| Jan 9, 2006 @ 4:22 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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joboo0717
Posts: 5
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alright,
for me I think I make the mistake of just giving a handshake at the end of the first date or encounter. Infact, I don't consider just getting a cup of coffee a real date. It is just a 'get to know you and to see if you made it to the 2nd round'. YET, I can count over 5 times where I just offer a handshake and the woman looks piss. Hell, we could have just talk for almost a hour and everything is going great. But the moment I just offer a handshake, boom that is all she wrote.
Am I suppose to put my tougue down your throat to make you interested? Am I suppose to squeeze a body part to grab your attentation?
I am really getting annoyed at this because I think if a guy doesn't try to use you on the first encounter that should be a good sign he likes you for you and not trying to get your pants.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 4:30 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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Angel54214
Posts: 13,170
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Hi joboo and welcome..  Lets see what Angel can help you with. Your gentleman ending date jesture is nice, but it is more a business acknowlegement. You are with a girl, so how about theses suggestions to try and see how they work!
Upon leaving, touch her shoulder and give a gentle kiss on the cheek or
Upon leaving, give her a warm hug or
Upon leaving, give here both.
These hold much more warmth in a date connection. See what you think!
[Edited on 1/9/2006 4:31 PM]
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 4:33 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,735
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I agree with Angel..it doesn`t have to be a lip-lockin` kyna kiss...just a simple peck would do...and that hug for sure 
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 4:36 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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Star22
Posts: 95
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Here's my 2 cents...I agree with Angle and Tink
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 4:37 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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Star22
Posts: 95
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OOps...sorry Angel
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 4:39 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Too cold man. Obviously you don't want to tackle her but you need to end on a warmer more woman friendly note.
Try going for the handshake but hold her hand with both of yours. You know at least warm it up some.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 4:40 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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johnw_6
Posts: 194
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Jo,
it is a first contact if not a first date therefore she's looking for an indication that after it your attracted to her.
Shaking hands is a biz thing - impersonal.
It doesn't have to be full-on kiss but it should be intimate enough that she understands that you'd like to see her again without the need to say so.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 4:41 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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Graystar
Posts: 282
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Why aren't you trying to get into her pants??
I'm confused.... 
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 5:23 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,836
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Instead of shaking her hand,,,,,kiss it. 
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 5:28 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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joboo0717
Posts: 5
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thanks for the reply
i think i got spook last year when i went to hug a girl after the date. She acted so 'argh don't touch me' even though I thought it was okay. After that, I thought I would be less forward on the 1st encounter. For me, going out for some coffee isn't really a date date. Yes, I know some of you consider it. But I look at it as a screening process. Do I want to know this person better? If I do, then I would say 'lets meet up'. I walk them to their car.
I still have this image of one girl almost letting out a big *GASP* when I just my hand out. I don't know. Maybe I just go back to when I was in college and just offer to get drunk with my date. Those times were a lot easier.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 5:31 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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The last two days, I've had two first meets. We just pretty much said, "Goodbye", and walked away. I don't know if there is a set rule, but this is what I DID think about afterwards. Neither man set a date for an actual next meet. We did discuss doing something at another time, but that was it.
My suggestion (I like Sponge's too). Do the handshake, but if you are truly interested in seeing the woman again--SET A DATE. If she refuses, you pretty much know she is not interested. If she does accept, you won't be left wondering where you screwed up.
Handshakes are fine.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 5:31 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Maybe I just go back to when I was in college and just offer to get drunk with my date.
Actually I did much better with women when I drank but it isn't worth it.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 5:42 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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After Coffee:
Handshake = I'm a gentleman, but not interested in you
Hug = I kinda like you!
Kiss = I want to make sure you know I'm not Gay (kidding on this one, that happened to me once, but I'm sure he is gay!)
Some form of a compliment and an "I'd like to do this gain" is appreciated. In fact, a little compliment early on puts me at ease for the rest of the date.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 5:56 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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walkingman
Posts: 639
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I think that is a bit cold also. If there is an obvious physical attraction then I would surely give the lady a hug and a kiss on the cheek. If it is somone that you don't see yourself seeing again then I think a handshake is fine. I have never done a hadshake. . I would rather just walk away if I don't feel an attraction . It's better than leading her to think I do.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 6:23 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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sureyacan125
Posts: 187
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I say: "Come here and give me a hug...." I have not been turned down or told I hurt anyone's feelings yet. To be honest I have had sex on the first date on a few occasions, so I guess it's up to them: A hug  or sex ... Either way I don't push it. 
[Edited on 1/9/2006 6:24 PM]
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 6:29 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^What they said!! Hugs are almost always acceptable, on the rare occasion one isn't, don't take it personally.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 6:45 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,959
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I don't think there's anything wrong with your thinking, jobo. But, there are handshakes, and there are handshakes.
If you extend your hand, she takes it, and you simply shake it and that's the end of it, well, that IS pretty businesslike and cold, particularly if you both had been feeling perhaps another date was in order.
But if you extend your hand with the purpose of taking hers and simply hold it for a "shade too long", even putting your other hand over hers, look her in the eye and ask if you can see her again...well, you will have elevated the handshake to an intimate, yet wholly appropriate gesture.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 7:00 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,449
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ditto
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 7:16 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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whoa joboo.. wake up man!!" Women want (or perhaps need) to feel like they've "made an impression" on you after a first date, even if it's "just a cup of coffee. There are many things inbetween shaking her hand and stuffing your tongue down her throat. A peck on the cheek, or perhaps the corner of her mouth, a light touch on her arm or a hand resting lightly on the small of her back as you give her that kiss makes a good impression and sends the right message if you are interested in her.... the message of respect AND interest.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 7:56 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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joboo0717
Posts: 5
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i have been told i come across cold. I think I sometimes don't want to revert to my old days where I just wanted to hook up with chick for some play. I don't know how to explain. It is like if I am interested I seem to be cold to them. Odd!
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