| Sep 30 @ 10:54 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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your_princess
Posts: 3,389
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I always find this interesting. Everyone always blames others for not being able to find the right one, there arent any good men/women out there anymore....its everyone else that is at fault, but themselves. Or is it YOU just royally suck in that department?? We see the same people online and off who can not seem to hold a relationship for the life of them for an extended amount of time.... Why??
I view it like not being able to keep a job for x amount of time...its always the boss is a dick, you did EVERYTHING you were supposed to ect.
I think to an extent, we all create our own destinies....
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| Sep 30 @ 11:16 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,491
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Well, I don't know if I'm still single solely because of me. I freely admit I am the reason I am single, and I'm the reason I haven't asked anyone else. That I haven't found anyone else I would want to marry is, again, definitely my choice, but I don't know that I can say that I am the only reason why I haven't found anyone else I would want to marry. There are a lot of factors that figure into what is a very nebulous equation that isn't as black and white as "Quit being a d*ck and you can find somebody."
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| Sep 30 @ 11:32 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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gunn12fan
Posts: 2,289
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could very well be 
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| Sep 30 @ 12:06 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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oct_cat
Posts: 1,374
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I first became single by choice. I've chosen to remain single because I like my life, and previously had not met a guy that I felt "fit" with me & enhanced my life. Now? Still single but in a serious & wonderful relationship which has added so much to my life.
If anyone ever claimed they have nothing to do with why they are single, I'd not believe it.
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| Sep 30 @ 1:00 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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Angel178
Posts: 36,285
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I absolutely agree that I'm the reason I'm still single. I do seem to be the common denominator in my past relationships. So, therefore, I am the reason.
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| Sep 30 @ 5:25 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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Jalon
Posts: 1,610
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How funny that the "married chick" posts this...no blame implied! 
I've thought of this subject many times and have even blogged to the same effect.
Why Are We Single
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| Sep 30 @ 6:25 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,676
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Yep ... I choose to be .... it's just never worked long term for me .... I guess there's no reason to think it will now.
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| Sep 30 @ 6:31 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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safaristars
Posts: 289
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I'm the reason I'm single ~ for several reasons. I won't allow myself to start a relationship with anyone who I'm not attracted to both mentally and sexually for starters. That rules out much of the single population ~ I guess I'm picky. To add to that ~ I don't frequent places where it's easy to meet new people. Combine that with having little free time while working and starting a business and this pretty much leaves online dating and grocery store encounters. The grocery store encounters have been humorous at best. Thank goodness for online dating ~ or I'd be a nun. LOL 
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| Sep 30 @ 6:33 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,676
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I know there's a "thump your melons in the produce section" joke in there somewhere ....
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| Sep 30 @ 7:13 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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your_princess
Posts: 3,389
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I've thought of this subject many times and have even blogged to the same effect.
you pretty much nailed it on the head in your blog to what i was thinking. I often think people have underlying personal issues that prevent them from getting past a certain point in a relationship...be it commitment phobia, control issues, personal insecurities ect. There are people who are so terrified of allowing someone else into their world and mind, that they sabatage the relationship before it really can even get started. They may have a very guarded heart, or may simply just not be interested in putting for the energy to put up with someone else's bullshit.
i do find it interesting how everyone who replied said they were the cause, but its because they "choose" to be. which for some may very well be true, they are just so tired of the dating game they are done...but i think for most thats probably not the case and its more of the above.
Sometimes it can be far easier ruining a relationship on your own terms than to have your heart ripped out later. I dont think this just applies to intimate romantic relationships, but everyday friendships as well.
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| Sep 30 @ 7:45 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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Jalon
Posts: 1,610
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Sometimes it can be far easier ruining a relationship on your own terms than to have your heart ripped out later.
Amen, Sistah...self sabotage is the way to go! 
