| May 10, 2009 @ 10:28 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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SensualGemini
Posts: 7,545
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lilcountry: My sugestion is to just totally rewrite your profile.
 ... I don't know; I kind of like the truth myself.
...He comes right out in his profile and says he is "retired." makes about $700/month, does not drive and infatuated with sex, even if a Wednesday night pity donation, etc. and then it goes downhill from there, such as she needs to cook, she needs to be able to drive to him, as he cannot go to her, etc.
...What he needs to do, is to rewrite his life and become someone that he would date, someone he would be proud to be with.
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| May 10, 2009 @ 10:34 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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BandTMom
Posts: 39,486
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Good advice! 
Although I want to be "all" to someone, that is asking a little too much.  I think most women would feel that way.
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| May 10, 2009 @ 10:36 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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signme
Posts: 13,049
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Kind of what I thought after I read his profile. I doubt I'd be interested in someone who only makes $700 a month--when I retire I'll make quite a bit more than that. I couldn't live without driving and I won't be a chauffeur to someone else!
I'd feel like I was supporting him and that's not what I want.
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| May 10, 2009 @ 10:36 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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ANGRY_MUPPET
Posts: 4,315
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can't believe he has not returned for the little tips maybe he was looking for more than a 10 spot,.,or maybe he is STILL at the gay barber shop getting clipped   .,or maybe wicced scared him away with that gun
lots of good advice tho.,
[Edited on 5/10/2009 10:44 PM]
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| May 10, 2009 @ 11:43 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,457
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Hey guys.... just an appeal to go easy on this guy. From where I stand he sounds like he needs some friendly advice and support...criticism?.... not so much.
I hope darthcdrz is reading this because I thought of some ideas that I hope will help... These are my opinions friend, I hope you don't mind hearing them.
As I said, I think the main thing you need to do is to build up your confidence. How do you do that? I have two specific ideas:
First, I think that you need to spend some time socializing with groups of people before even trying to meet a girl one on one. Do you have friends? Do they get together for parties, dinners, gatherings? Do you belong to any organizations, clubs, etc. where you could sign up for events that let you be around a group of people in a social setting?
I think that is the best way to start to feel more comfortable around women and the first step in building your confidence. Start out in a setting that isn't even about dating or singles ... like a class of some kind or something like that....or even just a social club or social gatherings of friends. ...Just to give you a chance to talk to some women without either of you being under any pressure, and without it being specifically about dating or romance.
That way you can build up your comfort level. Make sure you talk to a lot of people and build up your social skills.
Once you feel more comfortable about that... and it may take a while, you have to be patient... here is another idea...
When you get to the point where you feel more comfortable, start transitioning to more "singles" oriented things like gatherings specifically for singles, or a night out in a bar or a club.
Years ago I used to do a little exercise to keep my chick skills up.  I'd go out to a club and ask a girl to dance. If she said no (which was exceedingly rare of course  ) I'd immediately ask another girl to dance... and so on until I got a yes. It is an awesome way to take the next step. If a girl says no, what have you lost? Just keep on trying until you get a yes.
It's much less stressful than asking for a date, BUT, after you master that, and have gone out a few times, and had a few dances, you should reach the point where you have an opportunity to ask for a date after you dance. You can always ask her if she'd like to have a drink with you after you dance and then strike up a conversation. DON'T RUSH ANYTHING ... that is DEATH to your chances. You have to sort of wait for her to come to you while you are going through the motions. Don't ask me why, it just works like that.
If it seems like it is falling apart, politely say thanks for the time and move on to someone else. If everything is going right, you both should be feeling really comfortable and kind of excited at the same time.
I'm saying all of this because I think the hardest part for you might be building a bridge between where you are now and where you want to go. You need some practical things you can do to build up to that point, and I hope this helps provide that.
About timing... you can't rush this process. You need to work at each step and give each step time before you move on to the next step. Then, when you do meet someone, you need to be PATIENT.
So you have to deal with the sex thing so that you can BE patient. Trust me, once you do your time, and pay your dues, with the right girl you will get all the sex you want and then some. But you have to build the relationship a little first. And that takes some confidence and skills.
But you have to be extremely patient, take your time, take the steps to get yourself back up to speed and most of all DON'T GIVE UP.
Good luck ...
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| May 10, 2009 @ 11:48 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 11,176
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I don't think I was criticizing...I think I was offering advice. Maybe I came off a bit too blunt, though. I tend to do that...
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| May 10, 2009 @ 11:49 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,457
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I wasn't talking about anyone in specific LGQ... just a general comment.
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| May 11, 2009 @ 12:05 AM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 11,176
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I know just putting it out there =)
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| May 11, 2009 @ 12:29 AM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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signme
Posts: 13,049
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I was criticizing. Nothing in his profile appealed to me. I think he should change it and leave out a lot of the stuff. Be more generalized. Once you meet someone and are more comfortable with them, then go the honesty route. But we don't need all that info up front.
