| Jun 27 @ 7:40 PM |
Financial Security
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jdctx
Posts: 225
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By far the overall make or break deal maker for a longterm/marriage that women seek.
Of course its more then that and I'm not saying that women dont seek other qualities but I cant think of anything that has been more important to women, nor have I ever seen or known any woman that it would not be the deal breaker or became the most sought after item in the break.
I am not saying that their are not women who are themselves finacially secure BUT that is not something that I have ever seen given up . In other words sure she may have more money then her husband but I only know of 1 woman who did not get a prenump on that.
In a twist to the normal she has to pay child support and alimony.. ( she married and divorced in Cali)
Gentlemen need to keep all this in mind. Especially now or when times get tough.
I'm sure I will get some justifications or disagreements or exception but I am certain there will be clause to the exceptions
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| Jun 27 @ 7:49 PM |
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chubs
Posts: 2,130
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well, don't cha know it costs money to find a new boyfriend?!!! 
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| Jun 27 @ 7:59 PM |
Financial Security
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,671
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Maybe in today's society it might be more prominent, but I don't feel it applies to all women .... and as far as relationships in the past ( the "old days" I guess you could say) I would agree even less .... people were more likely to stick to the "For better or worse" vow than they are today.
My opinions, anyway.
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| Jun 27 @ 8:19 PM |
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BandTMom
Posts: 37,948
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Gee, are you related to Capital. 
I am not interested in how much money he has. I am interested in him as a man. 
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| Jun 27 @ 10:00 PM |
Financial Security
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signme
Posts: 12,487
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I own my own house, and when I retire will be fairly comfortable. All I ask of a man is that he bring some kind of income into the mix. I'm not going to support someone who refuses to work, esp. since I've worked hard for what I have.
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| Jun 27 @ 11:23 PM |
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newlife2006
Posts: 866
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It's quite natural . Women are hardwired to care about their future children's
interests first and foremost. It would be irresponsible on a woman's part to
choose for her children a father who won't be able to provide for his family.
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| Jun 28 @ 1:14 AM |
Financial Security
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,623
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my husband has his 401 k which his ex wife got part of.. he has his retirement.. i have state retirement * that seems to be a joke.. he did put me on the 401 k and the retirement when he found out his ex would get them if anything happened to him .. we did do a prenupt the only thing on that is the house which stays in my name.. i asked and he sweetly agreed.. 
and i am retiring in 10 years at 63.. the good lord willing.. sweet N Louisiana
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| Jun 28 @ 10:15 AM |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Since I bring income into the home, I would expect him to do so also.
Nothing wrong with "financial security"....on either side.
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| Jun 28 @ 10:25 AM |
Financial Security
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Fender
Posts: 8,319
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I am not interested in any man just for money...However, I will not be the only one working...Been there, did that.
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| Jun 28 @ 11:08 AM |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,061
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 Fender
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| Jun 28 @ 12:04 PM |
Financial Security
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Fender
Posts: 8,319
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One more thing...Some men, just like some women...Enjoy being with those who make more money because they think they will be financially stable...When those relationships fall apart though, you will be back to broke...
My ex was a jerk...We had a beautiful home, vehicles, you name it...I'd rather be in a one room apt. with nothing and have myself be whole than have all of that 
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| Jun 28 @ 12:13 PM |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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I agree, Fender...
in fact I LET him keep the house and 5 vehicles when my marriage broke up, just so my kids didn't have to see worse fighting than there was 
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| Jun 28 @ 3:15 PM |
Financial Security
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jdctx
Posts: 225
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Fender that is great that you broke any dependence to your ex. because of the way things are in life to me that make you stronger then most people.
Loreli - you are one of best people I have seen on this board. you say what you think but your also kind and well meaning in your advice and thoughts. Its hard for me to imagine any man so cluesless as to not appreciate that.
I think its great that you put your kids above all the mess you went through.I see less and less of that to and it is ashame. More often I see to my surprise more woman wanting to surrender their kids to the father. Partying/Girls night out take prioity. video games, tv, day care, other childern, school, raise their kids.
Both you give great examples of how you can break unheathy dependacies
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| Jun 30 @ 5:56 PM |
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Fender
Posts: 8,319
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Thank you...I think that there are many men and women who go after mates with money...It's a shame...I can proudly say I'm not like that...
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| Jun 30 @ 6:26 PM |
Financial Security
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gabrielle
Posts: 63
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I don't see anything wrong with expecting both party's to contribute to the financial well being of a relationship. I was married to a man for almost 7 yrs and when I told him he could get a job or I'd file for divorce he told me I wasn't being fair with him.
Needless to say I'm single now and enjoying a far easier life without him dragging me down. I don't make a lot of money so it doesn't take much to be on an equal status with me. Type of job doesn't really matter as long as it's legal  If you're an adult that doesn't have a serious disability you are expected to contribute...plain and simple!
And it doesn't matter if it's a man or woman! It's just a part of life!
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| Jun 30 @ 6:48 PM |
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artcat7
Posts: 576
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I couldn't agree more with most of the posters that each person in the relationship should be contributing to their financial security. I must say though that money should not be a focus in the relationship.
After all it IS only paper! Anyone in a relationship ought to have similar goals and ideals about financial issues as well. It's really another form of compatibility. If the two are far apart in their stances then it will be a focus and a contentious issue in the relationship.
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| Jul 10 @ 9:19 PM |
Financial Security
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signme
Posts: 12,487
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Now it's a totally different situation if your SO loses his job and you end up as the sole bread-winner for a while. Key words being "for a while". In today's world, that is a situation that may come up. But I would hope my SO would keep looking for another job, even if he makes less than he was.
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