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Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?


Jan 20, 2006 @ 4:24 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
manchild17


Posts: 29
The biggest thing that bugs me about women is the fact they can't say 'sorry but i am not interest in you'. And I am not talking about when you send an email or wink. I am refering to when you meet up somewhere and you think and her hit it off. Then after the 2nd date or so, she is 'busy all the time'. I know she changed her mind but why can't you say 'sorry I am not interested in you'. I take that rejection better then not knowing if she is really busy. LOL, this one girl was a teacher and had a lot of stuff to afterschool. So basically I couldn't tell if she was really busy or not. I shrugged it off as rejection and never call her back.

It is funny because I can see the other viewpoint. Last night, I met up some girl for coffee. She had a cold personality. I wasn't really attracted to her both physically and other. I know she might have nerves but really I don't see us going on a 2nd date. Though I feel that I should at least send her an email saying that I am not really interested just so she won't be waiting for a phone call.


wierd!
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 4:38 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
danae74


Posts: 601
I guess it's just a difference in relating styles between men and women, or something. If guys would start just saying "Okay! Had a nice time!" when women said "I'm not interested in you" then things might be different. But they don't. If a woman is honest and says just that, men almost invariably come back and say "Why not? What did I do wrong?"

Do you really want to know? Do you really want a girl to tell you something silly like, "You had on a shirt from Ohio State, and I had a very bad experience there once, and it just turned me off." Or something personal like, "You have the worst teeth I've ever seen, and I'm not taking you out in public, not with me!" Or...what?

Trust me, sometimes it's best to just disappear, especially if a girl can tell upfront that a man is the clingy type who will prod her for answers and demand explanations. I don't mean to sound bitchy, but the only person I owe that kind of explanation to is the man I marry!

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Jan 20, 2006 @ 4:45 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
mangolover60


Posts: 487
I had a girl once tell me I "looked like a Martian with my haircut."

I asked my terripan what that meant, and he said that she didn't want to see me again. Oh

I haven't cut my hair since.


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Jan 20, 2006 @ 4:52 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
danae74


Posts: 601


Mango, so that means you're for us telling you why? The problem is, a woman's impression of a man is a gestalt sort of thing...the hair was probably just the only tangible thing she could find (glad she said it though...yours looks great long.) Trust me guys, you do not want to try to unravel the maze of what goes on in our minds regarding these things...
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 4:57 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
CynCity


Posts: 535
I absolutely agree with Danae. Simply saying you are not interested will invariably result in questions, questions and more questions. Before you know it, you are explaining yourself to the nth degree, sometimes having to justify why you aren't interested and occasionally fending of aggression, simply because you weren't interested.

I think we'd all like to do the right thing and simply say, "thanks, but no thanks". But experience has taught many of us it's not only ineffective, but sometimes downright difficult and too disturbing to simply tell the truth.

My question is, why can't people just accept "I'm not interested".
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 5:12 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
Thor1960303


Posts: 3,042
My question is, why can't people just accept "I'm not interested".

******************

I can.If a woman simply said,"I'm not interested",I would probably respond with a "Thank you for telling me".Then I would move on,no sense in beating a dead horse.

I prefer straight up communication,even if it's negative.If I want mystery,I'll read a Sherlock Holmes story.
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 5:20 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
sureyacan125


Posts: 187
manchild....................Trust me on this. I am NOT interested!
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 5:27 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
manchild17


Posts: 29
it is odd, i don't mind telling women that I am not interested. I am just not sure if that is mean
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 5:29 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
wandaful123


Posts: 1,695
I would prefer to be told and agree with the other ladies, would be nice to tell someone the same without the third degree.
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 5:49 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
Thor1960303


Posts: 3,042
would be nice to tell someone the same without the third degree.

*******************

Then how about this:You be straight up and tell them EXACTLY why you aren't interested.If they get mad,oh well,they'll get mad anyway if you ignore them.Then you can go your way and if they persist,they become stalkers.There are laws against this and you can take measures to keep them away.Either way you go,you will most likely NOT have this person as a friend,so really what does it matter.Just state your piece,offer NO debate and go your way.
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 6:23 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
spongebob777


Posts: 6,918
I wouldn't blame yourself man. Chances are it doesn't have anything to do with you. Sometimes it's all about timing. Women are screwy critters. Sometimes they run screaming at the first sign of feelings (most common among men)

Personally I would rather know why. If not for her, then for me. Knowing is growing.
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 8:57 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
Thor1960303


Posts: 3,042
Personally I would rather know why. If not for her, then for me. Knowing is growing.

*******************

Absolutely. These ladies who refuse to come out and say they're not interested and why are not doing these guys or any other women they may contact any favors.Men generally have one shot to try to see if the woman is interested and usually a woman knows within five minutes or less if she's going to be interested.If he's screwed the pooch on his attempt,he will never know what he did wrong and he will keep making the same mistakes over and over.
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:05 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
waiting41


Posts: 1,769
I totally agree that honesty is the best policy in these situations.
We aren't responsible for each others feelings. People own thier own feelings.
Sometimes it's just a chemistry thing. Sometimes the truth hurts. We grow through pain.

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Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:08 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
spongebob777


Posts: 6,918
Sometimes pain is food for the soul and I'm thinking of putting mine on a treadmill and a diet.
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:15 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
waiting41


Posts: 1,769
I just get tired of "letting go" sometimes.
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:16 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
AngelLight


Posts: 5,159
I agree it is good to be honest and tell someone you're not interested. Even though the truth may hurt, it is not mean unless what is said is said in a cruel way.

And since I don't believe in the need for cruelty, state the truth kindly yet directly, and the truth will set you both free.
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:24 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
waiting41


Posts: 1,769
The truth shall set you free........my favorite saying.

Hi Angel Hope your oatmeal was yummie!
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:34 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
RAKS37


Posts: 544
The truth shall set you free


but first it will p1ss you the hell off
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:36 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
waiting41


Posts: 1,769
Raks, is there something you would like to say?
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Jan 20, 2006 @ 9:38 PM Is it mean to say 'I am not interest' or just not to say anything?    
RAKS37


Posts: 544
.
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