Free Dating
search My Threads  

Main    Dating & Romance   

Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?


Apr 8, 2010 @ 5:31 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
I met a man online last November 2009 who lives thousands of miles away. I fell deeply in love with this man. I truly believe he is or was my soulmat. The love I feel for him is so deep in my soul that it's hunting. He has made me to believe in HOPE and DREAMS. He calls me Angel, and also his wife. He is coming to the states in a couple of weeks. I'm truly beside myself with excitement and uncontrollable joy.
I have over 365 emails that I have saved from him. Before him I had no reason to wake up in the morning. I know sounds sad, but it is true. Since meeting him, I awake with a smile, go through my day with a smile, and fall a sleep with a smile, the whole time thanking GOD for bringing this man into my life , and allowing me to experience a love I have never experience before.

This is the thing. A few months ago he asked me to do something that I was not comfortable with. Again, just a few days ago he asked if I would lend him money. Because I did'nt he told me I was making a fool out of him and that I did'nt love him. Mind you he is spending over $3000 dollars to come here. We will be staying at a hotel for 2 weeks.

He wants to marry me. He told me that when he leaves , he expects me to pack my bags and move to his country to become his wife in 4 weeks . I spoke to his 20 year old son many times and he calls me step mum.

I love this man so much and have open my heart, mind and soul to him. I'm so cloudy by this love I can't think straight Please, please help me to make sense of this. .

Hopelessly in love
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 8, 2010 @ 5:38 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
Loreli


Posts: 31,993
I'm sorry sweetie, but only 5 months and hopelessly in love with one you've never met? Who wants to borrow money? Who hasn't spent any to visit yet?
How does he know you will be happy in his country?

I'm sorry....something doesn't jive....
post reply view Loreli's threads
Apr 8, 2010 @ 5:42 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
Hi,

Yes I have the itenary for his flight and also the reservation for the hotel. Which he has paid for.
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 8, 2010 @ 6:43 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 10,916
I'm in an international relationship too, and nothing like this has ever happened in mine.

Check him out. Google his name and see if he, by any chance, comes up on a scammer list.
post reply view LipGlossQueen9's threads
Apr 8, 2010 @ 6:45 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
gypsy29


Posts: 1,965
Have you ran a credit check on him??? If he loves you and you love him, then there should be no problem with him giving you the information needed. You should also do a criminal background check, while your at it.

And love or no love.... take care of yourself!!!!! Be safe! When it comes right down to it, people can say anything online and you have no way to prove what is the truth or not......

I have to agree that something sounds fishy...... check out the situation more carefully. Not that it can't happen, I just really worry about the rest of the story.
post reply view gypsy29's threads
Apr 8, 2010 @ 6:53 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BandTMom


Posts: 38,514
Again, just a few days ago he asked if I would lend him money. Because I did'nt he told me I was making a fool out of him and that I did'nt love him. Mind you he is spending over $3000 dollars to come here. We will be staying at a hotel for 2 weeks.

Sorry, but this is a scam. That's the way they get you. If you give him money, you'll never hear from him again....IMO.

Anyone can make up an itinerary. It really doesn't mean it's bought and paid for.....or it can be refunded.

Run and don't look back.
post reply view BandTMom's threads
Apr 8, 2010 @ 7:06 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
newlife2006


Posts: 2,103
Now, that's rather simple case , it's the oldest dating SCAM known to womankind ... ( BTW, in European literature "marriage "proposal" conman" is one of the most popular comedy character ... )
Just express you concern about his financial difficulties and ask him to CANCEL his trip. Tell him you already have booked YOUR trip to his country , " since you cannot stand causing him expenses". Tell him "you cannot wait to see him and his lovely son" welcoming you at the airport. Make your "departure" really soon - like this coming weekend.
Then sit back and watch the reaction...
In unlikely case of genuine "monetary impotence" the guy will be actually relieved to save on his plane ticket and glad he can use the money on entertaining you in his country - congratulations, you can go forward with the trip. Your money would be better spent on your vacation abroad than on lining stranger's pockets anyway.
But more often than not your suggestion to come over causes LOTS of bitching from frustrated scammer. That's the moment of truth - their manners drop immediately and real colors emerge ...
(You'd better brace yourself for rather unpleasant experience, all this hate mail usually gets quite ugly, he'll be insulting you and accusing you of "not loving him" in the same sentence sometimes ... )
Oh , and , just in case the guy turns out just fine but you cannot afford the trip at the moment for any reason - just tell him there has been an emergency and suggest you two make plans for delayed trip - preferably someplace neutral , you know - halfway from both of your places. That would be the best way to get together. Besides , this option won't provide him any excuse for further money demands.
post reply view newlife2006's threads
Apr 8, 2010 @ 8:24 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
Snappygoddess


Posts: 5,740
IF he is on the up and can afford to pay $3,000. for the trip then why does he need to get money from you? Listen to the good advice here and check this guy out BEFORE you do anything else!

