| Jan 9, 2006 @ 8:31 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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You really haven't said whether you ask the woman out on a second date. I get the impression you ARE interested. So do you set another date? Do you send them an email right after and tell them what a nice time you had? Do you call them and tell them you enjoyed meeting them?
It almost sounds as if that is the end of it.
I don't mind a hug, because I'm a touchy feely woman, but I don't mind a handshake either. I don't think a handshake sends a message the date was a flop. Even you seem to indicate that is not the case, because it sounds as though you are interested in these women.
It's up to you to make the next move though.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 8:42 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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Aselune
Posts: 548
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lol there are so many things I agree with here...I'll just say if you like the woman enough after the first meet and greet...then while you're shaking her hand..if that's what you're most comfortable with..verbalize that you really enjoyed yourself and would like to see her again...how about a movie on --- or lets go play darts on ---
Me..I'm a hugger...even when he goes to shake hands I'll lean forward and just kinda give that half hug if I'm not sure he wants it or not..and leave it up to him if he wants to complete lol the connection at that point...sometimes it hasn't happend..and sometimes it does...
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 8:56 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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lobo65
Posts: 602
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I went out with a woman once, and was just going to do the hug thing. She wouldn't let me walk her to the door, so I didn't get the chance to offer even a handshake. I don't know what she thought I was going to try to do, but she would have been wrong.
I still wonder every once in awhile what I did wrong on that date. Sometimes no matter what you do, the person just isn't in interested in you. It's better not to obsess about it though I guess. 
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 9:08 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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danae74
Posts: 601
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I'm not a touchy-feely person, Jo, so sometimes I feel awkward at the end of a date too! I don't like it when anyone, man, woman, date, or otherwise, invades a three-foot territory around me without my welcoming them in some way. 
However, at the end of the last two first dates I've had, one sort of nervously grinned and gave me a nice, quick, gentlemanly hug; the other took my hand in both of his and smiled (like several people have already suggested.) I enjoyed both, and didn't feel at all offended. In a dating situation, she's almost 90% certain to be as nervous as you are, so....try to do something sincere, and she'll appreciate it. A handshake would read as a sincere brushoff, I think
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 10:05 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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My suggestion (I like Sponge's too). Do the handshake, but if you are truly interested in seeing the woman again--SET A DATE. If she refuses, you pretty much know she is not interested. If she does accept, you won't be left wondering where you screwed up
personally, i wouldn't make an attempt to set up a second date, while still on the tail end of a first date. I'm not saying that someone else shouldn't do that - i'm only saying i wouldn't do it.
A big part of that is that i'm self-conscious and i wouldn't want to make someone feel pressured/awkward if they didn't actually like me. So, if i like someone, what i generally do is say that i do like them, i let them know that i would be interested to see them again, but i tell them that i'm not looking for an answer then and there because i don't want them to feel on the spot.
I then follow up with them after the date to request a second date.
just my personal style...
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 10:10 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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So Sir,
If you are interested, since you don't ask them out again during the first meet, what is your next step? Email? Phone call? Let her contact you?
I would really like to know. I always love to hear the man's take on these things.
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| Jan 9, 2006 @ 10:33 PM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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i'll be happy to give my $.02 worth but it bear's worth mentioning that i rarely do things "the standard way".
in general, i'm not an agressive person by nature. but what i do really depends on the person and the connection i think may be there.
another reason i don't like to put people on the spot is because they won't always tell you the truth anyhow - so what's the point. sometimes they'll say yes just because they feel they're put on the spot and don't want to be rude - but they might not really mean it. so i wouldn't take someone seriously even if they said yes anyhow.
but again, it depends on the connection i had with the person, how long we've chatted, what was our main form of communication before meeting, what interactions we shared on the date, how confident i am that she might say yes or am i trying just for the sake of trying, not really thinking she might say yes.
so based on any of the above, my method could vary greatly, from an email, to phone call, etc.
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| Jan 10, 2006 @ 12:43 AM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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ash_is_unforgetable
Posts: 837
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I agree with majority of everyone. Handshakes are way to formal! I think a simple hug would show that you had a decent time, if someone offered to shake my hand I'd think that , that person didn't want to see me again. Although I love hugs and hug everyone, even if I'm just meeting someone to chat lol. So yea thats my oppinions.
*AsH
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| Jan 10, 2006 @ 1:38 AM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Thanks Sir,
I'm always such a curious girl. 
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| Jan 10, 2006 @ 3:14 AM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this? |
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MoonBeamTag45
Posts: 194
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If a man shook my hand at the end of a date...I would feel like it hadn't gone well. I feel comfortable with the idea of a hug, but please, don't stick your tongue down my throat until I invite you.
Oh, and on the topic of when to ask a woman out for a second date. I prefer the follow up call...otherwise, yes, I would feel put on the spot.
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| Jan 10, 2006 @ 4:54 AM |
end of the date: why do women get so mad when i do this?
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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yep, if a woman shook my hand at the end of my date, I wuold certainly wonder what went wrong! lol If a date goes well, I would expect at least a light kiss on the cheek if she had any interest in me..
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