| Jan 25 @ 1:48 PM |
Redneck Romance
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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My kids are on a redneck rampage. So in an effort to show y'all that I am a family man I have posted this here redneck thread. Of course it has to do with romance to keep in line with Boss MD forum mod. So fire away and let's have fun since whether we live in the Mountains, the Bayou, a River Town, Farm Country, Backwoods, on the County Line, Urbania, Suburbia or even Trump Tower, there's a little bit of Redneck in all of us. No hard feelings, y'all.
You Know Your Church Is Redneck if...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
When they learn that Jesus fed 5000 people with two fish, folks ask whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as "branding".
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
"Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear?"
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| Jan 25 @ 1:55 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,413
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Jeff Foxworthy?
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| Jan 25 @ 1:56 PM |
Redneck Romance
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Nope, Gary Google!
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| Jan 25 @ 2:53 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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meanjolene
Posts: 480
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If you meet your love in an area of the neighborhood known as "Snake City" you might be one..... 
I may have done that, once or twice.
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| Jan 25 @ 3:10 PM |
Redneck Romance
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Angel178
Posts: 36,335
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 I don't understand any of them 
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| Jan 25 @ 3:16 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,063
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They let dogs in church??
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| Jan 25 @ 3:29 PM |
Redneck Romance
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Angel178
Posts: 36,335
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Mom...that is not nice. Afterall, he started this thread
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| Jan 25 @ 3:39 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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signme
Posts: 12,588
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I think you just have to be country to understand redneck humor!
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| Jan 25 @ 3:43 PM |
Redneck Romance
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Angel178
Posts: 36,335
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I'm not a little bit country....I'm a little rock n roll 
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| Jan 25 @ 3:45 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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signme
Posts: 12,588
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That's why you don't get it, Angel! 
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| Jan 25 @ 4:38 PM |
Redneck Romance
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Angel178
Posts: 36,335
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I have to go...someone coming over in a few to check out my couch in the basement
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| Jan 25 @ 4:39 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,063
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| Jan 25 @ 4:46 PM |
Redneck Romance
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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may i vollunteer to check out your couch in the basement?
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| Jan 25 @ 4:47 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,335
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No jerry....one prospect at a time
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| Jan 25 @ 4:49 PM |
Redneck Romance
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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When they learn that Jesus fed 5000 people with two fish, folks ask whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
One of the questions I need to remember to ask when I get to see Him.
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| Jan 25 @ 6:08 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,335
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Ok mom...tried out the couch....
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| Jan 25 @ 6:23 PM |
Redneck Romance
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Hmmmm That couch inspection didn't seem to take very long. I hope you got your money's worth!
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| Jan 25 @ 6:32 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,335
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It took about 50 min. it was the right amout of time....
Duk....shhhh 
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| Jan 25 @ 6:33 PM |
Redneck Romance
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Yeah quicky inspections can be nice I guess 
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| Jan 25 @ 6:34 PM |
Redneck Romance |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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oops too late 
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