| Nov 18, 2008 @ 8:43 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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Moonwalk
Posts: 272
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The life is so complicated and i am feeling so empty.
I would like to ask if this message is a reasonable for inviting someone to open up.
I would like to hear your advice, what to modify in here.
Thank you!
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You came in my thoughts while I was there and for this I am writing you this.
I would love to hear what you expect from a relation, your concern, needs, fears and desires. I want to explore option for meeting those, to brainstorm how to satisfy and support them.
I cannot read the mind of other but if they would communicate in words to me I will know about what is there.
In my opinion you can know someone better not limiting to the activity of sitting across a table (from face-to-face), but also in the informal activity you are engaged (side-by-side) - this is why I said about the going at the museum.
I know all of us have prior experience and flaws but if we are aware of them and if we want to change something we can do it.
Everyone wants to be happy with in a relationship and if there is a problem you have to stop and to talk about it.
People in the entire world face such problems, it does not matter their native language, and there is a universal language of relationships between the man and woman.
If I would be in the situation of having a difficulties with the communication and I want the relation to work, I will ask for professional help (those people trained to help in such situation) because the communication in a relation is a special subject and I know this will help.
For each problem-making there is a problem-solving.
We are living in the era of overload and overwork and we have hard time to observe ourselves and to stop in perpetuate difficult behavior that brings dissatisfaction.
I am a flexible person and I always enjoy debating/discussing to come up with a solution to make the things work - to reach the outcome
It says is the world of eat-or be-eaten but I still think it is good to be flexible instead of being on rigid position.
The real world of stresses, strains, temptation and tempests people fear to meet their emotions.
With patience, persistence and the breakthrough you can pass the most difficult situation.
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| Nov 18, 2008 @ 10:15 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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Jalon
Posts: 1,611
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If I were a guy this would scare the crap out of me. You can't make anyone open up, it has to be their choice. Be a good listener when they do want to talk. Let your actions speak for themselves. Be consistant.
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| Nov 18, 2008 @ 10:28 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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How well do you know this person 
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| Nov 18, 2008 @ 10:33 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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Moonwalk
Posts: 272
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3 months
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| Nov 18, 2008 @ 10:46 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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signme
Posts: 12,578
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Moon I think maybe just let him know you are there IF he wants to talk. I agree with Jalon, you can't make someone open up if they don't want to.
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| Nov 18, 2008 @ 10:52 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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Moonwalk
Posts: 272
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I would like to mention that i am open to talk to him through the things he told to me and i do not knpw how to say it, i do not force
I want to send him as an invitation to talk together.
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| Nov 18, 2008 @ 10:55 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Just tell him you are a good listener if he ever wants to talk 
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| Nov 18, 2008 @ 11:07 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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Moonwalk
Posts: 272
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can I do mistake and send him such letter?
I will make it shorter
I feel somehow guilty because perhaps when we meet last time I was after 2 sleepless night because i had to finish some work and also i had a cold, and perhaps i did not pay enough attention to him.
you know when you are cold and tired you are a little nervous and have difficulties to focus on the conversation.
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| Nov 18, 2008 @ 11:16 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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That you should explain to him
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 3:49 AM |
How to make him to open up? |
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sthnhylander
Posts: 4,062
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speaking as a male.....a pretty heavy letter to be sending to someone after only three months.....if I got this....I would think...wooow.... hold on here.....you need to come down a bit ..the letter feels very rigid..  ....no reason asking about desires, likes and dislikes, but concerns, needs and fears...is a bit heavy...look at humanising the context....identify the positives of what you have experienced and build on that..... 
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 2:23 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,649
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content is everything...from a previous thread...
I was meeting this guy and we text each other and today he sent to me this email.
"I do feel that maybe, not everything I am looking for in a relationship is there at the moment.
(...............text...text.........)
I have enjoyed meeting you, and spending some time together, and getting to know you a little. It really has been a pleasure learning about all the things you've done.
All the best"
asking him "to explain" is not a bad thing....
.........would love to hear what you expect from a relation, your concern, needs, fears and desires. I want to explore option for meeting those, to brainstorm how to satisfy and support them.
I cannot read the mind of other but if they would communicate in words to me I will know about what is there.
In my opinion you can know someone better not limiting to the activity of sitting across a table (from face-to-face), but also in the informal activity you are engaged (side-by-side) - this is why I said about the going at the museum.
I know all of us have prior experience and flaws but if we are aware of them and if we want to change something we can do it.
Everyone wants to be happy with in a relationship and if there is a problem you have to stop and to talk about it..........
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 2:51 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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well, I don't see anything wrong about this letter at all, as a man it would not scare me to recieve it from a woman, in fact, after 3 months I would welcome such a letter because it would tell me the lady is serious about their relationship and wants to take it to a higher level, and Lord knows the whole process of meeting and getting to know someone thru here on the internet takes forever and a day the way it is already here...you are so right, moon, life is complicated and I am feeling so empty too, so if it doesn't work out with this guy, write to me and tell me what you look like, hey! 
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 3:19 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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Any typical guy is going to look at this and scratch his ass in a puzzled fashion and say, "Huh?" Men just do not get into all these complications. If you want him to be talkative, buy him a beer.
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 3:37 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,649
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 .............
..It's an Italian thing........
Many questions must be asked in order to identify deception. In the end, all anyone can ever do is "strive to make an informed decision based on the best evidence, and then act accordingly, even though the best evidence will never guarantee certainty."
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 4:23 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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well, if you really want him to open up, then first you need to get on your knees... 
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 7:43 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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Moonwalk
Posts: 272
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Gallows_Humor
..It's an Italian thing........
Many questions must be asked in order to identify deception. In the end, all anyone can ever do is "strive to make an informed decision based on the best evidence, and then act accordingly, even though the best evidence will never guarantee certainty."
this is what we want to do in science.
asking him "to explain" is not a bad thing....
how is my english there?
is it the right way to ask?
or.......
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 7:45 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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Fender
Posts: 8,494
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No offense but you should just let him go before you end up getting hurt...IF he really wanted to be with you he would let you know...Maybe not in words but other ways...
JMO
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 7:48 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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Moonwalk
Posts: 272
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i am already hurt of being alone
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| Nov 19, 2008 @ 8:12 PM |
How to make him to open up?
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Fender
Posts: 8,494
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Being alone hurts...I know that. I was alone for over 4 years. You will find someone when your not looking, trust me. That's the way it goes. If he even likes you a little bit and get's that letter most likely it might scare him away.
Just let him know you are there if he ever wants to talk and leave the rest up to him.
Hope it works out for you.
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| Nov 20, 2008 @ 10:30 PM |
How to make him to open up? |
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Moonwalk
Posts: 272
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I want to invite him to some have some wine from my country
what do you think about this idea?
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