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| Mar 23 @ 6:44 AM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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carpediem48
Posts: 3,312
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Hi folks,,,feedback needed here,,,please
Does anyone have personal experience with being in a relationship where the other person lied,,,,,and then stopped
I know they say with physical abuse,,,''if they hit you once,,,don't fool yourself that it's not going to happen again"
My question is,,,,does the same hold true for lying???
Has anyone been in a relationship where they were able to trust again because the other person DID stop lying?
Thankyou,,,I will look forward to your comments
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| Mar 23 @ 8:29 AM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,291
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I'm sorry to say...but for the most part...if a person's first instinct is to lie, then they might do it again.
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| Mar 23 @ 8:58 AM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,643
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^^^ this is true......
(but.........everyone has lied at one time or another in their life. it is a matter of growing out of the fear of consequences and responsibility for ones actions..)
so yes.. I think that if a person grows within themselves.. they can stop lying about the important issues...)
(morning..  )
[Edited on 3/23/2009 9:16 AM]
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| Mar 23 @ 9:11 AM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,291
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Morning to both of you.
I do agree with Gallows....
It depends on the magnatude of the lie. If it is small to spare your feelings, that is completely different.
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| Mar 23 @ 9:13 AM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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rough
Posts: 982
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Not talking about little white lies... but yes, once a liar always a liar.
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| Mar 23 @ 9:39 AM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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I agree it is a hard "habit" for many to break.
Sometimes life-changing events, birth of a child, loss of a loved one, kicks that habit right out of them.
Others just make poor choices, then cover it up. The more it works-the more they do it.
WB Carpe
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| Mar 23 @ 10:17 AM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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katydid438
Posts: 8,019
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Others just make poor choices, then cover it up. The more it works-the more they do it. I find this to be true more often than not.
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| Mar 23 @ 12:28 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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warrior674
Posts: 6,580
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Oh I never lie... 
...Is my nose growing?  
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| Mar 23 @ 2:43 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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carpediem48
Posts: 3,312
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Thankyou for your comments people,,,I do appreciate them
I hesitated over using the 'label' liar in the the title of this thread because I really don't
like 'labels' but I think I was trying to be succinct,,,,otherwise the title of the thread might have been waaaaay toooo long and confusing.
do believe people can change,,,,or rather reconnect with who they truly are at their core
I do believe that lying is basically 'fear' based,,,,and knowing that the temptation is to say to oneself,,,,"if only I can make the other person feel more secure and loved then they will stop,,,,but there's something not quite right about that ,
Anyway ,,,,thankyou again for your comments
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| Mar 23 @ 4:21 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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Unfortunately, the better the liar, the more they convince themselves of the lies they tell. At some point, when pressed, I think that's when their true character comes out.
Either try to make you think you're the crazy one when you find out the lie, or they get angry.
And people who are inclined to lie...well, what's to make them stop?
They're getting something out of it. Until it no longer works for them, probably, yes.
They will always be a liar. JMO
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| Mar 23 @ 5:18 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
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Pam  . Yes, if they lie continuously they never stop... like politicians and psychopaths hehehe... Take the finance industry for instance... How long do they keep quiet before a swindle is revealed... Well they keep right on pretending it's OK because otherwise the shares will crash... So when it breaks, someone else breaks it... and then the cards fall...
It also depends what people are lying about... if it's about infidelity, they will never start being honest about that... or stop doing it... 
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| Mar 23 @ 5:28 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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CPU....agreed. However, business is business and personal is personal.
Psychopaths...whole different story. 
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| Mar 23 @ 5:52 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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lj450
Posts: 9,550
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My thoughts....
If I believe that someone else is so bad of a person that they can never improve themselves or "get better", it speaks for what is inside of me.
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| Mar 23 @ 6:41 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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I wonder how many men tell women that they love them only to assure themselves of getting sex.
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| Mar 23 @ 6:45 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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signme
Posts: 12,535
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Lots! But then again, I'm sure some women are quite guilty of lying about things also.
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| Mar 24 @ 5:24 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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carpediem48
Posts: 3,312
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I sure do wish I could change the title of this thread
'Liar is a LABEL and I can remember that I never told my children that they were
a 'bad boy' or a 'bad girl' .
I did however tell them that they had done a bad thing.
If I had children at home today I wonder if I would use the phrase "That doesn't 'work' for me ??? 
I'm glad I don't have to figure that one out
Being non judgmental is the path I want to stay on these days,,,BUT
AT THE SAME TIME i WANT TO BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY and ACCEPT REALITY
Accepting and loving a person who has lied
Understanding the fear 'behind' the lie
doesn't always mean
I can accept them into my life on an 'interactive' basis
I obviously have confusion despite the truth I speak
Confusion causes me to ask questions
The challenge is to be open to the answers
Thankyou once again for your responses
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| Mar 25 @ 1:28 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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thor22
Posts: 3,350
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well, once upon a time I lied once...wasn't that enough? 
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| Mar 25 @ 2:07 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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Carp.. I think the whole point of this thread is not if they will stop lying its if you can trust them again...am I right?? I have been there and done that.. caught them outright in a lie or caught them and then they lied to cover up what they had done. most get defensive very few are remorseful.. why??.. no one likes to be thought of in a bad light. even if they know they deserve it.. it is hard to KNOW that they resorted to lying to you instead of trusting you to understand or love you enough not to do what they had to lie about .. its very hard to rekindle that trust that has been broken for sure.. sometimes the naggin wondering if they will do it again is enough to tear you apart...the main question is can YOU handle the lie and the lack of trust ??? can you put aside your suspicions and let them prove themselves again to you?? BUT and hers the big one... if you so and they again destroy your trust then there is no hope you either learn to live with it or leave...
Fool me once shame on you.. fool me twice shame on me...
but hen love has this funny way of skewing ones perceptions huh?? 
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| Mar 25 @ 2:08 PM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar?????
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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BTW HUGGS CARPE
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| Apr 27 @ 2:02 AM |
Once a liar,,,always a liar????? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,858
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.
...Sometimes, the truth would sound better and yet, some people still prefer to tell the lie.
...And sometimes, at that very moment, if not but subliminally, we want to hear the lie and when we say that we don't, we are lying to ourselves.
...Nevertheless, I think most everyone lies and depending on the individual conscious, from little white ones to huge, life changing ones. And then there are those that at that moment, believe their own lie, as they don't know their self. As well, is not omission, not telling the total facts, a lie in itself?
...The compassionate side says that anyone can change if they want to and there appears to be the key to it all... they have to want to, put forth the effort to do so and be brave enough to accept the consequences of the actual truth.
=============
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