Hope you will be smart and save yourself some grief and money
post reply view Snappygoddess' threads
Apr 8, 2010 @ 9:40 PM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
CaptainFlea


Posts: 5,271
If he really loves you, and he is not a scammer, he will understand that you don't want to give money to someone you have never met in person.
The fact that he responded the way he did, sounds very scammer like to me.
Minimum basic rule, don't give money to anyone you have not known for a long time, much less never met in person.

And what's the deal about having 4 weeks to move to his country?
Sounds a bit controlling to me.

Tons of red flags here, he is most likely a con artist.

Finally, don't give him money and be very weary.

post reply view CaptainFlea's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 12:22 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
ForumMod


Posts: 1,902
do. not. send. him. money. for. any. reason!!!

overseas scammers are the bane of the internet. they're often very smooth talkers and can produce any (fake) document you ask for.

if he is for real and actually shows up, still don't give him money. as far as marriage goes, check the immigration laws right now. it's not as simple as people lead others to think.

please, please use extreme caution. the 'professionals' prey on vulnerable people (both women and men) thru 'love', flattery, intimidtion and guilt.
post reply view ForumMod's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 1:16 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
Angel54214


Posts: 22,374
Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?

Yes! Absolutely! meeting someone online is NOT a relationship! Scammers do this all the time to get MONEY. They will groom you with mushy words...remember, they are just words being typed by actors to get your MONEY. They create a scheme and target the emotional vulnerable hearts...

Demand to see him on webcam...I bet he will say he doesn't have one. Have you talked to HIM on the phone? Have you traced the phone number to see where the actual calls come from? Have you thought that the son can be a partner in crime? (foreign money launders work in groups and not alone). Have you googled his email addy? Have you googled anything he gives you in his name?

People do not marry someone they never met in person!

He has no intention of traveling thousands of miles that takes thousands of dollars for the whole round trip including bringing you back to his country (where ?). Are you aware of the fake hotel software these scammers create and thus, create their own hotel reservations...LOL.

What about your children? Are you willing to leave them here and risk the possibility of being a victim of "Human Traffiking"? And they never see you again?

Are you familiar with the Nigeria 419 romance money scammers?

If I were you....Tell him you and your brother who (works in government federal security) discussed all this and he said take a hike or he will meet you with his team at the border!

Answer this question...Would you hand a "Stranger" your credit card??

post reply view Angel54214's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 1:21 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
signme


Posts: 16,691
Someone I know well thought she was in "love" with someone on the internet. She kept telling me how he was the one. T hey had not yet met in person but had exchanged emails and phone calls. But things didn't work out once they met in person. This fortunately was not a scam but the chemistry was just not there. There were things that had not been shared over the phone or in the emails that made the situation impossible.
Be very careful. Follow the advice of the other posters. Most have been online for quite a while and know what they are talking about.
Please keep us posted on what happens.
post reply view signme's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 2:11 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
Thank you I will goggle his name. I understand that there are scammers on this site as well as others. I hope how ever reads my forum don't that I am nieve. Because I'm not.

Like everyone here, I'm looking for a life partner, but would never give up money to man who ask for it. I don't know if he testing me or what. I do know it's not fair to me.

Again thank you and keep the post coming.

GOD BLESS
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 2:14 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
Thank you. I will check him out. That is why I am having him stay at a hotel. I will be safe and have friends that will have all information on the hotel and everything.

post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 2:16 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
Smiling. I will have my law enforcement friend check him out. Also I spoke to a guy in a forum in his country. He has given me his number and he is doing investigation for me as well.
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 2:19 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
That sounds like a good ideal. I will let him now this evening and see how he feels about the situation. Thank so very much on your insight in the delicate matter.
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 2:22 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
Thank you very much. I have not given him any money, and will not in the future. All the expenses his coming out of his wallet. Im just wondering if this is a test. But at any rate I will be careful.
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 2:23 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
Thanks Captain. Always need a mans point of view.
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 2:24 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
I will thank you.
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Apr 9, 2010 @ 2:30 AM Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?    
BooBaby


Posts: 28
Yes I have spoken to him via phone and it is from his country. No I would never give a stranger my credit card. I have contacted the hotel to confirm the reservation. And it is real. He sent me all the info.

But I do here where all of you are coming from. As I stated I have friends who are going to be staying at the hotel as well for a few days. Just to be safe. Also they will invite us to some gatherings.

Thanks again
post reply view BooBaby's threads
Main    Dating & Romance    Should I raise a red flag in my online relationship?

mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2018 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02