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Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles


Jan 25, 2006 @ 2:53 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
sapphireblues


Posts: 37
Just wondering what things you see in profiles that you consider "red flags" and make you say "pass."

Also, what tired cliches are you tired of seeing in profiles? And how do you decipher what they really mean? What makes you laugh (or roll your eyes) when you're surfing profiles?

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Jan 25, 2006 @ 7:53 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
branddrgn


Posts: 39
"Can you handle me"
"Tired of games"

all i can think of this early
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 8:02 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
simplegal873


Posts: 108
Well the first thing I look for is any sign of intelligence. No they don't have to be super braniacs but the ability to communicate and some basic grade school grammar and writing skills can go a long way.

Secondly, I look for humor. The ability to laugh at oneself and the world around you will carry you far in life.

Red Flags? Lack of interest in completing a profile, bad grammar. Any sign that they might be heavy drinkers or into drugs. Anything that leads me to believe that they are portraying themselves dishonestly. Cliches in general. Can't they just be themselves and come up with something original?

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Jan 25, 2006 @ 8:19 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
MoonBeamTag45


Posts: 194
"Looking for a new friend" ....what happened to your OLD friends ?

"I'm in an unhappy marriage"... Get a divorce, and make her happier !!

"I'm tired of the bar scene"... How long did it take you to get tired ?

"if u like me then u 4 me"..... I would like to send you back to grade school.

" my hair is black and natural" ( at 50 years old ).....Yeah, right...mine too !

"don't try to change me".... Alrighty then, I'll check out your profile when you stop being mad at the last person.

"I love to walk on the beach".... It's January in Pa. How do you feel about snow boarding ?

This is all that I can think of for right now...Can I come back and add additions later ???
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 9:38 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
Mischief484


Posts: 489
Instead of saying "I have a great sense of humor," how about showing me? Write something witty and unexpected.

I like to avoid people who are looking for "relationships," and gravitate towards people who are interested in a torrid love affair that may (or may not) develop into something deeper. I'm a risk taker and relate better with my peers.

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Jan 25, 2006 @ 9:46 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
MoonBeamTag45


Posts: 194
I like to avoid people who are looking for "relationships," and gravitate towards people who are interested in a torrid love affair that may (or may not) develop into something deeper.


How do you know...???
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 9:51 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
Mischief484


Posts: 489
How do I know what? Whether or not they might be interested in a love affair?

I can't put my finger on it, exactly. But I know'em when I see'em.
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 9:59 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
TiNkErGrRrRrR


Posts: 13,252
"don't try to change me"....


I am a woman with my own identity, look into my eyes and you’ll see who I am.Not who you want me to be. (perhaps this means the same thing..oh no I`m in trouble..thats what i put in mine.
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 10:11 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
Kat_luvr


Posts: 529
---->>> @moon..... Touche"

Hmmmm....profiles that say something like...no preferences all the way down...WTH? Or Ill finish this later....?? Dont care? good then you wont be turning me down then....??? Or my personal favorite..... "MY WIFE CAN'T KEEP UP" , OR "LOOKING FOR WHAT SHE DONT GIVE" WTF? My ex cheated on me....these creeps make me wanna find out who they are so i can expose them.

[Edited on 1/25/2006 10:17 AM]
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 10:13 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
MoonBeamTag45


Posts: 194
I am a woman with my own identity, look into my eyes and you’ll see who I am.Not who you want me to be. (perhaps this means the same thing..oh no I`m in trouble..thats what i put in mine.


Ignore me... as I read back on my own post. I think I may have got up on the wrong side of the bed !!
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 10:16 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
TiNkErGrRrRrR


Posts: 13,252
Ok Now I have to get serious..heres my list
Incomplete profiles with no comments.
Illiteracy
Rudeness and crudeness
Selfcentered responses
Unwillingness to consider anyone who doesn't exactly fit his preconceived picture of the perfect little dolly he thinks he must have.
(Haven't we all fallen in love with someone we never thought we would like at first? The person actually becomes beautiful to us.)
Something that doesn't attract me in a profile is when a guy mentions in several different comment boxes how attractive he is. Honestly, appearances do matter (at least on some level) to most people, but to dwell on that seems to appear very conceited and shallow...a person has many aspects to themselves and I want to know so much more than about how good he thinks he looks..
The one thing that turns me off more than anything else is man who is looking for a slim, attractive female -- doesn't character and similar interests matter?