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| May 11, 2009 @ 1:19 AM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 8,193
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Hmmmm. While I would agree that rewriting his profile would probably be a good idea, I'm not sure "leave a lot of that stuff out" is really the best advice. Maybe leave out some things, especially the details about his sex life, but just tone some of it down. I'm reminded, in a way, of the thread about transgendered people and "honesty." How many times does he want to get to the third e-mail exchange just to have a prospective date go "You don't drive? I'd have to come pick you up?!?" and never hear from her again? I see a lot of people suggesting ways for him to try to develop a little self-confidence, but I can assure you that getting the door slammed by five or six contacts in a row is NOT ego-building.
And, yeah, we don't need a dollar figure for his income, but as Sign pointed out (and especially in our age range), it IS a consideration for a lot of people. Saying he is "currently retired and on a limited income" would probably be enough to scare away the golddiggers.
Too, though, profiles can be "overworked." How many of us have had exchanged an e-mail or two, noticed they weren't quite as "polished" as the profile, then had a phone conversation where it became apparent someone had a LOT of help with their profile?
All in all, I suppose I would suggest he have a friend help him a little bit with his profile. (I used to ask ladies I worked with to check my profile and see what they thought of it.) I would probably also advise he participate in some forums and chats, just as a way to keep up his "conversational" skills. If he can learn to be himself and interact with people online, he can transition to being himself and interact with people in public. The key being, to be himself.
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| May 11, 2009 @ 1:46 AM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Not sure what all the fuss is about. I read his profile and thread starter and it all seems like an elaborate joke. Either that or he really is that pitiful and misogynistic (Gawd, hope not).
 Mo
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| May 11, 2009 @ 7:28 AM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,457
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Seems to me whether it's real or a hoax, the guy needs some serious help.
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| May 11, 2009 @ 8:15 AM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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rough
Posts: 982
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The fact that this guy has not made love to any woman more than once indicates that he's got a remarkably small penis.
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| May 11, 2009 @ 8:57 AM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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willowy1
Posts: 9,283
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and maybe the opposite is true. Perhaps all you overly endowed can instruct this man on how to calm the fears of a woman with an average sized vag.
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| May 11, 2009 @ 12:25 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 15,004
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Ill go with the rewrite and leave out the WHINING!!! omg that is what I read from it. whining about this and that UGH!!! definitely not appealing...A short n sweet intro on a profile would work so much better..JMHO tho..what do I know ?? mine on here is way short and on other sites I had one on its not that it is short but it definitely not negative like his.. 
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| May 11, 2009 @ 3:10 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 7,545
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DR: Hey guys.... just an appeal to go easy on this guy. From where I stand he sounds like he needs some friendly advice and support...criticism?.... not so much.
...Initially, considering that he may very well be suicidal, I was going easy. But, after actually viewing the eyes in the profile, I did a little research.
...Initially and as parable to your dance analogy is that if he does not know how to dance, cannot dance for whatever reason, but is persistent enough to keep asking and being rejected until finally, someone says yes and he steps on her feet, dances some ignorant phase that went out of style with derby hats, he is not going to get a second dance... or chance.
...But, I think he knows how to dance and in fact, rather certain he knows a hell of a lot more about the psychology of attracting the type that he can further manipulate.
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Knight: And, yeah, we don't need a dollar figure for his income, but as Sign pointed out (and especially in our age range), it IS a consideration for a lot of people. Saying he is "currently retired and on a limited income" would probably be enough to scare away the golddiggers.
...Gold Diggers come in both genders and the OP's version of being "retired" at 48, on less than $700/month, is actually disabled, is perpetually unmotivated, or worse, such as with a criminal or mental history, or both.
...Can anyone here live on less than $700/month and still have enough food to attain the size of some 300 pounds?
...Since he has supposedly never driven and she must drive to him, originally from NYC, the photo is from 02, has posted he wants a woman that is lonely, no friends, no family, yet has somehow been to every musical concert known to man; if there is any potential "gold digging" going on here, it is with the OP.
...There is absolutely nothing wrong and actually, everything right with a woman wanting a man that can at least provide for himself. Meantime, there is a lot more to the OP's story than what is being divulged.
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...Personally, I believe it to be a psychological con-job with the intent of luring very lonely, but extremely compassionate women with no attachments to the lair of an undesirable of unknown consequences.
...If it were my sister, I would strongly encourage her to avoid this one like the plague.
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| May 11, 2009 @ 3:35 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,457
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It could all be a joke, but I'd rather go easy on this person on the chance he may have some serious problems than take a chance on making them worse. I said what I said based on having seen his reference to suicide. That's not a funny thing.
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| May 11, 2009 @ 4:55 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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...If it were my sister, I would strongly encourage her to avoid this one like the plague.
SG, if your sister is dumb enough to go out with a guy like this your family should disown her, and fast! 
DR, you need to give this guy a heart-to-heart and straighten him out (maybe a few smacks, too ~wink).
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| May 11, 2009 @ 4:58 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date.....
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,457
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| May 11, 2009 @ 5:03 PM |
i sure wish i knew what i had to do to get a date..... |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Has he even replied lately? Another sign the guy is an impostor if he doesn't actively participate in his own thread.
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