| Jan 15, 2006 @ 10:26 PM |
what do we really want?
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lah22_2000
Posts: 11
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When I came up to Washington I was given a lecture by my baby sister about what I needed. She told me that I needed to advertise for a friend, nothing more. Someone to go out to a movies or have a discussion with.
The other day I read a thread about disappointments because what is wanted is not clearly stated. If you want one thing and post another, then of course you will be disappointed.
Here is the kicker. I posted for a friend, and most of the time I've had one encounter with a guy who says wonderful words about me, then never comes back. I didn't post for sexual encounters, even though I want intimacy. Yet that seems to be what I am getting.
So my question really is what difference does it make to say what you want when the other person doesn't really seem to care.
I am intelligent, caring, and loving. I want someone to cuddle beside and hold me. I want a friend to call in the middle of the night when I am sad. I want all the wonderful sensations that intimacy affords. I want honesty. I don't play games, so I don't want them played on me.
I don't want one night stands filled with bulls**t comments. So what should I do?
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| Jan 15, 2006 @ 10:52 PM |
what do we really want? |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,462
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Do no thing and quietly wait for the one who is meant for you.
If someone responds to you without regard to what it is you've stated you are looking for, or are only looking for a one night stand or whatever, do not respond in turn.
Respond only to what concerns your needs.
You know what you need. Know that you can have what you need.
Blessings
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| Jan 15, 2006 @ 10:58 PM |
what do we really want?
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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And for God's sake, don't take advice from the babysitter.
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 12:46 AM |
what do we really want? |
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,124
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what do we really want.. well shoot for me.. after almost 7 years divorced and get really tired of the dating go round.. but wont settle..  i want just one good man.. to love me for me and hmm hes honest, romantic, passionate, loves country music as much as i do.. and wants to share a lifetime of love and devotion.. Sweet N Louisiana 
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 2:16 AM |
what do we really want?
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Latitude45
Posts: 35
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I am intelligent, caring, and loving. I want someone to cuddle beside and hold me. I want a friend to call in the middle of the night when I am sad. I want all the wonderful sensations that intimacy affords. I want honesty. I don't play games, so I don't want them played on me.
Just say that. It's not guarantee, but it's a start.
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 6:56 AM |
what do we really want? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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Here is the kicker. I posted for a friend, and most of the time I've had one encounter with a guy who says wonderful words about me, then never comes back. I didn't post for sexual encounters, even though I want intimacy. Yet that seems to be what I am getting.
 I think everyone gets those kind of emailz lah22..just don`t let it bother you..ignore..their not worth your time..sooner or later the one your looking for will come along.. 
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 9:59 AM |
what do we really want?
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Kat_luvr
Posts: 716
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I put out front---->>>Read My Profile.....I have the same problem. I state I want a friend.. I like the human touch, (affection), but i am not looking to settle down....And you know what? I still get guys who want a one on one.. or that smoke, or want one-nighters.....I hate waking up coyote ugly..... When we start emailing or chatting, I ask them upfront did you read my profile??? ....To which I usually get a "yea"...but I remind them again anyway...."So you know I am not a barbie doll and I am not looking to get remarried yet.. right?".. --->>> That is the maker or breaker... usually the breaker...( b/c they didnt read) ...... hang in there... I know there is somone for all of us.....
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 10:24 AM |
what do we really want? |
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altogirl67
Posts: 1,309
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lah22... sometimes people don't even read your profile. Some people want to make a comment and so they email you but are not interested in actual conversation... strange but true. Try not to worry about it. In my experience, only a very small percentage of the mail any of us get is from people who are serious in their quest for a mate or friend. Just delete the others (block them if you have to), and remain hopeful. Also, try other venues where you can meet people face to face... join a club, go to church, whatever you can find.
GOOD LUCK!!!!! 
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 11:28 AM |
what do we really want?
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,462
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lah22_2000
I get e-mails all the time from men who clearly have not read my profile in terms of what I am seeking....they are looking for a one night stand or "initmate activities" or whatever but it is stunningly obvious that they didn't read my profile, not a word of it, except perhaps notice my user name.
Accordingly, I do not respond in turn. I often delete them or report them if they are simply soliciting for sex.
Like Tink said, don't let it bother you. If you need to delete them or report them do so.
Someone eventually will honestly read your profile, resonate with it and respond to it with sincerity.
Hang in there
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 12:03 PM |
what do we really want? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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Yes just don`t let it bother you..
Like yesterday I got an email from a guy comparing me to his Mother  ..I ignored it... 
Another that said and I Quote "You sure ain`t the best looker.. ..now those I ignored..what an insult..
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 1:44 PM |
what do we really want?
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lexx234
Posts: 24
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I just want to be happy.....
In a moderate sort-of way
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 10:48 PM |
what do we really want? |
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Connal
Posts: 3
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Well I'll tell you what it is that "I" really want.