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| Sep 30 @ 11:09 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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signme
Posts: 12,535
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm I've had the same job for 32 years, so I can't really compare being single to that! I do think sometimes I sabotage the relationship so I won't ultimately be hurt. But it's also hard to find someone near me who is a good fit. I live out in the country,the only single men out here are in their 80s! LOL Not quite the age range I'm looking for. There are several men here at MD I could be seriously interested in, but it would involve a long-distance relationship and until I retire at the end of this school year, I don't even have time for a mile-away relationship! But I still dream it could happen some day.
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| Sep 30 @ 11:33 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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minky
Posts: 261
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Of course I'm the reason. I choose not to stay in a relationship with a person who is wrong for me.
I think people are wise to be careful, I prefer single to miserable.
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| Sep 30 @ 11:46 PM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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notsoplain
Posts: 401
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I totally agree with Mink and I am miserably single.
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| Oct 1 @ 12:32 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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Say_Yes
Posts: 2,222
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In a word, yes. I am the reason that I am still single. I have been married and miserable before & I hope that I learned enough from that experience that I will not repeat it.
I believe that the leading cause of divorce is an ill advised marriage in the first place. When you settle for someone, you are doomed to end up in a relationship that is less than satisfying. No thanks.
That does not mean that I am not interested in being married. Nothing could be further from the truth, but I know what I want / need in a life partner and I refuse to settle for less. Been there, done that. So, until I find the woman that I want wake with every day for the rest of my life (and who wants to wake with me as well), I will remain single.
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| Oct 1 @ 12:49 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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redhairNfreckles
Posts: 4,664
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I have to say, yes it is. I was married for 30 years, happily, until the x had his midlife crisis and he's still in it....
I've been single since '97, and have been able to do more things on my own then I ever did while married. Who would think someone would get certified in scuba at age 50? Or get their first tattoo? Or ride fast motorcycles for hours at a time? Travel whenever I want?
Yes, I'm still single and have no plans to change any time soon....
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| Oct 1 @ 2:00 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,687
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I was single/ divorced for 9 years ..and didnt know i was litterally looking for the guy next door that I married a year ago.. i knew i wasnt gonna SETTLE..  Sweet N L
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| Oct 1 @ 4:03 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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Sternfan69
Posts: 15
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i am absolutely single by choice,,i never played well with the other children and still do not..
so how intuitive of you to write such an interesting,,and yet fairly obvious,,post..
i'm sure you were directing it towards the people who refuse to believe it could ever be there fault that there relationship failed...
of course,,if they can't see that in themselves,,do you really think they will be able to see it simply because you asked?
ignorance is bliss 
(i see you are married,,,,,come back in ten years and feel free to post why you are now single,,and you most likely will be,,,not being mean,,but the divorce rate would seem to indicate a less than stellar chance of you still being married in ten years,,,,but anything is possible )
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| Oct 1 @ 4:07 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single??
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SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,117
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Oh, definitely I am the reason I am single. I am not considering single as unmarried but not living with someone as well. I prefer to be single than taking whatever is offered. I did it differently and every time I am 'punished' for picking less than what I wanted. I took people that were not a match. Not going to do it again. I am happy with myself and I won't be with someone again that does not honor and respect my needs and choices the way I respect theirs.
I made foolish mistakes before. Naive. I expect everyone to be like me and that is just not true. They aren't. They won't be and if there is ever someone like me that is looking and we like each other enough to partner for the great adventure, then I will try it again. Til then, hey... do it my ownself.
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| Oct 1 @ 6:03 AM |
are YOU the reason you're still single?? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,491
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Yeah, going back to the OP, my problem is definitely not that I cannot hold a relationship for any period of time. I've had jobs for several years at a time (up to 10) that I only left because the place I was working closed or moved. And I was married for 28 years. Despite the fact that my best friend lives 700 miles from me and has for many years now, we're still best friends and have been for almost 40 years, now.
I've had periods between long-term job commitments where I moved around a bit, in search of a better "fit." Which is kind of where I am in terms of relationships at the moment. I'd rather be alone than with someone for the wrong reasons, or in a relationship where I am not satisfied and don't feel I can satisfy her. It's not that there aren't any good women out there. There are lots of good women out there, but they're just not a good fit for me. Nor I for them.
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