| Feb 6 @ 10:16 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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shabil
Posts: 4
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have no idea how to say it but in general gonna write it. i am also thinking to see a specialist if there is a need. i have been in a LDR for 3+ years. i know its hard no doubt but we both respect our needs and the reason to why we need to be apart. she may come to me after her studies, not sure . we are in it for a long haul(if there is at this point). we are both Emotional and sensitive. so it hurts when something like this happen. i dont want this to happen anymore i do anything. just got lost here for solution. things were working so fine she was trusting me and caring me( and start loving me from far distance and same for me as well). then we decided to get more serious last 1.5 . we live in a different Countries and she went there for school. last year after i completed school (after 3yrs of not seeing each other) i decided to join her for a holiday 90 days and we were both excited. she cares for me and we both love each other and we are taking our time to decide for our future( no expcetation from any part). Recently i have been doing some stuff (more than once) that got her upset and she does not surprises like that ( i help a friend Female with her divorce and she end up having feeling for me even she knew i am not into her and working on my current GF ( wrote me SMS ) but my GF did not(about the feeling part only) ( i told her a bit later when i meet her in person when she read a SMS she got so upset and shocked and said why i let her become so close to me and did not control it and did she know about me. ( she even talk to her on my back) so we talked and things got a bit better but the main thig is that she does not Trust me anymore and she keep telling me i dont care about what u do ur keep lie to me i know it . i was just helping my friend thats all. but now i am back and really dont know what to do . i really love her and want the best and i know she loves me too but with the current situation and long distance what is the best solution . how can i gain my trust back. i know it takes time but i need to tell her sometihng so she wont leave me.( i gave her space so she could think and dunno do the girl stuff thing) ( FYI its my first)
i promised her that i wont deal with my firend anymore and be honest with her and tell her everything even it may hurt( even i told her my reason but she think its all excuses). i think because of the trust issue she does not believe me and think i am doing something on her back even though she know i never do. not sure what i should do ( i apologize but its not enough i know i need some action plan. please response if anyone need more info i will tell u .
how much time i should give her to think about it one week few days??. i will call her to explain and email her my decision and apology) its sucks cause valentine is on the corner.
we are in both mid 20s
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| Feb 6 @ 10:19 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Dude, and I honestly do not mean to be harsh here but after reading your post and all the emotion and whining and uncertainty in it. You need to get ahold of your masculine side and quit acting like a woman in this. Sorry! 
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| Feb 6 @ 10:19 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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Oh, for crying out loud...DO THE MATH 
Does that makes sense? No? Neither did your post.
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| Feb 6 @ 10:29 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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IMO LDRs seldom work out. Good luck.
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| Feb 6 @ 10:31 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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Sorry, I had a hard time just reading it much less nderstanding what he was trying to say.
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| Feb 6 @ 10:34 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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Wanted to take a shot at helping but got a splitting headache about 1/4 way through.
Gotta use some paragraph breaks brother!
Can't help much without reading it, but I can say that it sounds like it was going in the direction of being yet one more example of how LDRs usually end badly.
Added this later after reading the other comments... I don't want to be mean either friend ... sounds like you are hurting a lot. Hang in there and things will work out for the best one way or another.
One more suggestion ... if you are really hurting badly, try talking to a friend or family member in person about this. Online forums are useful for some things, but very impersonal and not good when you need real help from a friend.
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| Feb 6 @ 11:04 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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I need glasses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  or an interpeter??????????????? 
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| Feb 6 @ 11:34 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,652
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have no idea how to say it but in general gonna write it. i am also thinking to see a specialist if there is a need.
i have been in a LDR for 3+ years. i know its hard no doubt but we both respect our needs and the reason to why we need to be apart. she may come to me after her studies, not sure . we are in it for a long haul(if there is at this point).
.we are both Emotional and sensitive. so it hurts when something like this happen. i dont want this to happen anymore i do anything. just got lost here for solution. things were working so fine she was trusting me and caring me( and start loving me from far distance and same for me as well). then we decided to get more serious
last 1.5 . we live in a different Countries and she went there for school. last year after i completed school (after 3yrs of not seeing each other) i decided to join her for a holiday 90 days and we were both excited. she cares for me and we both love each other and we are taking our time to decide for our future( no expcetation from any part).
Recently i have been doing some stuff (more than once) that got her upset and she does not surprises like that ( i help a friend Female with her divorce and she end up having feeling for me even she knew i am not into her and working on my current GF ( wrote me SMS ) but my GF did not(about the feeling part only) ( i told her a bit later when i meet her in person when she read a SMS she got so upset and shocked and said why i let her become so close to me and did not control it and did she know about me. ( she even talk to her on my back)
so we talked and things got a bit better but the main thig is that she does not Trust me anymore and she keep telling me i dont care about what u do ur keep lie to me .i know it
i was just helping my friend thats all. but now i am back and really dont know what to do . i really love her and want the best and i know she loves me too but with the current situation and long distance what is the best solution . how can i gain my trust back. i know it takes time but i need to tell her sometihng so she wont leave me.( i gave her space so she could think and dunno do the girl stuff thing) ( FYI its my first)
i promised her that i wont deal with my firend anymore and be honest with her and tell her everything even it may hurt( even i told her my reason but she think its all excuses). i think because of the trust issue she does not believe me and think i am doing something on her back even though she know i never do.
not sure what i should do ( i apologize but its not enough i know i need some action plan. please response if anyone need more info i will tell u .
how much time i should give her to think about it one week few days??. i will call her to explain and email her my decision and apology) its sucks cause valentine is on the corner.
we are in both mid 20s
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| Feb 6 @ 11:36 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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jeez, Gallows- I didn't want to read it AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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| Feb 6 @ 11:41 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,652
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it was easier than paraphrasing it...
and now that I understand what the problem is...I refuse to get involved... 
