| May 4 @ 4:35 PM |
"Unconditional love" test
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capitalview
Posts: 758
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"... If you find her for me , sir, I have a bit put by. I believe I can manage to pay you.
And I've been thinking , sir , there might be a reason for her disappearance.
You see, sir, it was a funny crowd she was mixed up in. She might be in a bit of trouble, if you know what I mean."
"You mean she might have been going to have a child ? Your child?"
" Not mine, sir". Ted flushed."There wasn't anything wrong between us."
Poirot looked at him thoughtfully. He murmured "And if what you suggest is true?
Do you still want to find her?"
The color surged up in Ted Williamson's face. He said: "Yes, I do , and that's flat!
I want to marry her if she'll have me. And that's no matter what kind of a jam she's in!
If you'll only try and find her for me, sir."
Agatha Cristie "The Labors of Hercules"
Lovely story, and come to think about it - the best example of truly unconditional love I ever came across , this perfect love everyone is looking for - to find it in the most unexpected place - in a mystery novel.
Or maybe the reason lies in the British national character?
I'm pretty sure that nowhere else in the world a guy would ever consider trading power and the highest social position for a marriage to a woman of his choice - but British crown prince did it at a drop of his hat. Talk about romantic nation 
I suspect the common phenomena of "damsel in distress" is nothing more than a pretense, a test , the way women are checking how unconditional the guy's love is...  We,guys, on the other hand , don't have a way to do the same test -
a "fella in distress" looking to be rescued, would make nothing but laughing stock of himself. We cannot expect the lady to be our protector or provider ,either, that would be totally impotent expectation. Neither we can expect the lady to betray
the future of her child risking getting pregnant out of wedlock for our pleasure - that would be hardly gentlemanly behavior.
So, my question is : Is there any similar "pretense test" for a guy to make sure if her love is unconditional?
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| May 4 @ 5:28 PM |
"Unconditional love" test |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Only the same test she can give him right back.
Love that works, isn't one-sided....
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| May 4 @ 6:22 PM |
"Unconditional love" test
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SugarDaddy62
Posts: 87
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I'm looking for a woman who won't just love me for my money or the great sex, i'm looking for a woman who has unconditional love for me, and i'm also looking for a woman who can suck the chrome off a trailer-hitch, and if i can find a woman with those 2 qualities, then my life will truly be complete.
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| May 4 @ 7:04 PM |
"Unconditional love" test |
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capitalview
Posts: 758
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Sorry, bro, you are out of luck . It would be a tough task - to find a woman with her G-point IN HER MOUTH ....  It's obvious that you are getting your idea of "true love" from your experience with prostitutes.
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| May 5 @ 12:19 AM |
"Unconditional love" test
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Empath
Posts: 5,288
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So, my question is : Is there any similar "pretense test" for a guy to make sure if her love is unconditional?
If the man is a provider, and the pretense he succumbs to the "damsel in distress", isn't 'his' woman the nurturer and the pretense she succumbs to a need for TLC?
Talk about romantic nation I think I'm missing my glasses... That says 'romantic notion', right? 
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| May 5 @ 12:07 PM |
"Unconditional love" test |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,642
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If the man is a provider, and the pretense he succumbs to the "damsel in distress", isn't 'his' woman the nurturer and the pretense she succumbs to a need for TLC?
yes... 
( a relationship requires mutual "wants needs and desires..".to work
the unconditional aspect of it ...is mostly... just a personality trait... true love never requires any "unconditional" or not ..testing...
Samantha: I have to ask you a question. It's a good one so think about it. If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?
Jerry: Never.
quoted from "The Mexican"
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| May 5 @ 11:32 PM |
"Unconditional love" test
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Empath
Posts: 5,288
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Amen Gallows, Amen.
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| May 5 @ 11:41 PM |
"Unconditional love" test |
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signme
Posts: 12,571
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I think the only true unconditional love is what you get from babies or animals.
JMO
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| May 6 @ 4:12 AM |
"Unconditional love" test
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,493
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I sort of agree with Sign, and sort of don't. Animals and small children have a tendency to love unconditionally, although it is clear that such can be beat out of them. (I'm not advocating that; merely making an observation.) I don't think, for a mature adult, "unconditional" love is realistic.
It seems to me that what is generally considered "unconditional love" is more akin to hero worship, where we can love with absolutely no expectation of reciprocation or without admitting that we have any needs ourselves. The closest thing adults really experience to "unconditional love" is probably better expressed "devoting" themselves to someone, but that is only possible when their needs are fulfilled by their self-satisfaction from that devotion. I'm a bit unsure how psychologically healthy that is. And I'm not at all sure subjugating and sublimating my every need is any more an indication of love than asking them to do so would be.
And in that vein, the "test" that guys have put on women for them to show unconditional love has for years been to be to bend, supply yielding, to every demand by them, no matter how irrational, disrespectful or debasing. The classic, "I you loved me you would!"
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| May 6 @ 2:10 PM |
"Unconditional love" test |
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Empath
Posts: 5,288
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Earlier in this thread, I responded to the basic question being asked, in the vein it was being asked, but I just want to state my own belief here....
