| Oct 22 @ 8:12 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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Aligirl22
Posts: 12
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My boyfriend of 3 months is an ex-con he was locked up for 3 years and is on parole till 2012. He is still adjusting to life outside prison. We are madly in love we live together and want to start a family soon. He works part-time and goes to school fulltime. I dont have a job and havent had one in almost a year, i have about 20k worth of debt at this point schools loans and credit cards....the monthly payments would make us homeless about 300-350/month and he makes about 600 a month at work and our rent is 450 a month. If i were to get a job about 64% of my bi-weekly paycheck would be taken without me even seeing it for up to 10 years. We live in a trailer park and we someday want our own house once he is done with school hopefully he will get a good paying job. He loves taking care of me and wants me to be happy, so he doesnt mind being the bread winner for the household.
But my question is am i setting myself up for disaster?
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| Oct 22 @ 8:44 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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nickelbag
Posts: 33
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Did you ever intend on paying back the loans? why havn't you worked in over a year? The monthly income is $600, below poverty and you are actually considering starting a family  . Are you seriously asking this or just one of your random thoughts you have by sitting around on your ass all day  .
Get a job, be productive, pay your bills then think about children way off in the future.
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| Oct 22 @ 8:58 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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Aligirl22
Posts: 12
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I have been spending 40 hours a week searching for work in Kalamazoo,MI a college town college student are even leaving the state looking for work! Even people who have had jobs for 30 years are being laid off and are forced to rely on unemployment or work in fast food/retail! We have the worst economy in all the 50 states and we cannot leave this state until he is off parole. I am not anywhere near "lazy" i cook,clean and look for work everyday. I am working with 4 unemployment agencies an have had no luck. I tried paying back my loans then i lost my job and could no longer afford the monthly payments.
Oh and the reason we are wanting children sooner rather than later is because i have ovulation issues and they will continue to get worse as i age, plus he has fertility issues as well which will continue to get worse as he ages.
I dont understand why people have to be so harsh and rude!
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| Oct 22 @ 9:07 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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1RockinDude
Posts: 9,130
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Nothing in life comes free. You have to sometimes work jobs that you hate. But it is still a job. And after just dating a very short time..No way would I consider bringing in a new life in the world. And being in more, and more in debt. Without means to care for a child. The way they should be.
Sometimes you have to take care of yourself. Before considering taking care of others.
No job is shameless, as long as you are earning a paycheck. And paying back your 20k debt. And getting your finaces back on track.
Good luck
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| Oct 22 @ 9:08 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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nickelbag
Posts: 33
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oh sugar, i live in flint and i know about the unemployment rate up here in michigan. even if you got a job flipping burgers at $7/hour= would atleast help pay the loans off or put food on the table while you continue to look for a better job. There is being rude and being honest, now look at your situation..Look very hard, do you think bringing children into your home at this point is such a good idea obviously you have doubts or you wouldn't have posted the question..YES your setting yourself up for disaster. The monthly income is 600.00 coming in, how are you both surviving?
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| Oct 22 @ 9:10 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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You both need to be working to pay off your debt. It is highly unlikely that your credit will be approved for a home loan considering the fact that you have substantial debt. You don't need a credit card. I think that it is best for you to become a roomate with other people in a house or apartment with afordable rent until you can pay down that debt..... which is going to be quite a long time.
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| Oct 22 @ 9:23 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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Aligirl22
Posts: 12
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i have applied at mcdonalds 5 times in the last 6 months with no response even walmart is not hiring.....it will take us atleast a few years to get pregnant seeing as he has fertility issues....we are on some assistance for food or else we would be starving...look i wrote this to get outside perspective not be bashed thats all.
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| Oct 22 @ 9:43 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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nickelbag
Posts: 33
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I have never known a mcdonalds or a walmart not to be hiring just because of the high turnover rate of employee's. Sounds like maybe your doing the bare mininnum to keep your foodstamps rolling in  ..and your welcome. The quicker you quit looking for excuses and placing blame, then things will hopefully turn around for you, good luck.
