| Jan 15 @ 5:07 PM |
Honesty
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Ok, here I go again pointing out things I find incongrous. On many many profiles I see women say that they value honesty. That all they want is an honest man, blah blah blah. Ok here is the question. Do you want an honest man or do you want a man that agrees with you? The reason I ask is because a man could be "honest" and say that he is 400lbs or that he was a drug addict, or a woman beater and most would stay away from him like nuclear waste! Yet wasn't he honest? Now I went to extreme but how about the man that says he is struggling financially, doesn't like women larger than him, or who smokes or drinks? Those are honest things too! I would say that most that write they are looking for honesty, are actually looking for similar values and attitudes as themselves, not good ole honesty. What say you?
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| Jan 15 @ 5:19 PM |
Honesty |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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Well, this was beat up before...but I'll bite.
I think it's more about issues of the heart.
But, of course I would be turned off by a 400 pund guy that lied about his weight.....if you lie about that-what else would you lie about? 
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| Jan 15 @ 5:21 PM |
Honesty
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Forgive me for rehashing something. I have not paid attention to the forumns for quite a while. Of course if he lied about it you would avoid him, but how many would admire his honesty enough to overlook his weight is the question?
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| Jan 15 @ 5:21 PM |
Honesty |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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still haven't fixed the double post bug I see!
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| Jan 15 @ 5:29 PM |
Honesty
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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The whole point of the honesty issue is to know if you are a match. What is the point in lying, just to get close to someone. At some point the truth will come out. It is wasting both peoples time. To not be completely honest is just playing games because it's the internet.
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| Jan 15 @ 5:29 PM |
Honesty |
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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I lied to God once, while I was in jail 
(think He will forgive me?) 
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| Jan 15 @ 5:37 PM |
Honesty
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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I agree Angel, but that is not what the women say they are looking for. That would be called transparency. They say they want an honest man, but 9 times out of 10, when the man is "honest" they avoid him because of that honesty, thus making the problem of people not being honest, much worse.
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| Jan 15 @ 5:41 PM |
Honesty |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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when the man is "honest" they avoid him because of that honesty
I don't believe this is true. They prob avoid the man because what they told does not match what the woman is looking for. The reason for the upfront honesty is to save everyone a whole lot of time.
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| Jan 15 @ 5:42 PM |
Honesty
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Lol, then don't say you want honesty when if you find it, you use that honesty to disqualify the man. What you really wanted was similar values and attitudes. Is it not dishonest to say you want honesty and then when you find honesty, you disqualify them because of what the honesty revealed?
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| Jan 15 @ 5:45 PM |
Honesty |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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I went and looked on my profile. You're fibbing...I never once said I wanted an honest man! 
Seriously though, dosen't everyone want someone who is honest? I expect honesty in their profile and in conversations. Has nothing to do with anything but being straight forward from the get go. And, if I want to know more about someone, I just read their posts in the forums to get a better idea of character 
[Edited on 1/15/2009 5:48 PM]
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| Jan 15 @ 5:45 PM |
Honesty
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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Even if you are honest, some people read their insecurities and fears into what you say...... This from my profile........
I live off the beaten path in the boonies, and love living on the water. In the summer you can find me sitting on my pontoon boat, going for a swim, throwing a line in the water, or just sitting there with friends drinking a beer and soaking up the rays. On days I'm not on the boat, I'm sitting in a tube with a cooler full of beer, and big ol samich, floating down the river, laughing my ass off enjoying a sun filled day with friends. On weekend nights I'm either sitting around a big table playing cards, board games, or sitting around a bonfire, once again drinking a beer and laughing with friends.
Now, some will read this and say, " looks like he likes to have fun "
Others will read. " he's an alcoholic ".
So, just because you are honest, doesn't mean they will " get it ".
99% of the profiles say they drink " socially ". I'm sure that's honest, but what does that mean ?
I say, just let it all hang out, if they get it ... GREAT, but, there is no reason to tip toe around and hope they get it later...... JMO
I yam what I yam, ain't no use hiding it, their gonna figure it out sooner or later.
Some want ......... " just the facts "
Others need a " sugar coating."
Kinda like a big pill huh ???
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| Jan 15 @ 5:49 PM |
Honesty |
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sthnhylander
Posts: 4,062
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I think I'm honest.  ..no need bullsh*tting from my point of view..... 
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| Jan 15 @ 5:49 PM |
Honesty
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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I never said you personally did say that! LOL I just have seen a lot of the "wanted 1 honest man" profiles. You are too beautiful to do something dumb like that 
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| Jan 15 @ 5:50 PM |
Honesty |
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Winnie4010
Posts: 2,641
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I say, just let it all hang out
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| Jan 15 @ 5:52 PM |
Honesty
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Lol, then don't say you want honesty when if you find it, you use that honesty to disqualify the man
Yes you did
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| Jan 15 @ 5:52 PM |
Honesty |
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willowy1
Posts: 9,187
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and the woman is being honest about her preference.
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| Jan 15 @ 5:53 PM |
Honesty
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Hey!!!!
No fair using my words against me. I was not using the You in the personal way, but in general for any that might engage in that behavior.
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| Jan 15 @ 5:54 PM |
Honesty |
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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^^^^^^^^^^ This from the innocent one..........
You don't like the way i hang out ??
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| Jan 15 @ 5:54 PM |
Honesty
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Ohhhh, you didn't say that you used the "other" you 
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| Jan 15 @ 5:55 PM |
Honesty |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Willowy, Thanks for joining in. Another beautiful and intelligent woman on here!
Actually if she stated that her preference was honesty, and then she used that honesty to disqualify, she was not being honest. She wanted like values and attitudes, not honesty.
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