| May 26 @ 8:59 PM |
The perfect woman?
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brinkmann
Posts: 20
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I'm divorced. When my wife and I split I promised myself I wouldn't settle for any woman who didn't meet this criteria:
a. intelligent
b. gainfully employed
c. fiscally responsible
d. attractive
e. completely into me
Most of which my ex wasn't... but that's another topic.
My issue is I met a woman like this (in spades!) and the relationship is excellent. But 5 months in I'm getting cold feet. And I have no idea why. I love being with her and doing stuff and the sex is awesome, but something is missing.
Do I:
A. Wait a while longer and see what happens
B. Grow a pair and break up with her
C. Get over it, it's my recent divorce screwing with me
I've never been in a relationship that was so perfect, yet that I wanted to end. The rational side of me tells me I'm self defeating, my heart tells me I'd be making a mistake, but something is making me want to end this immediately. I have not cheated on her.
She wants to be with me as much as possible, and is already making long term plans, and talking about how great it would be for me to be able to sell my house and move in with her, but I find myself running away.
She makes more money than I do so it's not like she's a gold digger. She is definitely as or more intelligent than I am, so she is stimulating to hang out with. She is incredibly hot and I'm very attracted to her. We have the same politics, love the same music etc.
What is wrong with me? 
I'd already had several rebound mini-relationships before I met her. I did have a fling with my best friend, who is a woman and ex coworker before this. I had a huge crush on her, and we got crazy a few times, but we decided to go back to being best friends.
Is it likely that that crush and/or the divorce is messing with my mind? I really don't want to screw this up, but I also don't want to waste my girlfriends time... She'd be devastated if I broke it off and would want to know why. I don't think I have a good reason to give.
-B
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| May 26 @ 9:01 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Your heart will tell you what strangers can't.
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| May 26 @ 9:03 PM |
The perfect woman?
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,041
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She's rushing you into a commitment that you aren't prepared to make.
Don't give up, but you do need to tell her that you need to slow things down.
[Edited on 5/26/2009 9:07 PM]
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| May 26 @ 9:03 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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plowman
Posts: 1,283
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actually, the perfect woman is dead from the neck up! 
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| May 26 @ 9:15 PM |
The perfect woman?
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signme
Posts: 12,578
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No wonder you're desperate, Plow!
On topic--I think you need to slow down some. Sounds like she is rushing you. Maybe sit down and talk about what you each want at this point in the relationship to clarify things some.
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| May 26 @ 9:18 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,676
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What's that old saying ..... "Be careful what you wish for" .....
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| May 26 @ 9:32 PM |
The perfect woman?
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Especially since you're "separated"
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| May 26 @ 9:33 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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i agree  Lori 
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| May 26 @ 9:34 PM |
The perfect woman?
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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I'm sorry, but threads like this reek with narcissism
Constant lists and bullet points of what a woman "must" have coming into a relationship without telling us what he'll give in return (other than being "into" her) is a dead giveaway.
Other not so subtle clues....
5 months in I'm getting cold feet ("you're" getting cold feet?...explains a lot).
I love being with her and doing stuff and the sex is awesome, but something is missing (how about mutual respect and LOVE?).
I'd already had several rebound mini-relationships before I met her...fling with my best friend...decided to go back to being best friends (quit thinking with your cock instead of your brain).
No hint of humility, modesty, or weakness on his part, Everything's geared to his satisfaction and gratification with nary a word about the gf he supposedly worships so much.
The final kicker..
She'd be devastated if I broke it off and would want to know why.
SHE"D be devastated?...she's so into you she'd fall apart, eh?....couldn't function or get over you. Maybe YOU'D be devastated when you told her you're breaking up and she just shrugged her shoulders moved on with no problem. What an ego killer "that" would be?
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| May 26 @ 9:38 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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signme
Posts: 12,578
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Wow Mo, that's really looking at it from a totally different angle!
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| May 26 @ 9:42 PM |
The perfect woman?
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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That's my take after reading about his "problem". If he doesn't like it too bad. I've read a couple other posts of his which just confirms what I wrote above.
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| May 26 @ 9:45 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,041
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I see what you mean, Mo. Sometimes I read things too fast and don't see all of it....especially really long posts.
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| May 26 @ 9:57 PM |
The perfect woman?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,951
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Mo 
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| May 26 @ 9:58 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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If this guy was a simple scammer I wouldn’t even have responded and feed the troll. But he actually sounds on the level? Hey, one creates a thread about their personal life they get whatever feedback comes. It can be positive or negative. It’s not my job to avoid hurting his feelings. To me the OP sounds immature, crude, insensitive, egocentric, and arrogant. Give me things in the OP that would demonstrate otherwise?
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| May 26 @ 10:05 PM |
The perfect woman?
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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| May 26 @ 10:09 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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| May 26 @ 10:12 PM |
The perfect woman?
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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| May 26 @ 10:15 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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plowman
Posts: 1,283
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the perfect woman is also a little wiccked too, hey! 
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| May 26 @ 10:22 PM |
The perfect woman?
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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| May 26 @ 10:27 PM |
The perfect woman? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,311
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Hey, one creates a thread about their personal life they get whatever feedback comes. It can be positive or negative. It’s not my job to avoid hurting his feelings. But I've never seen you go out of your way to be harsh or hurt someones feelings. Usually you just ignore... 
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