Interestingly enough, once I had that revelation, I became much more successful with women.
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 6:32 AM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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crouchingtiger
Posts: 425
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well, I can top you for being overtly shy and stupid.
After my navy days, I came back to my home state and had started a bible study at a Methodist Church only because the pastor actually believed the book he read from every sunday.
To keep this short, one Sunday after service a young lady who had played the piano introduced herself, and invited me to her parents for noon meal.
Ok, me, I'm stupid, but she had a young brother with the wackiest sense of humor so I joked with him all afternoon , yes I spoke with her because she was 'drop dead gorgous and still is.
At any rate we had a light snack for supper then I went home, i did thank her for a pleasant afternoon but never thought to ask her out on a date.
Why?
Because she was so beautiful and though she dressed conservatively she did have a wonderful figure though she tried to hide it best she could.
I just felt, "She is so beautiful and sexy and such a wonderful heart what can she see in me?"
I've thought about her a few times since. Was it meant that I not pay her more attention or was it just a sign I was not ready, or needed to have what some would call:
A true sense of self-worth, not pride.
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 2:39 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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It may have been just as well because if you were that intimidated by her looks you probably would have been too uptight with her on a date. Self assurance is a battle that you need to overcome one way or another. Some guys have it naturally, some gain it with time, some never have it.
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 2:55 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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Chadcat
Posts: 9
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Thanks NewLife,
The other answers were great but I was really wanting a woman's perspective on this. I will try to explain this more in depth from a man's, or at least this man's perspective.
In our culture the man is suppose to make the first overt move. We're the ones who are expected to introduce ourselves and in some cases play the chase games. Problem for me is, that while I am not near as shy as I was when I was younger I'm still clumsy with words and introductions. I also don't play the games very well. I take things very literal. If "she" shows no interest in me, I drop it and move on. This is one of the things I learned later on. A couple of girls in my youth were actually interested in me but were wanting me to work for her attention, which I falsely assumed was disinterest. That's getting away from the point though.
Sometimes though I understand a woman has to initiate and indicate her interest in a certain man. For this particular woman, while she is very attractive, I would not have given her a second glance if it were not for her ocassional glances my way. Just to give you an idea, she was in the row in front of me and a bit to my right. She was in my line of sight toward the Rabbi speaking to us, but she had to make an effort to look at me. You see at my age I tend to automatically assume all women who appear in my age group are married, because that is the case more often than not. This woman is very attractive but she obviously isn't 20-something and she may be even a bit older than I am. It wasn't until she ran her left hand through her hair that I noticed that there was no wedding band on her finger, actually there were no rings at all. I know this isn't always a sure sign but in my mind I started putting things together. I'm just hoping I'm not reading TOO MUCH into things.
Well to avoid any confusion, this is a Messianic Jewish congregation. That is why the meetings or Shabbat are on Friday evenings and Saturday morning. The Rabbi is Jewish who has come to know Yeshua as the Messiah. I'm Gentile who chooses to worship as the first Christians, who were Jewish, worshipped. This woman, from a question she asked during class I think maybe an ancestoral bloodline Jewess herself.
Anyway, this past Saturday, after the Shabbat class, she was talking to a lady friend of hers and I didn't have the opportunity to move in and say "Hi, I'm ____". I may be able to do so this coming weekend. Also I am one of the newest members of a fairly new congregation. I'm still trying to put names and faces together, so I don't know a common friend between us to aide with the introduction. I'm not looking for an easy lay either. Actually I came to these services to praise and honor G-D, not to "pick up chicks". She just happens to be there too. If it turns out we could start a friendship and a friendship that grows, that wil be great.
I tend to write fairly well (and too much!) but with verbal communication....well I'm terrible.
Well I'll shut up now. Thanks for your answer. I completely understand and agree with what you said I just wanted to explain my dilemma a bit more in detail.
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 3:18 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,061
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Since you are new there, just go p and introduce yourself as you would do with any member. Talk about how excited you are to have found this church and feel her out on why she is there, for starters.
I don't believe in the chasing game. If I am interested, I will let you know. If you (generic you) are interested, then you should let me know, because after I throw out "signals" or whatever and don't get a response, I'm going to move on because you (generic you) are showing there is no interest on your part...even if there is. 
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 3:52 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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well, have no fear about things with this woman that is checking you out, hey...if its meant to happen I'm sure Adonai will deliver... 
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 3:54 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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ceecee1952
Posts: 153
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being shy is a very difficult handicap....I know
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 4:27 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,679
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Like it was mentioned, don't worry about signals .... you're interested, and maybe she is .... don't wait for her to hang a neon sign on her forehead saying "Talk to me" .... don't worry about a long conversation right away, or saying anything to impress her, or whatever ..... just say "Hi", and go from there ....
Don't make it more complicated than it is, or needs to be ....
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 5:00 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,061
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Don't make it more complicated than it is, or needs to be ....
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 5:15 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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parrothead1234
Posts: 712
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Failure, or having a potential relationship not workout is the reward for having the courage to try.
While failure is not an enviable place to be, it's far better than wondering "what if?" (Your own experiences would seem to validate these thoughts.)
In the scenario you describe, it would seem you should be able to verify your suspicions without "going all in." A simple "Hello"/introduction would go along way.
Seems to me, in the situation describe, you should be able to verify hunch one way or the other, without creating embarassment in the future.
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 5:31 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,061
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Failure, or having a potential relationship not workout is the reward for having the courage to try.
While failure is not an enviable place to be, it's far better than wondering "what if?" (Your own experiences would seem to validate these thoughts.)
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 5:59 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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Sometimes the guys don't get the subtle hints from us....
Eye contact, the flicking the hair, batting lashes, the way we carry ourselves...If I cross my legs, and the top leg is in his direction...ya know
For me, the eye contact is what makes me wonder...is he interested? Eye contact and a "real" smile at me!
TO THE OP.....DON'T let this chance pass you by, that you regret it later in life....
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 6:02 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,679
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One other point to make .... if she tosses her panties at you and says "Hey Baby, wanna hit it?", that's probably considered a positive sign ....
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 6:04 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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Tosses clean black lacy panties at LB... 
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 6:07 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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parrothead1234
Posts: 712
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One other point to make .... if she tosses her panties at you and says "Hey Baby, wanna hit it?", that's probably considered a positive sign ....
LB raises a good point. However, excercise some caution-if she's good to go right there at the church, run - run like the wind.
If she's wild & crazy enough to go for it in the church, she's probably the type that will nail dead chickens to you door if your piss her off.
Tread softly 
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 6:08 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies.
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,679
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If she's wild & crazy enough to go for it in the church, she's probably the type that will nail dead chickens to you door if your piss her off.
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| Nov 16, 2008 @ 6:20 PM |
Reading "signals" from ladies. |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,061
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My collection
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