| Feb 4 @ 12:11 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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I saw this article today. What do you think?
Is having a "work spouse" good for a relationship or bad?
Is talking about your "work spouse" with your partner good or bad?
Dating 101: Should You Worry About the Work Spouse?
By Relationship expert Karen Sherman, Ph.D., for www.hitchedmag.com
Photo: iStockphoto.com/H-Gall
Updated: Feb 2, 2009
My significant other has an "office spouse." I know it's nothing, but it really gets to me. He comes home and tells me about work things, and they all involve her. He knows I'm not too fond of it, but insists that I have nothing to worry about. Am I just being jealous or should I say enough is enough?
Many years ago, a noted relationship expert said there should be a sign in front of workplaces stating, "Caution: Men and Women Working Together." It was Shirley Glass' contention that a leading cause of infidelity was due to men and women spending so many hours together interacting at work.
However, timing is everything and recently there was some research published that offers a different perspective. Vault.com surveyed 575 employees and found that 23 percent said they did have a "work husband" or "work wife." These office spouses served to provide both mental and emotional support to each other. Additionally, office spouses tend to have inside jokes and bicker with one another like one would with his or her romantic partner.
Other studies have found that flirting in the workplace serves a positive purpose. People who flirt have a better feeling about themselves and they bring this energy to their work. It also makes them feel like they want to get up and go to work. And indirectly, with all this going well, these people will then be better partners back home.
My guess is that as you are reading this, you are not necessarily feeling relieved. Here are some general guidelines that were suggested in an article on CNN.com for your mate to consider to ensure the relationship with a work spouse is not crossing over a dangerous line:
1. Are you acting differently than you would if your romantic partner were present?
2. Are you usually flirtatious or is this a behavior that is developing only in response to the work spouse?
3. Do you find yourself thinking about the work spouse outside of work?
4. Are you making comparisons between the work spouse and your real mate?
You say your partner tells you what is going on at work and his stories include his "work wife." To me, that is the most important factor. He is not hiding anything from you.
Keep in mind that having an open, accepting relationship is one of the best ways to keep your relationship strong!
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| Feb 4 @ 12:27 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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I think different people have different views on friendship. So, it is on a individual basis.
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| Feb 4 @ 5:26 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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I wouldn't mind having a "work spouse" as long as I can be her pimp 
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| Feb 4 @ 6:05 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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My thoughts are the same as Diamondrain (or not) 
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| Feb 4 @ 9:40 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,605
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Depends on the people of course. I don't have one right now, but did for a few years after I moved out here...definitely a lot of electricity there, but he was, and still is, happily married. It certainly made work a lot more interesting, and I was sorry to see him go for a better job. He and I are still in touch...and in fact his wife and I've become good friends (maybe it's the similar taste in men?).
 
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| Feb 4 @ 9:58 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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custis
Posts: 1,890
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All I can say is that I believe more adulterous relationships are spawned in the work place than anywhere else.
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| Feb 4 @ 10:26 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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I agree that it depends on the people.
I had one years ago, but when co-workers spread gossip that we were sleeping together (and we weren't), my SO got extremely angry.
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| Feb 4 @ 11:30 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,952
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Absolutely not ok with me
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| Feb 4 @ 11:38 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,625
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^^ Me either LGQ.
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| Feb 4 @ 11:48 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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Carol386
Posts: 3,705
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I guess it really depends on the people. I had one several years ago (strickly work - no affair) and my ex-hubby was OK with it. I didn't come home and say "George did this and we did that" all night long - - we sorta gave each other our highlights of our day and then work talk was done (after a bad day, who wants to re-live it over & over?). Since my ex-hubby worked with all men, I'm glad he didn't have a "work spouse"! !
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| Feb 4 @ 11:56 AM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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Seeing that many of the men I work with are in a (gay) relationship, the thought repulses me.
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| Feb 4 @ 12:00 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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Carol386
Posts: 3,705
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Yeah ^ ^ ^ - I am doing some e-commerce work right now - in an office full of women  - - keeps my mind on answering my emails! ! !
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| Feb 4 @ 12:00 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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Some people think friendship is sending a Christmas card every year, others think it is calling 2-3 times a day, and sharing every thought they have.
I can say things to women friends I would never in a million years say to a man, and visa versa.
Most personal conversations I have with a guy, are a waste of breath. Either they are shallow, or just don't care enough to care. It just is what it is.
And, to turn that around, I can't have a very serious discussion with most women on sports, or work, or car repairs ( they listen, but most do not have enough personal experience to share ).
( and I don't mean that in a bad way, I'm just sayin )
You just have to match the person with the subject.
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| Feb 4 @ 12:04 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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Some people feel it is inappropriate to share personal relationship stuff with others, and for the most part it is....
But, I have had woman friends look me in the eye, and tell me I screwed up, and why, from a woman's point of view.
So, I still stand by my point, it depends on the people, and their motives.
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| Feb 4 @ 12:06 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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I never came home from work and talkedtalkedtalked about him...he WAS more a protector and great friend.
More than some men are.
And we ALL did things together and got along.
It was the rumor crap that chilled it.
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| Feb 4 @ 1:47 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,649
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imho...."a work spouse.." is not defining "a workplace friend"
and as such ..
a work spouse
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| Feb 4 @ 2:29 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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These office spouses served to provide both mental and emotional support to each other. Additionally, office spouses tend to have inside jokes and bicker with one another like one would with his or her romantic partner.
That is the description I went off of.... 
It's a stupid idea to call a good friend anything but a friend
[Edited on 2/4/2009 3:28 PM]
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| Feb 4 @ 2:55 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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I've never worked in an office
I have been teamed with a female helpers/coworkers. Mostly in the field.
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| Feb 4 @ 3:12 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?"
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,097
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Keep in mind that having an open, accepting relationship is one of the best ways to keep your relationship strong!
And if you have that...you won't need to flirt or have a "work spouse" to keep your relationship or/and your work environment exciting...it's ok to have fun on the job..joke around, etc..but if you have to flirt with the opposite sex at work to keep your relationship at home going..I find that pretty sad.
It does really depend on the people and their motives... but for me...it won't work. I find my excitement in my relationship at home..it carries over into my work relationship 
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| Feb 4 @ 3:32 PM |
Is It OK To Have A "Work Spouse?" |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,952
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And if you have that...you won't need to flirt or have a "work spouse" to keep your relationship or/and your work environment exciting...it's ok to have fun on the job..joke around, etc..but if you have to flirt with the opposite sex at work to keep your relationship at home going..I find that pretty sad.
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