| Jul 12 @ 6:32 PM |
Serious question to MD members
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SAM450
Posts: 47
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Ive posted this on another board as well
Okay here goes.
There is this chick who ive known for the past 10 years or so, she is a very lovely person and am great friends with her.
The relationship is more like buddies and NOTHING more, nothing romantic from my side.. the reason being she is really not my type, i would never even consider otherwise,, She has in the past and a few times suggested that she is attracted to me and i jokingly passed it off as a joke..
2 days ago she announced that she is taking a ride over from upstate New York to come and meet me and stay over for 2 days, i said fine no problems,, she arrived yesterday and after dinner she started getting a little too close for comfort so at that time i said im pretty tired and went to my room and slept.
This morning we went outside for lunch and while we were riding the Bus or train she would sit right next to me and once she tried putting her head over my shoulder which in turn made me jump up and stand because i did get a feeling of revulsion. Even while walking she would walk very close as if she is my girlfriend and i felt very uncomfortable.
So that pretty much sums it up.
How do i tell her in a nice and polite manner to back off?
as this will ruin our friendship.
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| Jul 12 @ 6:40 PM |
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chubs
Posts: 2,592
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just tell her that in your book all your ever be is friends, and you don't want to ruin a good friendship with nasty ol' sex...she might get mad, but she will eventually get over and accept it...telling her straight up is better than letting her lead herself on about you two ever becoming lovers
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| Jul 12 @ 7:45 PM |
Serious question to MD members
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Jankia
Posts: 11,909
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I agree with chubs.The only way is to be upfront about your feelings to her the same as you were to us strangers... The relationship is more like buddies and NOTHING more, nothing romantic from my side.. the reason being she is really not my type
Just add to the last portion that she isnt your type "romanticly" but you do love your non-romantic friendship together.
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| Jul 12 @ 8:50 PM |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,413
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You don't have to say back off.
Just nicely tell her you don't see her that way (and perhaps would still like to hang out-if she's really smitten a CLEAN break would be best.)
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| Jul 12 @ 8:54 PM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Depends on how dumb or bright she is. She's told you in body language that she's interested in being more than friends, you've told her in the same language that you're not.
If she backs off, you're both still cool and you can be friends; if she doesn't and you say something, that's really not likely. Once you say it, you've humiliated her and friendship isn't really likely. JMHO, but keep speaking body language unless you're willing to give up on friendship...or start talking in generalities about how that goes - i.e. sometimes no matter how much you wish there could be a more intimate relationship, it isn't always possible...if you do it that way, hopefully she won't need a two by four to get the message.
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| Jul 12 @ 8:59 PM |
Serious question to MD members |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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She probably took your okay to stay over as the go sign.
In my book, always best to rip off the bandaid quickly.
If she's holding out hope that there could be something
between you, you have to nip it in the bud.
If you initiate communication, if you encourage her, she'll
keep thinking 'someday. ' Can't have it both ways. 
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| Jul 13 @ 8:21 PM |
Serious question to MD members
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SAM450
Posts: 47
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I tried talking to her in a very non direct way and didnt turn out very well, she had tears in her eyes and that made me feel like crap.
But at least she knows what the deal is now.
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| Jul 31 @ 9:26 AM |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,413
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Awww,
that always does hurt.
But I'm glad it is out in the open now.
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| Jul 31 @ 10:42 AM |
Serious question to MD members
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mortalez
Posts: 38
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Dude why do you keep giving this poor girl hope?
you are damaging her in ways that arent fair.
Geez this is why there are so many damaged people out there.
Plus this girl is into youand you dont want her? think back to your last shoot down and remember how it felt and think (do I want to put someone else through that).
Kindness is rewarded.
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| Jul 31 @ 3:17 PM |
Serious question to MD members |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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Well first off .....you blew your chance with her to get any good sex, so you might as well tell her that you see your current relationship with her as only a brother-sister type of relationship.
You could also tell her that you are really gay dude and that you just want her help you with your emotions because you haven't been getting penis lately.
Maybe she'll understand and want to be your buddy in a whole new light.
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| Jul 31 @ 5:07 PM |
Serious question to MD members
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signme
Posts: 12,588
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Always:  (I told you there'd be another time for this!)
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| Jul 31 @ 8:08 PM |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
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Tell her you refer to her as chick, shell change her mind about her feelings for ya soon enough
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| Jul 31 @ 11:53 PM |
Serious question to MD members
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77starshine
Posts: 22
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I don't know. You obviously feel uncomfortable. I don't know if there's any way to salvage the friendship, if you want to be hit on every time you see her.
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