| Aug 24 @ 3:17 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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The New York Times
Monday, August 24, 2009
Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
By John TierneyResearchers have debated for years whether men or women are likelier to engage in “mate poaching.” Some surveys indicated that men had a stronger tendency to go after other people’s partners, but was that just because men were more likely to admit engaging in this behavior? Now there’s experimental evidence that single women are particularly drawn to other people’s partners, according to a report in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology by two social psychologists, Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker of Oklahoma State University.Noting that single women often complain that “all the good men are taken,” the psychologists wondered if “this perception is really based on the fact that taken men are perceived as good.” To investigate, the researchers quizzed male and female undergraduates — some involved in romantic relationships, some unattached — about their ideal romantic partner. Next, each of the experimental subjects was told that he or she had been matched by a computer with a like-minded partner, and each was shown a photo of an attractive person of the opposite sex. (All the women saw the same photo, as did all the men.) Half of the subjects were told that their match was already romantically involved with someone else, while the other half were told that their match was unattached. Then the subjects were all asked how interested they were in their match. To the men in the experiment, and to the women who were already in relationships, it didn’t make a significant difference whether their match was single or attached. But single women showed a distinct preference for mate poaching. When the man was described as unattached, 59 percent of the single women were interested in pursuing him. When that same man was described as being in a committed relationship, 90 percent were interested. The researchers write: According to a recent poll, most women who engage in mate poaching do not think the attached status of the target played a role in their poaching decision, but our study shows this belief to be false. Single women in this study were significantly more interested in the target when he was attached. This may be because an attached man has demonstrated his ability to commit and in some ways his qualities have already been ‘‘pre-screened” by another woman. Well, that makes sense. But I asked Dr. Burkley, a professor of social psychology at Oklahoma State, if the correlation could also be due to another factor at work in some women: fear of intimacy. Could their interest in unavailable guys be what was keeping them single in the first place? Maybe, Dr. Burkley replied. “There are many possible explanations for our results,” she told me, “and future research needs to identify exactly why single women prefer taken men. Our lab is currently conducting studies to try and tease apart the different potential explanations for our findings, but your explanation seems quite plausible.” What’s your explanation? And do you have any data — anecdotal or otherwise — to offer?
 If I were to go to a pawn shop, and purchase a wedding band to flaunt, would that increase my chances of finding some booty in Seattle?
Any comments to the validity of the article?
Here is the specific reseach article again.
http://www.synergy-pr.com/files/JESP72009(1).pdf
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| Aug 24 @ 7:14 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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IMHO-
it's ridiculous.
I wouldn't want to have that happen to me, so I will not do it for someone else.
Why anybody would want to "fake" a marriage to "get some" is beyond me
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| Aug 24 @ 7:33 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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JenRNinOhio
Posts: 4,098
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Why would a man want a woman who had the
morals to go after a married man?
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| Aug 24 @ 8:58 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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lobo65
Posts: 719
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It's not cool for either sex to do it. I sure wouldn't. 
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| Aug 25 @ 1:57 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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Solitaire
Posts: 1,359
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Interesting premise. In the past I found that I was hit on more if I was at a function with a partner, than when alone. For myself, once I know someone is married or otherwise attached, it just sort of short circuits and I don't find them desirable.
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| Aug 25 @ 4:14 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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I've taken a closer look at that study (pdf) and I have determined that those women had the same "itch" that Eve had when she offered Adam a bite of the sinful apple.
Apple Pie anyone? 
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| Aug 25 @ 4:34 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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Quoted from published article:
single women often complain that “all the good men are taken”
Loreli asks:
Why anybody would want to "fake" a marriage to "get some" is beyond me
Logic indicates the reason..... To be a good man whom is highly desired and pursued by single women.
JenRNinOhio asks:
Why would a man want a woman who had the morals to go after a married man?
I'm guessing that men would prefer to be good and getting some action than bad and getting no action.
It kind of goes against the theory of the bad boy attraction to women.
After all..... if all the "Good" men are taken then what remains for those women? That's right....... bad guys.
Personally, I don't believe that women can ever be totally satisfied - Good or Bad man.
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| Aug 25 @ 7:02 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,031
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For myself, once I know someone is married or otherwise attached, it just sort of short circuits and I don't find them desirable.
I don't find this to be true.......
I have mostly male married friends. So if we go out together, and start a conversation with women, once they realize they are married, and I am single, they tend to pay more attention to the married guys.... Now, this is not for the purpose of sex per se, but I think if they think a guy is taken, they feel they can let down their defenses, but if they carry on a conversation with a single guy, ( maybe ) in the back of their mind they think they have to make a decision on whether they are being hit on...
I'm mostly guessing here, but I do understand part of this study.
Maybe it's the ............you only want what you can't have....... 
Maybe they just feel more relaxed during the conversation.....
I do think one of the biggest reasons most people are single is the anxiety involved in actually meeting someone. Seems the more natural, or relaxed the meeting, the better your chances. Just my thoughts.  
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| Aug 25 @ 7:31 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Personally, I don't believe that women can ever be totally satisfied
Ahhh, the age old conundrum, AS.  
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| Aug 25 @ 8:16 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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JenRNinOhio
Posts: 4,098
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I HAVE been totally satisfied.
Gawd, I miss that.
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| Aug 25 @ 9:07 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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katydid438
Posts: 8,019
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 Jen!!!  
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| Aug 25 @ 10:44 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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signme
Posts: 12,535
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Personally I wouldn't want an "attached" man. I won't even consider someone who declares himself separated. I'll take a single guy, thank you very much!
Now if I could just find one!
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| Aug 25 @ 11:21 PM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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katydid438
Posts: 8,019
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If it's meant to be,,,and I think it is,,,you'll find the right one for you Sign 
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? ..no I don't think so,,,,,,unfortunately it seems that sometimes the one that we are attracted to ends up to be married or in a relationship..........this happens with men also
But,, there are also sick individuals out there (male and female)that chase after "the taken" just to see if they have the "charm" to break up a relationship. They really don't want that person,,,just need to feel irresistable...it's a sickness JMHO
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| Aug 26 @ 12:40 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,600
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Different strokes and all that...I know a few women who prefer married men because they really don't want to get involved and being a piece on the side actually suits them.
Other women seem to look at a guy who's a really good husband and picture themselves happily married to someone like that, totally forgetting that if she can lure him away from his current situation, somebody else can do the same to her.
Again...
All in all, I'm with Soli and with Lori (as usual!)...if I find that a man's attached, it's just not gonna happen - whether it's morality, a sense of fairness and not wanting to do to others what was done to me, or just the simple logic that I'd only get hurt in the long run, I'm just no longer interested.
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| Aug 26 @ 2:14 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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willowy1
Posts: 9,181
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who wants a married man? They are all beat down and stuff.
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| Aug 26 @ 2:27 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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Hooks
Posts: 165
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Does this researcher own a bassboat and 4x4?
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| Aug 26 @ 2:29 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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willowy1
Posts: 9,181
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just the motor. 
Howdy Hooks 
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| Aug 26 @ 2:33 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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chubs
Posts: 2,452
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be careful, or ^ she will get her hooks into ya
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| Aug 26 @ 2:35 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
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willowy1
Posts: 9,181
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shut it chubward.
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| Aug 26 @ 2:37 AM |
Mate Poaching, Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? |
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chubs
Posts: 2,452
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 me and wills need to go to marrige 5 dot com
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