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| Oct 22 @ 9:54 AM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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Aligirl22
Posts: 12
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im sick of the rudeness......maybe u should take ur head outta ur ass u are making good money and are upper class u have no clue what it is like having very very little.... bare minimum for what? i could be working up to 30 hours and still get the same amount in food stamps.....im not making excuses are u out with me everyday looking for work? NO so u dont know how hard and tiring it is! I have no experience in retail or food i have experience with children,elderly and animals but those fields work is hard to come by when u only have a high school diploma and my work history. In 2 years i had 11 different job due to turnover and getting fired(due to downsizing). I could sell stuff(i used to sell cutco cutlery) but who is gonna buy anything in this economy?
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| Oct 22 @ 12:51 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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gunn12fan
Posts: 2,289
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You can only do your best..no one here is trying to be rude or disrespectful to you..
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| Oct 22 @ 12:54 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,687
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aligirl you have had some good advice from the people here.. and your student loans will Block any credit.. and so will that other credit card debts you havent paid.. and is he on parole or probation or both.. and it depends what he was locked up for.. and who hes hangin with and if he is staying out of trouble.. dont say i dont know about your " situation" because beleive me i do.. because of what someone else that is/ was in your shoes.. good luck on the job thing.. but i would hold off on the baby thing too Sweet N Louisiana
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| Oct 22 @ 1:08 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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nickelbag
Posts: 33
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i could be working up to 30 hours and still get the same amount in food stamps.....
yet instead of out looking for work your on this site{all day} feeling sorry for yourself. I don't mind helping those who want to improve themselves. My problem is when my tax dollars get sent to people that are more than able to work but choose not to, for whatever reason  .
I find it hard to believe that you havn't been able to find any kind of work after looking for a year....I ain't buying that but i will be buying your groceries 
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| Oct 22 @ 4:34 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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Aligirl22
Posts: 12
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people are being disrespectful. He is has been staying out of trouble he cleaned up his act and is paying his dues. Oh and another thing i have 9 tattoos so alot of places will not hire me because i have ones that show(parents paid for them). Well im sure u have a degree right? i mean u work in real estate? Just because i check my computer doesnt mean im not running around looking for work cause i come home to eat. I have been on food assistance for maybe 6 months now i plan to get off it as soon as im able. I have only been on my own for 6 months before then i was living off of my parents but im trying to be more self reliant now.
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| Oct 22 @ 4:40 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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gunn12fan
Posts: 2,289
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ok you just have yourself in over your head if you didn't want the advise why did you ask the question seeking it makes no since
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| Oct 22 @ 5:00 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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oct_cat
Posts: 1,374
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have about 20k worth of debt at this point schools loans when u only have a high school diploma Nothing to show for having school loans???
My boyfriend of 3 months . . . we live together . . . He loves taking care of me and wants me to be happy, so he doesnt mind being the bread winner for the household . . . have only been on my own for 6 months before then i was living off of my parents but im trying to be more self reliant now On your own for 6 months, living with your bf of 3 months who is the breadwinner, but you're trying to be self-reliant; yet have had 11 jobs in 2 yrs . . .
And you want to have kids??????? 
Stupid is as stupid does --Forrest Gump
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| Oct 22 @ 5:09 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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fromscratch
Posts: 547
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This is too much..... 
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| Oct 22 @ 5:16 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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oct_cat
Posts: 1,374
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This is too much Well, at least she put a pic up. Usually the 'one hit wonders' go pictureless!!
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| Oct 22 @ 5:22 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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fromscratch
Posts: 547
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lmao......Good point oct_cat . At first i thought maybe it was a joke takin way to far but the sad conclusion>>>>> she is serious and wanting to breed
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| Oct 22 @ 5:28 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster?
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fromscratch
Posts: 547
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My boyfriend of 3 months is an ex-con he was locked up for 3 years and is on parole till 2012.
+
We live in a trailer park
= A very good episode on the next "cops show
[Edited on 10/22/2009 5:29 PM]
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| Oct 22 @ 5:28 PM |
Setting myself up for disaster? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,285
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because i have ovulation issues he has fertility issues
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