I'm 21 years old, and a college student. Do I want sex? Yeah it would be nice. Not the only thing on my mind though.
I want a girl that is smart but not so smart that she has to correct every single person on pronounciation, or life in general.
She has to be funny, and silly. I need someone that I can laugh with. I don't want a girl that can't see the humor in life. I think people that can't see the humor, are just dead inside.
She needs to be compassionate. My favorite relationship memory was with one of my worst relationships. When she was sober she was so sweet we would hold eachother and she would play with my hair and tell me how great I was.
She shouldn't be so stressed that every small detail will set her off. One of my ex's was so uptight and jumpy about everything that she once broke a shoe string and cried because she didn't know what she was going to do about shoes.
She shouldn't place too much stock in what is normal. I don't want a girl that expects the whole "dinner and a movie" thing. I like to be spontaneous and do some crazy things. I'm not saying skydiving, but maybe instead of dinner and a movie, a picnic lunch, and a paddle on the lake.
Is this too much to ask for? Maybe all at once, but it seems the only people I attract are either in their late forties and just want "some young stud" or are guys and just want . . . well I won't even go into detail.
Apparently though there is no one out there that falls into that category, at least no one I've found yet.
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 11:03 PM |
what do we really want?
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sureyacan125
Posts: 187
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Connal, you are indeed a class act. Good for you. 
You are young and it will happen in it's own time. In the meantime, bethe person you are meant to be..... 
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| Jan 16, 2006 @ 11:04 PM |
what do we really want? |
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Connal
Posts: 3
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Thanks for the hope. By the way, awesome bike. 96 intruder 1400 is waiting for the snow to melt. Havn't had her out all season.
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| Jan 17, 2006 @ 12:44 AM |
what do we really want?
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LatinButterfly
Posts: 687
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lah22:
Hang in there, it's a known fact most guys go by the pic and DON'T read our profiles, some guy posted here in the forum that most just read the "intro" part... , it's the downside to this I guess but NOT all are like that, some do read it.
Connal:
You sound like such a nice young man if you lived around here I'd recommend you with my daughter who's your age and also a MD member. So your day will come, just don't settle for any more problem girls please! 
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| Jan 17, 2006 @ 2:08 AM |
what do we really want? |
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airbrushbabe
Posts: 43
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Gosh you have such a great smile Latitude. You could light up NYC.
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| Jan 17, 2006 @ 2:15 AM |
what do we really want?
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airbrushbabe
Posts: 43
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One of my ex's was so uptight and jumpy about everything that she once broke a shoe string and cried because she didn't know what she was going to do about shoes.
Ha ha Deja vu to Tanya Harding at the Olympics..
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| Jan 17, 2006 @ 3:12 AM |
what do we really want? |
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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Maybe I'm a bit of a pessimist, but when I signed up on MD I had few expectations of meeting that one right person or even a reasonable facimile. My position was that if it happened, great. If not, then I really had not lost anything.
I've been very fortunate that the majority of the mail I've received has been nothing but positive, and never overtly suggestive or rude. If someone hasn't read my profile, it's a bit of a litmus test, and indicator not to spend much time on this individual and move on.
My advice is to keep your hopes high, your expectations low and just keep plugging along...all good things take time, patience and practice.
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| Jan 17, 2006 @ 3:58 AM |
what do we really want?
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spicygamble
Posts: 462
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I won't speak for anyone else, but I know what I want.
I also know what I don't want. That doesn't mean I know exactly what "the guy" looks like, drives & makes a year. If you know that, you scare me. Oddly enough, because you're likely to get on some other site & get what you want.
The way this system works takes some getting used to, that's all. There are tons(did I say tons, I meant gabillions) of men online, there are fewer women comparatively. Once you skim away the doodoos, the illiterate, the obvious scammers, the pranksters & this week's playgirl photo using guests... it seems a bit narrow. *sigh... You just have to use your best judgement(aka, look out for "red flags").
Just think of this as a bar. You have lots of guys who look at your image, some are not seeing you clearly, some are confused(ok, many are), but it's not until the lights come on that you see who you're dealing with...and with a bit of time, you get peel away that fancy presentation to see who's underneath it.
Remember, for every guy who sends out a confusing message there was plausibly one who was confused by you.
It's human nature & it's why we get to be selective.
:)
[Edited on 1/17/2006 3:59 AM]
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| Jan 17, 2006 @ 1:44 PM |
what do we really want? |
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soultry_one
Posts: 129
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I want a lover and a best friend. He's smart,has a sense of humor that is good natured,not mean-spirited,but silly. We don't have to have all the exact same interests,or even have to agree about everything,just the important stuff; Someone who is very positive,and sees the bright side most of the time,who can find good things in any situation;he has a brain and an imagination,loves kids,animals,fellow humans,is weet,kind,loving.
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