| Jan 10 @ 9:02 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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capitalview
Posts: 758
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Warning : this thread is NOT about impotence, but rather about humans turning less of "relationship material" ( emotionally ) as time goes by. Your thoughts on the subject are welcome.
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| Jan 10 @ 9:05 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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I'll wait for Billy Mays to talk about the next product's bonding abilities 
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| Jan 10 @ 9:08 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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I think the want or need to bond is always there but sometimes when one has been alone for a long long time, the ability may have lessened.
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| Jan 10 @ 9:41 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,408
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I think the ability to bond may even grow stronger.
And opportunity may dwindle.
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| Jan 10 @ 9:52 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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I will never outlive my ability or the desire to bond.
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| Jan 10 @ 10:22 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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redhairNfreckles
Posts: 4,694
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When I first separated 11 years ago after being married to the same guy for 30+ years, and being with each other since we were 16, I thought I would never find love again. I dated a lot of men, some seriously, most not. I even fell in love again, but it wasn't in my future to have it amount to anything more than an affair. As time passed, I started to realize I don't need to have a man (or woman...ha ha) in my life, to make it complete. Now I no longer look for that special man, it just isnt that important to me anymore. I like being my own boss, no longer needing to depend on another financially, emotionally, or anything else with "ally" at the end of a word. I guess I've outlived my ability to bond.... 
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| Jan 10 @ 10:38 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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Contrary to most............. I believe it is easier to grow apart than it is learn to live without.
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| Jan 10 @ 10:41 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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I don't "need" a man to be complete for I am a complete person in my own right.
However, I want a man in my life. I want someone I can talk to about my day. I want someone to work side-by-side with me. And most of all, I want to feel strong arms around me when I am afraid, need comfort, or just because. And sometimes, a bed can be very cold and lonely.
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| Jan 10 @ 10:43 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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youbetcha
Posts: 14,834
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It's still an extremely big desire of mine at 52
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| Jan 10 @ 10:47 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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newlife2006
Posts: 860
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Some people, indeed, complain about getting more cynical with age. Which leads to "emotional impotence" - inability to fall in love , to trust, to share life /activities , to be open to life changes which having a person in one's life brings. But I suspect those have been this way to begin with. Because I have met people of truly youthful spirit despite their advanced age. Seems like some people just were born old , while some stay young forever. So , age is hardly an indicator of being "relationship material".
I believe that as long as a person has dreams and plans for future , he's young - while those who keep going on and on about their past , those are hopelessly old for relationships. ( example : Mention some place you'd like to visit to one person and his reaction would be :" I have never been there either , but I'd love to visit there someday . Or - " I have been there , it's lovely place , I'd love to show it to you". Still, mention the same to the other type of person and the answer would be " Yer, I have been stationed next to there x years ago." Or : "I don't know where exactly it is, but my nephew/grandson/butler/broker/gardener/neighbor and his wife spent their honeymoon there." I guess it's obvious which one sounds like more fun to be around , don't you agree?  )
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| Jan 10 @ 11:12 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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youbetcha
Posts: 14,834
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Wow, that was quite intuative newlife
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| Jan 10 @ 11:33 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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Brass_Wolf
Posts: 1,551
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I will never outlive my desire for Bond girls.
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| Jan 11 @ 12:04 AM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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youbetcha
Posts: 14,834
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Wowser even more intuative 
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| Jan 11 @ 3:38 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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finally a question worthy of consideration. may i disect? it is illogical to out live such unless one is hooked up to the money machines. but from the movie "kill bill" such bonding did occur! LOL by bonding one logically assumes male to male and female to female? oops! forgot chemistry class! LOL in chemistry, of course!. wait! if one is free and radical any creation will bond with you. LOL whew, my goodness, one can take this one and run is quite a few directions. we be jammin 
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| Jan 11 @ 7:00 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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luneib
Posts: 732
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I think as time goes by two people can grow apart if they don't choose to work on the relationship and alot of times when two people are married, they don't even realize when their relationship is getting a bit stagnant unless it is pointed out to them. Relationships take work, what I mean by that, you shouldn't take your partner for granted, you should be supportive of one another.
Perhaps as we age we feel we are more comfortable being independent of another, and perhaps that is why we feel we have lost the ability to bond with another. I think people go through different phases in their lives, rediscovering who they are so to speak. Life is a learning process, that is for sure. I don't really think we lose the ability to bond, but I do believe that some people are meant to live alone, they are more comfortable doing that, just having their friends. Also, living with someone they might feel a loss of freedom, but living alone they are free to do whatever they choose, whenever they choose.
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| Jan 11 @ 7:21 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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Kenn159
Posts: 4,402
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I will never outlive my ability or the desire to bond.
That is what I was thinking.
I never want to lose it.
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| Jan 11 @ 7:25 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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Absolutely, Kenn.
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| Jan 11 @ 11:41 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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Kenn159
Posts: 4,402
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I feel it's deeply woven into who I feel I am, communication is everything.
God willing Bandmom, we won't change to the point of loosing it.
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| Jan 12 @ 12:09 AM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities?
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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I don't plan to, only make it stronger.
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| Jan 12 @ 5:28 PM |
Is it possible to outlive one's bonding abilities? |
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redhairNfreckles
Posts: 4,694
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I don't really think we lose the ability to bond, but I do believe that some people are meant to live alone, they are more comfortable doing that, just having their friends. Also, living with someone they might feel a loss of freedom, but living alone they are free to do whatever they choose, whenever they choose.
luneib, you hit it on the mark! It's not that I don't have the ability to love and bond again, I just don't want to enter into a relationship where I'm "controlled" ever again. For over 30 years it was just that; had to answer for every dime I ever spent even when it was my own money; had to watch whatever he wanted to watch on tv (mostly sports), so that's when I took up reading; he never wanted to go anywhere, so we didn't...the list goes on. Many people would say to me, "Opposites must attract. You're so much fun and he isn't"...lol. I see him repeating the same mistakes with the new wife...in fact, we have a fairly cordial relationship with each other and she tells me stuff.....  . I just prefer to have the wall up and not have to deal with it all anymore. 
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