..."unconditional love" does exist... I know it for fact, but testing is just not a part of it. Unconditional love is just given, and the giver does not test the one(s) it is given to. Why would someone who truly loves another test them? Would it change the love in some way?
I think many people confuse unconditional love with other types, such as 'romantic' love. Unconditional love is more of a spiritual love than anything, and "'unconditional love' test" is really an oxymoron.
...jmo...
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| May 6 @ 3:01 PM |
"Unconditional love" test
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. It has also been used in a Christian context to describe God's love for humankind through the forgiveness of Christ............
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| May 6 @ 4:51 PM |
"Unconditional love" test |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,858
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Capital: Lovely story, and come to think about it - the best example of truly unconditional love I ever came across , this perfect love everyone is looking for - to find it in the most unexpected place - in a mystery novel.
...Not exactly the love I am searching for, as it is would be a rather miserable existence if but one sided.
==========
Capital: It would be a tough task - to find a woman with her G-point IN HER MOUTH ....
...At 18 or so, I was in the Old Chelsea Theater in Denver, the evening the Linda Lovelace made her debut. The whole plot was based on she could not obtain an orgasm after basically 100's of attempts and the infamous doctor John Holmes discovered her "G-point" as you call it, was in the back of her throat and voila! ... problem solved.
...The place was raided the next night and the flick was revised to show a little less talent.
Nevertheless, still not unconditional love....
===========
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signme: I think the only true unconditional love is what you get from babies or animals.
...That is interesting, as I have often contemplated that unconditional love included the need of each other to survive. Today, 'need' is often taken out of the equation and diagnosed by western psychology as a weakness, while not so long ago, it was in fact truth, that people did need each other to survive.
...I can only suppose that someone has had to have actually been in love to understand this, but it is the want and need of someone so much, that if you could crawl inside of them and go wherever they go, you would. When mutual, it is not possessive, it is not jealous, it is being in love with each other, wanting to be with each other, rather than guys/girls night out at a bar... and then add the need for survival, you may very well have unconditional love.
...But what do I know... I am still single.
=================
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| May 6 @ 5:49 PM |
"Unconditional love" test
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,040
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SG, that was awesome!
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| May 6 @ 6:42 PM |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 17,992
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Love should never have to be tested.....ever....
However through the storms of life it can be tested through an illness, such as losing a limb, or even a breast, as I just heard the other day...A husband of 20 some years left his wife because she had a masectomy.....his love for her was tested unexpectedly.... and it was not "unconditional"..... 
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
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| May 6 @ 7:42 PM |
"Unconditional love" test
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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Spring 
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| May 6 @ 9:29 PM |
"Unconditional love" test |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 17,992
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Here is a test for you.....
Have you ever loved someone and they didn't love you back? That is truly selfless and "unconditional" love..... 
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| May 6 @ 9:41 PM |
"Unconditional love" test
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Yes-
but the 2 of us may have "felt" love differently, it just didn't "work" together...
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| May 7 @ 12:24 AM |
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Empath
Posts: 5,288
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To give, when you haven't anything to give, simply because someone else needs it, is an example of unconditional love.
To continue to love when your heart aches, is an example of unconditional love.
Spring:
Thank you. Christian or not, those are words to live by!
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| May 9 @ 8:24 AM |
"Unconditional love" test
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SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,137
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I have to agree with some of the other posters here... unconditional love can be had by adults. You CAN love someone unconditionally yet want something you can't have. And eventually adult unconditional love can be sort of 'beat' out of you. Enough pain in a relationship can bury your love so deep you lose sight and feel of it.
Does not mean it is gone or that you did not originally love the person. Just that you have had enough pain or trials and tribulations and you move on. When you move on, later, after the mind forgets much of the disasters of the other person, you again can feel that love you had for them in the beginning. You just no longer feel it so intensely.
Unconditional love means loving them regardless. Sometimes it makes you feel helpless that this emotion has such a hook in you. I love most people unconditionally. I just do not want to spend my life with them.
As for a test for it...only person that can 'test' that love is the person that has that love.
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| May 9 @ 8:55 AM |
"Unconditional love" test |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,311
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I think that this is an awful question....grown ups should not test each other.
I agree with a lot of people on here for whatever my 2 cents is worth...
Spirit has a point. The person being abused continues on with the unconditional love hoping that the other loves them enough to fix the situation. Eventually this "test" the abuser is putting you through becomes too much and you have to walk away. Other men, no matter how grown, will resort to the if you really love me you will do "X". Eventually you have to realize that this is not love and no matter what you do, you will never convince the other person the innocents of your actions. The tests will just keep getting harder.
To me unconditional love has no test by either party. If you are dating and things are going well and both are happy nobody looks too deeply into the "unconditional" part of the relationship. The proof of the depth of caring is when events happen in the relationship. They could be as small as going out with their friends...you just trust them. No doubts that they will stray and that they will be honest about their actions. Or, the events could be serious...someone gets hurt, or sick or loses their job. Unconditional means you love them the same with or without the job, or their health. You just love them and want to work at the situation together.
When mutual, it is not possessive, it is not jealous, it is being in love with each other, wanting to be with each other, rather than guys/girls night out at a bar... and then add the need for survival, you may very well have unconditional love. Gemini
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