| Mar 1 @ 1:13 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,482
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lol so0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
I'm having a little bit of an issue , It's really all me .........
I met someone , and he's great , but I really just just met him .....
and I think I might like him a little to much ,to fast .....
I saw a post , and he sorta almost flirted with someone and I felt this weird twing of jealousy .... and I shouldn't
then I saw her and thought ... hell I can't compete with that ....
so ok .............
The question ...............
in internet dating , how do you keep your cool , patience , whatever long enough to see it through......... allow it to become something , when you can see everything they do ????
I'm not even a jealous person /... and you guys have really become family to me .... I donmo who else to get advice from .......
I think I'm so ready to be happy ... and this one feels , so good ..... so different ,.... I donno
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| Mar 1 @ 9:57 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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uab_5
Posts: 4,759
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Say the Serenity Prayer a few times. 
Always helped me. 
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| Mar 1 @ 10:39 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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First-don't compare yourself to another...you are unique!
Second, I'm not sure what "almost" flirting is....he did or didn't IMHO. And, some of that is ok....
But, don't give up!
If he likes you....he'll stick around for you!
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| Mar 1 @ 11:10 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,498
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Sorry, Skidelz, but I don't have any good advice here. Maybe my best advice would be to take Uab's advice. I will say that it's telling that you said: then I saw her and thought ... hell I can't compete with that .... Trust me, I know exactly where you're coming from.
In all the mishmash about love and relationships, there is a broad disconnect between the concept of "soul mates" and "competition." If you view it as a competition, there is always going to be someone smarter, better looking, better built, better in bed, drives a better car, has more money, dresses better, etc., etc., etc. It has always surprised me that any one person can actually be convinced they are the best person in the world for another person, forever and ever.
The love and desire we feel for others should be a gift we give unconditionally, but that doesn't mean they alone can provide us with those needs we have to have fulfilled by someone else.
The love and desire we receive from others should be a gift we receive gratefully, but not oblingingly.
We neither owe someone because they love us, nor are owed anything because we love.
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| Mar 1 @ 11:56 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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pomegranate
Posts: 1,676
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Girl, don't be so quick to sell yourself short. From your pics and what you write about yourself, not many women can compete with you!
If he turns out to not be "the one," don't worry, for your dance card's always gonna be full, IMO.
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| Mar 2 @ 12:01 AM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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It's really simple.
If you fall in love with someone online you are in love with a fantasy. Don't do it.
You cannot know someone well enough to trust them with your love until you know them in person.
Don't fall in love online.
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| Mar 2 @ 12:06 AM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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If you fall in love with someone online you are in love with a fantasy. Don't do it.
sorry, b.s. at least for me.
i can't wait until my fantasy gets here on the 13th. i bet the second time i see him he'll be totally different than what he said on his facebook profile and he'll also be living a whole different life behind my back, too. 
anyway...
skidelz...i totally understand where you're coming from. when i first got with marko i was always like that...on edge, you know. i mean sometimes i still am...but it's not nearly as bad as it was.
basically, if he's into you, he's into you...not her. just let things continue as normal and see where they go. good luck =)
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| Mar 2 @ 12:07 AM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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LGQ ...what happened to your bf? This is a different guy?
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| Mar 2 @ 12:12 AM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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I don't think so..I've been with him for nearly a year....
He lives in Finland. I met him on Facebook and fell in love with him online...and he's completely genuine. I have absolutely no problem trusting him.
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| Mar 2 @ 12:23 AM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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OK, it's the same guy I remember.
You misinterpreted what I meant.
I didn't mean that you can't have a successful relationship with someone you met online. I meant that you cannot know if you really love them until you have been with them in person.
You may think you love them, and it may turn out that you will love them after you meet them.
But you are falling in love with a fantasy and not a reality until you know them in person. So you should not do it because it is too risky.
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| Mar 2 @ 8:55 AM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,482
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In all the mishmash about love and relationships, there is a broad disconnect between the concept of "soul mates" and "competition." If you view it as a competition, there is always going to be someone smarter, better looking, better built, better in bed, drives a better car, has more money, dresses better, etc., etc., etc. It has always surprised me that any one person can actually be convinced they are the best person in the world for another person, forever and ever.
usually I dont look at it as competition ..... I'm not sure why I even thought it cause im not a jealous person at all ....
I think I just really like him .... really like him .... and it feels really really different ...
I donno . :(
Girl, don't be so quick to sell yourself short. From your pics and what you write about yourself, not many women can compete with you!
If he turns out to not be "the one," don't worry, for your dance card's always gonna be full, IMO.
thats the thing .... It's not often QUALITY men come around ... and I dont want to rush and get hurt ...
but I donno ... she was hot lol and maybe it's my own self esteme that needs work
First-don't compare yourself to another...you are unique!