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| Feb 6 @ 11:42 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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just being on this thread, you have become involved 
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| Feb 6 @ 11:47 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,652
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now that is just warped... 
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| Feb 6 @ 11:49 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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| Feb 7 @ 4:38 AM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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shabil
Posts: 4
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hello dear reader s
please let me know what you did not understand i will responed. thank you
and for emotions what i can say its a old saying woman change man life specially those who love u
i will check again shortly for response
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| Feb 7 @ 8:51 AM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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havUheard
Posts: 34
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Ok dude, listen up: You're 27 yrs old, a member of a singles/dating site, you're listed as single, seeking women 18-28, interested in friendship, casual dating, long-term relationship & online chat, & willing to relocate.
But you're in love with a girl you've known for several years & want to know how to make it work??
Try NOT being on a 'hook-up' site . . . that'd scare any girl off! 
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| Feb 7 @ 9:21 AM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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1. LDRs can be tough. Is someone planning on moving?
2. Mid 20s and you want to go through all this pain? These should be your most fun and happy years...
3. Trust, once lost, can be hard to get back. If she doesn't believe in you anymore, is she going to expect you to kiss her behind now?
4. You gave up a friend for her? Not cool-unless we don't know the real story. 
5. 2 emotional and sensitive people together will probably result in this more often than not
6. 3 years living in different countries and your so young. You started "dating" her at a young age.
My opinion is you both need to date others for awhile, stay in touch, don't talk about your dates with each other. It should become clear soon whether you get rid of the jealousy, get back the trust, and work on a plan to be together.
(call me stupid-what's an SMS?) 
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| Feb 7 @ 8:39 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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shabil
Posts: 4
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THIS IS MORE UPDATED ONE SORRY FOR YELLING JUST WANTED TO GET THE READER ATTENTION .
READ THIS DONT READ THE TOP .
one more thing ignore the profile i never used it. i will delete it once i get my answer just in here for this issue so i could post .
i have been in a LDR for 3+ years. I Live in Canada and she is in Asia . i met her here for a month she moved there for school and will finish it in 2 years hopfully.
.we are both Emotional and sensitive. so it hurts when something like this happen. things were working so fine she was trusting me and caring me( and start loving me from far distance and same for me as well). then we decided to get more serious after 1 year
last year after i completed school (after 3yrs of not seeing each other) i decided to join her for a holiday 90 days and we were both excited. she cares for me and we both love each other and we are taking our time to decide for our future( no expcetation from any part). live by day to day
Recently i have been doing some stuff )that got her upset and she does not like surprises like that ( i help a friend Female with her divorce and she end up having feeling for me even she knew i am not into her and working on my current relationship .
my Friend kept in touch with me and told me about her feeling and what would have happend if i was single and told her about her feeling.
( wrote me Email and cell phone text ) but my GF did not know(about the feeling part only)
i told her a bit later when i meet her in person i thought it would be better to talk in person than on the phone or MSN when she read a SMS she got so upset and shocked and said why i let her become so close to me and why did not control it and did she know about me? ( she even talk to her on my back) THE MORE IMPORTANT IS THIS the way she find out. i was gonna tell her evrything thats why i kept the msg and text phone. one day she was playing with my phone and come across the msg then.....
so we talked with all the details and things got a bit better but the main thig is that she does not fully Trust me anymore and she keep telling me about what did i keep lie to me what could i excuses this time i can come up with.i have this feeling that i broke her heart.
i was just helping my friend thats all. but now i am home and really dont know what to do. we are both living on our own . i am here alone and do as she.
i really love her and want the best and i know she loves me too but with the current situation and long distance what is the best solution? . how can i gain my trust back. i know it takes time but i need to tell her sometihng so she wont leave me and atleaset let me prove it to her ( i gave her space so she could think and dunno do the girl stuff thing) ( FYI this is my first Relatioship )
i promised her that i wont deal with my firend anymore and be honest with her and tell her everything even it may hurt( even i told her my reason but she think its all excuses). i think because of the trust issue she does not believe me and think i am doing something on her back even though she know i never do and she know about my feeling toward her.
not sure what i should do ?( i apologize but its not enough i know i need some action plan. please response if anyone need more info i will tell u .
how much time i should give her to think about it one week few days??. i will call her to explain and email her my decision and apology) its sucks cause valentine is on the corner.
we are in both mid 20s and i dont want to lose her and want to work on it . worse happen yes i may have to end this and move on but until i try i wont give up i am a fighter.
[Edited on 2/7/2009 10:00 PM]
[Edited on 2/7/2009 10:04 PM]
[Edited on 2/7/2009 10:18 PM]
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| Feb 7 @ 8:59 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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indigorose351
Posts: 377
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you are really willing to wait another two and a half years? What if you wait that long and she finds someone else?
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| Feb 7 @ 9:23 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none
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shabil
Posts: 4
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she will not find anyone else she loves me i know thats the reason
i could go and find someone too but i love her . if i was not i would not seek help and go through it .
she is the one i have this unexplained feeling
well we both know there is no promises we dont know about the future no one does we dont know if we get married or not but our goal is toward that.
time will tell and we let our life and behaviour and our action tell us . worse happen we wont be together but atleast I tried i am a fighter .
if i date someone else and come across something like this what would u do? leave again?? i will ofcourse move on if i dont see any progress from either side.
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| Feb 7 @ 10:22 PM |
LDR issue need some help anything is better than none |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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Do you really want to deal with her jealousy? You will have to put up with this your entire relationship.
Jealousy is a terrible thing and if she continues to be jealous of a friend, you will never have her true love or trust because she will never have it.
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