| Jan 9 @ 1:25 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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willowy1
Posts: 9,208
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My friend has been dating a great guy (with a killer smile) for a few months now. They get along so well that it is scary. They have taken their relationship slow. (This man has the patience of a saint!)  as my friend can be difficult at times.
Her manfriend has a child and they both agreed that they would not introduce the child (cutest kid in the world) to my friend until they were sure that they both wanted long term.
This couple spent the Christmas holidays with his family. It was wonderful. My friend fit right in. Dun dun dunnn now for the bad part...his ex showed up unannounced with the cutest kid in the world. She saw her ex with another woman and abruptly left in a snit. Leaving the cutest kid in the world. Well so much for waiting to meet. 
Every since that day his ex has blown his cell up with texts. She doesn't want my friend around her son. She calls non-stop. She is threatening to take him back to court for more child support.She has even shown up and layed into my friend on more than one occasion..
My question is..what can my friend do to smooth this over? My friend has held her tongue (she even bit it once) so she wouldn't say anything that might escalate the situation.
Help!
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| Jan 9 @ 1:49 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,063
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Unfortunately, I don't think your friend can do to much at this point. It's up to the boyfriend to line out his ex and let her know that her behavior will not be tolerated even if he has to go to court.
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| Jan 9 @ 1:54 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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willowy1
Posts: 9,208
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my friend feels that way too. She just doesn't want to be in the middle.
Another thing that bothers her.. the boy said in front of his family "my Mommy says Daddy is loser because he drinks beer"  why would a parent talk like that to their child? Seems like abuse to me.
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| Jan 9 @ 1:59 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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well, the man is a saint, so expect a miracle to happen soon! 
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| Jan 9 @ 2:01 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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missliss78
Posts: 5,213
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Awwww, that is so sad willowy. I so hate it when one parent talks smack about the other to a child. Wonder how deserving she'd really think that made her.
At any rate, I think the same as Mom....there's really nothing your friend can do. Her friend is gonna have to make the choice to deal with his ex- or to continue to tolerate it. What a shame. Hope it all works out for the best for your friend though!
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| Jan 9 @ 2:02 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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This why some people shouldn't mate, ( no matter how cute the kid is ).
Sounds like the only real solution ( besides court ) is to wait until she has a bf.
Then you have a chance of reason, but even then, I doubt she will see it that way.
This might also be one of those times to walk away, and let time heal the wounds.
Because it sounds like words ain't gonna do it.
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| Jan 9 @ 2:05 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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Unfortunately, some learn too late that little minds and hearts are easily confused.
The mom is doing her child no good service in the long run. I'd almost guess that there's unresolved business between the former couple. And unfortunately, the child is getting caught in the middle.
I'm sure the laws vary from state to state, but unless your friend poses a threat to the child or is of bad character, can the mom really dictate who the dad's girlfriend is?
And lastly, if the man won't step up for his new girlfriend and the child, especially, if it were me, I'd step back. Let them work it out. If there's something there worth merit, it'll still be there when things aren't so heated.
jmo
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| Jan 9 @ 2:06 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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willowy1
Posts: 9,208
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well, the man is a saint, so expect a miracle to happen soon! I will ask him, if he can turn you into a human! keep checking that mirror!
blue they have been divorced for over a year. She left him for another man. That just recently went kaput.
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| Jan 9 @ 2:09 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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typical female reaction: she left him but now that he has another woman she gets jealous...can we spell c-o-n-t-r-o-l 
(whenever I look into a mirror I see a can of budweiser!) 
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| Jan 9 @ 2:17 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,923
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Willow: My question is..what can my friend do to smooth this over? My friend has held her tongue (she even bit it once) so she wouldn't say anything that might escalate the situation.
...He is the man, it is his ex and he needs to resolve the situation, period.
...And if the woman goes off on her... the best thing she can say is "You have way too much class to be acting like this" and see if she can argue with that one. And then follow up with "Did you think he would stay single forever? Maybe you should trust his choice, as after all, he chose you prior and we should be working together for the sake of the child, not against."
...If the Mother keeps talking bad about the Father, most courts frown on this attempt to alienate children from the other parent... and he could very well obtain custody if he wants it.
...This sounds a lot like a blog I read somewhere... the guy with a Crest smile.
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| Jan 9 @ 2:22 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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willowy1
Posts: 9,208
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SensualGemini you are a wise man. 
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| Jan 9 @ 2:24 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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sorry, SG, but I beg to differ about a court granting custody because a woman bad mouths the father...if it were truly that way then most dad's would have been granted full custody...me included 
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| Jan 9 @ 2:29 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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Let him show the lil bugger all the love he can, even if that means putting his life on hold.
Step up, do what's best for the kid, and hope as the child gets older he realizes what a jerk the mother is.
Although, I can show you time and time again, where the control never ends.
I have a very good friend who walked away from his daughter and grand kids because of the control issues of his ex wife.
Have another who was accused of abuse of their child, all so he would sign his rights away to avoid a trial. ( very long story )
Each are waiting, ( 15-20 years ) for the child to knock on their doors hoping to rekindle the time lost.....
Unfortunately this is one of those stories to share with your teenage children, where sex has consequences if a pregnancy is involved, and who you think you love at this minute, is not the person you have to deal with for the next 18 years.
I wish them all the best, ( well except the ex wife ) for her, I wish her karma runs over her dogma. 
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| Jan 9 @ 2:31 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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good post blueyes, you are a wise man, jhey! 
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| Jan 9 @ 2:33 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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willowy1
Posts: 9,208
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this is NOT a woman bashing thread. If you want to bash, kindly start your own...hey!
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| Jan 9 @ 2:37 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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oh geez louise, willowys, we're not bashing, jhey...and you described it all as the x-whiff who is making all the trouble...can't we guys ever not say anything without womens turning it around on us
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| Jan 9 @ 2:38 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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willowy1
Posts: 9,208
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guess not 
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| Jan 9 @ 2:39 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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He could print out all her nasty texts and present them to her .. saying there is a copy waiting for the judge...My nephew is just now going thru something like this.. his ex who is already remarried blew up his cell with nasty texts... luckily he got them all to present at court for the custody hearing for his daughter  Im sure shes sorry she texted all that to him now As for her abusing your friend.. your friend could do as Sen suggests .. no fighting.. no return abuse.. and do it in full sight of witnesses.. then ask her if she would like a number of a good counselor and hand her a card to one... she seriously needs help... and affidavits from anyone who heard her kid repeat the nastiness would help too... good luck
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| Jan 9 @ 2:40 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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Not bashing women in general, just the type mentioned here, that uses their kids as a pawn. 
Seems to me, when this road is taken, everyone involved loses.
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| Jan 9 @ 2:46 PM |
Friend has a baby Momma headache |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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Each are waiting, ( 15-20 years ) for the child to knock on their doors hoping to rekindle the time lost.....
Sad, because the child needs both parents for ALL of the years. 
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