| Jun 14 @ 2:42 PM |
Why do people stray?
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artcat7
Posts: 576
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Everyone who cheats sexually has some story or excuse or extenuating circumstances but in most cases it really boils down to a lack of respect.......a clear decision to break the contract you have with your significant other.
I've heard it said that love dies or ends but that's not really true, no matter what the circumstances involved in the loss of love it is a decision to stop loving someone. While I'm sure it's often for quite valid reasons, I'm equally sure there are instances when it could have been saved but one person decided they didn't want to love the other any longer.
I sometimes thing people stray in a relationship to precipitate it's end.
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| Jun 14 @ 8:22 PM |
Why do people stray? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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Lack of will power....
or
didn't care much in the beginning... 
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| Jun 14 @ 8:27 PM |
Why do people stray?
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Merchitown
Posts: 6,130
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boils down to a lack of respect
I think it goes from being in love, to just loving the other, to then just caring for the other, to just respecting the other, to not even having that.
Once that occurs...all kinds of nasty things begin to happen. I firmly believe that everything starts and ends with respect. It's too fundamental to a relationship to not be true.
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| Jun 14 @ 9:04 PM |
Why do people stray? |
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plowman
Posts: 1,283
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when my x left me she said it was time to love herself... 
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| Jun 14 @ 9:36 PM |
Why do people stray?
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Kenn159
Posts: 4,402
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I firmly believe that everything starts and ends with respect. 
Is the momentary urge to be with someone else worth the pain it will cause your love one?
For all the time one devotes to developing and strengthening this bond with your loved one,is a quick fling a worth while price to turn your whole relationship into a lie?
It is ultimately about respect, and considering the interest of another above your own.
I say interest of another, because I was born with the wondering eye gene  , but I just don't give into it.
So maybe for me, it's respect and willpower. 
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| Jun 18 @ 1:05 AM |
Why do people stray? |
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Say_Yes
Posts: 2,225
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Typically, it is one of two reasons. Either one, the person is self centered & only cares about his/her own wants.
In long term relationships, people typically cheat because a need that they have is not being met in their current relationship. There is a great book on the subject, His Needs, Her Needs. It was written by a minister, who is also a marriage counselor. His research showed that relationships didn't fail, because of infidelity, but rather that infidelity happens, because of a failed relationship. I highly recommend it, as a worthwhile read.
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| Jun 18 @ 7:40 AM |
Why do people stray?
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oct_cat
Posts: 1,374
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Why do people stray? Maybe cuz they don't have a leash on??? 
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| Jun 18 @ 7:50 AM |
Why do people stray? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,499
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His research showed that relationships didn't fail, because of infidelity, but rather that infidelity happens, because of a failed relationship. I highly recommend it, as a worthwhile read. I've not read the book, SayYes, but I can tell you that even without reading his research, it would back up a lot of what I have personally witnessed over the years and makes a lot of sense to me.
Unfortunately, in too many relationships, from the very beginning, it is largely about what each person wants for themselves ("Oooh.. gotta have THAT!") The question of whether or not they can provide what the other person needs is a question that occurs to a very, very small percentage of the people. Couple that with what we think we need right now often not being what we come to realize we need eventually, and I'm amazed sometimes that any couple ever manages to stay together for a lifetime.
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| Jun 18 @ 11:48 AM |
Why do people stray?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,607
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Sometimes they really don't even understand themselves, let alone their partner. They form a relationship based on their own perceptions, then later find out they weren't even close to understanding what they needed, let alone their partner.
The couple I'm thinking of right now were a mismatch from the gitgo; obvious to everyone but them. Top it off with being the types to clam up rather than talk about a problem, and you have disaster. He ended up cheating, and everybody in his family condemned him and pretty much cut him off. Much to their chagrin, he was very okay with that, his very young and drop dead gorgeous wife divorced him and he moved in with his mildly attractive and ten years older than him, lover. That was about 15 years ago. He's since married her and they've been one of the most devoted couples I've ever known. If he's upset about something, she'll bug him till he talks about it. Whatever the reason, it's working for them.
Bottom line, I agree with Say_Yes and NO. It's all about the relationship. If it's working, cheating's not usually a problem...it's the other way around.
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| Jun 20 @ 2:59 PM |
Why do people stray? |
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plowman
Posts: 1,283
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I think its all about being selfish...
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| Jun 20 @ 3:02 PM |
Why do people stray?
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willowy1
Posts: 9,192
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you have to teach them to stay in the yard.
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| Jun 20 @ 3:12 PM |
Why do people stray? |
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plowman
Posts: 1,283
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gives 'em a shock collar...I tells ya! 
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| Jun 20 @ 8:47 PM |
Why do people stray?
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artcat7
Posts: 576
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Is that what works for you PM?  
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| Jun 20 @ 8:55 PM |
Why do people stray? |
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plowman
Posts: 1,283
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well, it a different sort of shock when they see's how pretty I am! 
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| Jun 20 @ 8:56 PM |
Why do people stray?
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willowy1
Posts: 9,192
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It's the pantyhose he wears on his noggin'
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| Jun 20 @ 9:03 PM |
Why do people stray? |
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plowman
Posts: 1,283
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yummy!
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| Jun 21 @ 10:16 PM |
Why do people stray?
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jdctx
Posts: 225
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Cheating is so common that the reasons have diluted to simple boredom.
To me it doesn't make any sense
it would seem if you don't want a serious monogomous relationship then don't
But while most seem to get "bored" rather easily we still want to lay calm to what we have.
This may be a stretch but I believe there is a link between material possesion and relationships.
We quickly get excited for that new product then the new and improved come and the previous verson seems old and dull.
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| Jun 24 @ 8:38 PM |
Why do people stray? |
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alaskenmike
Posts: 204
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Why do people stray?
"opportunity often makes a thief" ... I think it applies here very well. 
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| Jun 25 @ 10:32 AM |
Why do people stray?
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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If you saw the movie....
The seven-year itch
Meaning
The inclination to become unfaithful after seven years of marriage.
Origin
seven-year itchThe Seven Year Itch is best-known to us as the title of the 1955 film, starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell and directed by Billy Wilder. The plot of has Ewell's character working for a company that is about to publish a book suggesting that a many men have extra-marital affairs after seven years of marriage - called the "7-Year Itch". The film contains one of the most famous images in cinema history - Monroe's dress blowing up over a subway grating. That supposed urge for infidelity after seven years of marriage is the meaning we now have for this phrase. It is now often extended to refer to an urge to move on from any situation, and not even limited to those of seven years' duration.
Just an old saying I thought I'd share! 
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| Jun 25 @ 11:29 AM |
Why do people stray? |
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lj450
Posts: 9,550
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Some people are just born strays.
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