Second, I'm not sure what "almost" flirting is....he did or didn't IMHO. And, some of that is ok....
But, don't give up!
If he likes you....he'll stick around for you! basically, if he's into you, he's into you...not her. just let things continue as normal and see where they go. good luck
thank you thank you ... I think this is the conclusion I came to ...
if he likes me .. it wont really matter in the end ...
and Diamond ....
I donno ,I have fallen for someone online ... and didnt meet him for three years ... by that time it was ... exactly the same ..
but I've already told the story lol
but I think ... for the first time sence .. I feel like I'm ready to be in something real ... this one .. I dont think about the other ... I dont feel guilty , or like waiting .... I feel like letting go of my inhibitions and just move on
I think im to excited lol lol
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| Mar 2 @ 2:48 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,606
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Deep breaths Ski...I know exactly what you mean and it's the same in real life as it is online...just remember you really need to meet IRL, and QUICK! After that, it's gonna be what it's gonna be and it has nothing to do with the competition or not.
Don't scare yourself off, or him either, by worrying about 'her'. And you don't know what 'he' really wants either...just be yourself....but MEET HIM!
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| Mar 2 @ 3:00 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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Glen59
Posts: 19
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Don't fall in love online.
I'm new on this site but have seen it on the other i've been on for ages---be careful, you have to meet the dude and get to know him personally----
you'll only get hurt otherwise----
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| Mar 2 @ 3:08 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Skidelz...I think that you should go with it...
You are happy ...giddish almost...
We all want that "Spring" feeling where we meet someone and the butterflies start...you should have that...
The jealously thing only means that you care...not that he is doing anything.
Find out how he feels...and go with that!
If you two talk and go with it...you can both still be yourself on here and share the private stuff later....
Just talk to him 
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| Mar 2 @ 3:27 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,482
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lol its so rediculously small ... its not even worth bringing up ... i just , never really got like that before ...
he and i talk a lot ....
and yes we've discused a trip ....
im not worried now ... i dont think ........
well maybe .... lol
im beyond giddish lol lol . . . . .
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| Mar 2 @ 3:28 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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to much ,to fast ... You already realize that, so you have a good handle on what's going on! Good luck!
(OT-Ang-did you get a snow day today?)
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| Mar 2 @ 3:29 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,482
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Don't fall in love online.
I'm new on this site but have seen it on the other i've been on for ages---be careful, you have to meet the dude and get to know him personally----
you'll only get hurt otherwise----
to me love has no bounds and the internet is just another way .........
better then a club lol
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| Mar 2 @ 4:22 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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but I think ... for the first time sence .. I feel like I'm ready to be in something real ... this one .. I dont think about the other ... I dont feel guilty , or like waiting .... I feel like letting go of my inhibitions and just move on
I think im to excited lol lol
You can point 'em in the right direction, but you can't make 'em go there. 
Hope it works out. I'd say about 1 in 100 online love affairs do work out after they actually meet each other, so it's not like there's no chance. 
I still don't see why you can't just keep your feelings in reserve until you at least meet him. Everybody has the capability to have at least that much self control. The Internet is full of stories about online love affairs that collapsed when they finally met in person and the heartbreak associated with it.
Why take that silly chance when there is no need for it?
If there is something that strong there, then meet right away and see if it is real. Why just keep up a fantasy online without actually meeting?
I've been observing the online dating scene longer than just about anyone else. The number one rule I have come up with after a lot of observation (and personal experience!) is "Do not allow yourself to fall in love with someone until you AT LEAST have met them in person."
Think about it. Even when you meet someone in person you STILL don't yet know enough about them to trust them with your heart. How can you possibly expect to know enough without even doing that?
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| Mar 2 @ 4:47 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,482
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I still don't see why you can't just keep your feelings in reserve until you at least meet him. Everybody has the capability to have at least that much self control. The Internet is full of stories about online love affairs that collapsed when they finally met in person and the heartbreak associated with it.
im trying to keep them under control lol ...
that was the point of the thread .....
I think
I'm trying to put it in perspective
LORI! 
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| Mar 2 @ 4:59 PM |
oh god I have a question .... help lol |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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SKIDELZ... you know I love you. So here is my advice, right or wrong.
Meet the guy as soon as possible. Don't prolong the online game because it can be misleading.
Just keep cool and don't let yourself get ahead of the reality.
If it is real, it can wait.
You sound like you are more ready for a relationship than necessarily ready for this particular guy. It's great that you are ready for that, but don't allow it to result in giving your heart to just anyone. Take it slowly. True love can wait.
I'm not saying this isn't the guy for you. I'm just saying you need to take a deep breath and take it one step at a time. You'll have plenty of time to "let your feelings go," later if the relationship is worthy of that.
Don't want to see you hurt.
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