| Jan 16 @ 4:41 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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luneib
Posts: 732
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I was chatting with a guy online, just an online friend, I recently complimented him on his photo, he said it was hurtful, I was like huh?  He said basically because I have a bf is why it was hurtful. Since when does that have anything to do with me giving a compliment when I like a guy's photo?  If I feel someone is good looking, whether it be a male or a female, I will compliment them, I don't see any harm in this. Why do some people get defensive about this? Just because I can't date them they get insulted that I compliment them?  Just makes no sense to me.  For the most part the men and women I give compliments to on this site appreciate them. Hey, if your photo looks good, I think they deserve a compliment don't you?  I enjoy getting them myself, even if they are from men who are taken, in a relationship, it does not matter to me that they are in a relationship. Just the fact they thought to compliment me is so nice, I appreciate that so much. What do you think, am I way off base here, or are compliments still ok to give?
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| Jan 16 @ 4:52 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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Awww, give me a compliment sweetheart. I'll accept it.
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| Jan 16 @ 5:05 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,860
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Lune: I was chatting with a guy online, just an online friend, I recently complimented him on his photo, he said it was hurtful, I was like huh?
IMO...
...Purely platonic friendships between opposite, heterosexual genders are a bit more rare than folks realize, or accept. One party often seems to want more than the other.
...Obviously, your "friend" wants more than you have to offer and after their throwing in a little whining, a little manipulation, you now know the real deal. If they were actually your unbiased, unselfish friend, they would be happy for you and not concerned with what they cannot have from you.
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| Jan 16 @ 5:46 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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luneib
Posts: 732
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Here you go custis, I really like your photo. 
SensualGemini, thank you for putting clarification on that, I've been trying to figure out this guy, he seems defensive and bitter about women, I feel so sad for him. He says all women are alike, none are different from the other, they are all after a guys looks, I said that was not true but he won't listen to reason. I am one of those who looks at the inside of a person, I dated guys because of their personality and their kind and caring hearts, and the ones I fell for were not good looking but just really nice guys, so it's not all about looks as he thinks. That is so superficial. This guy thinks all women are superficial. With that kind of attitude, he will never find a lady. No one wants a guy with a chip on his shoulder.
Quoting you:
"If they were actually your unbiased, unselfish friend, they would be happy for you and not concerned with what they cannot have from you."
I think you hit it on the nailhead.
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| Jan 16 @ 5:51 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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eyesofastranger
Posts: 927
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SG is exactly right. You say he's an online friend but your a prospect to him. If you where 19 I could understand your confusion.
It's a very see through attempt at manipulation. Tell him he is physically not the type you could ever be involved with and see how fast your online friendship dissolves.
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| Jan 16 @ 6:08 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,860
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Lune: SensualGemini, thank you for putting clarification on that, I've been trying to figure out this guy, he seems defensive and bitter about women, I feel so sad for him.
....He knows you do.
=====
Lune: He says all women are alike, none are different from the other, they are all after a guys looks, I said that was not true but he won't listen to reason.
....And you are back to proving it and how would he expect you to do this? The refusal of reasoning is a sibling to manipulation.
....People can make all the excuses they want for their own insecurities; just as some men will say all women want money; which there is nothing wrong with wanting security, but the point is, whining is never an attractive attribute in a man.
....And just like some women belong to the hate men club, there are men that do not like women. Oh, they may want one, but they don't really like them.
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| Jan 16 @ 7:41 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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leprichaun_magic
Posts: 953
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~Most people want to wake up ..next to...someone who makes them smile:)
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| Jan 16 @ 11:26 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Low self esteem?
Not experienced many compliments?
Or, in OPs case, maybe he feels stronger than just friends, and was upset at getting his hopes up?
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| Jan 16 @ 11:36 AM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Sounds like your "friend" is an emotional vampire. Sucking sympathy and compassion right out of people. With friends like that, who needs an ex? 
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| Jan 16 @ 3:41 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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let me help ya a bit here. we are a capitalistic society. words seem to be the best way to make a dollar. there are a few bright folks out there that have learned that if someone eases up besides ya and tells ya how handsome or beautiful you are, the first thing we do is grab our butt on the right side or for the ladies hold on to their purse a lot tighter. my point is that there are a few of us that wuz burnt very early in life and it will take a bit of honesty for us to relax around you. so, if your compliment is real, it won't take long for you to complement me. we be jammin 
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| Jan 16 @ 3:57 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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"Here you go custis, I really like your photo."
Why thank you my dear. May your eyes forever have the glow of starlight.
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| Jan 16 @ 3:58 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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willowy1
Posts: 9,181
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Hellllooooo Handsome 
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| Jan 16 @ 4:04 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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sthnhylander
Posts: 4,062
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I rarely get them, but when I do, I let the person know that I appreciate what they have said......
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| Jan 16 @ 4:05 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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"Hellllooooo Handsome"
Hello to you, you pretty central Oregon desert flower. Speaking of desert flowers, do you ever ride out to Fort Rock in the spring and check out the desert primroses? They are beautiful and are the sweetest smelling flower I have ever experienced.
[Edited on 1/16/2009 4:05 PM]
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| Jan 16 @ 4:05 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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willowy1
Posts: 9,181
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what am I chopped liver?  I call that OZ Man handsome... often! 
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| Jan 16 @ 4:06 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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You don't look like chopped liver, and I bet you feel a whole lot better in my arms than chopped liver.
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| Jan 16 @ 4:09 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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willowy1
Posts: 9,181
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why thank you Custis. See I can accept compliments! 
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| Jan 16 @ 4:26 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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sthnhylander
Posts: 4,062
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what am I chopped liver? I call that OZ Man handsome... often!
whats ya problem??? 
I did say.....
but when I do, I let the person know that I appreciate what they have said......
I don't know........has me f**ked
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| Jan 16 @ 5:17 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments?
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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I think SG is right about this guy.
But, I have a hard time accepting compliments sometimes. I'm the kind of guy who has his hat in his hand, ( scrunching it up ) and kicking the ground doing an awww shucks kind of thing when I get one. 
I even have a hard time accepting gifts, especially for my Birthday, and Christmas.
I get down right embarrassed, and the only reason anyone would be insulted, is if it was a off handed compliment, or like it was pointed out, a manipulation, to get you to feel more than you do now.
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| Jan 16 @ 5:20 PM |
Why can't people accept compliments? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,311
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Blue....very nice main pic. In fact all of your pics are wonderful. You look handsome in each and every one of them!
Sorry, just trying to pay you a compliment
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