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Jan 25, 2006 @ 10:17 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
greenizenora


Posts: 290
When all they have marked is "intimate activities". . .
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 10:20 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
Kat_luvr


Posts: 529
(Haven't we all fallen in love with someone we never thought we would like at first? The person actually becomes beautiful to us.)
My mother used to tell me... it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one, a dr. or a laborer...This is the thing about online dating that is frustrating..... it will never work if we are not willing to get off the couch and meet personally....
 view Kat_luvr's threads
Jan 25, 2006 @ 11:42 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
Latitude45


Posts: 23
"I like to be wined and dined" Big eater with an alcohol problem?
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 11:54 AM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
TiNkErGrRrRrR


Posts: 13,252
"I like to be wined and dined" Big eater with an alcohol problem?

can`t be describing me..I don`t drink..and food..whats that?
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 12:07 PM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
VictoriaSecBabe


Posts: 47
You might already know to keep an eye out for the more blatant red flags such as lying, mood swings or excessive compliments. Here are a few more to add to the list of possible offenders.





Red Flag # 1: The obvious form letter
I believe men are more guilty of this, because they (have to) send out far more intital contact letters. You can tell it's a "form letter" because he'll pontificate in a generic way about what he’s looking for, never commenting specifically about your picture, interests or anything he’s read about you at all.



Red Flag # 2: Mentioning sex way too soon, (or at all)
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want some stranger I don’t even know telling me what a tantalizing lover he is. If he has to tell me, then something is just wrong with that picture. Some things are best left a mystery...

Red Flag # 3: Mentioning how attractive one is
If beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, then let us be the judge of your photo. Let your photo do the talking. A combination of beauty and humility goes quite a long way.

Red Flag # 4: Negativity in CAPS
If I see "NO LIARS, gameplayers, DRUNKS, etc." in the subject line of anyone's profile, (and this is typically a woman's flaw) I know to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. We've all been hurt, but advertising something like this makes you look like you have too much anger to overcome. Happy attracts happy. Fake it for now and give the new guy a fighting chance. He's innocent and you don't want to drive him away before you even meet him.



Red Flag # 5: No online flirting, followed by the immediate phone number
I'd rather get to know someone a bit via email banter before I take things further. I want to flirt first. I want to see if he can spell the word intelligent. Just because he thinks you’re a babe in your profile doesn’t mean you two have anything remotely in common.

Red Flag # 6: Being too restrictive
If you're trying to hard to find the 'perfect one', you automatically exclude 90% of those who might have more in common with you than you think. If you demand something like this: "You must be between 6.0 and 6.2 and the ages of 31.5 and 36.3", you're really just setting yourself up to fail. True physical chemistry doesn't recognize age or height. In fact, sometimes it defies it.



Red Flag # 7: No posted photo
Statistics prove that people get 10 to 12 times more responses when they post a photograph. It doesn’t matter if she calls herself a model or if he describes himself as athletic . With a photo, you have the proof. And unless it looks like a prom photo taken during the height of the popularity of Flock of Seagulls, and he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt’s dateless twin brother, it’s probably a safe bet that it’s a genuine photo of him.

Red Flag # 8: Demanding or inferring that a high income is mandatory
This is something women tend to be more guilty of pursuing. Most men don't care, but that's a whole other story. Still... regardless of how much money one makes, bringing it up (in an initial profile) is just in poor taste. Try to swap a few emails before you shake 'em down.

Red Flag # 9: Seeking perfection unrealisitically
Women who wont settle for anything less than Fabio, when they themselves are more on the level of Marge Simpson's sisters. Men who demand Pamela Lee Anderson (with more up top), yet who haven't worn a clean shirt since the Carter administration. Just because we can walk into the candy store, doesn't mean we can afford the priciest jawbreakers. Spread yourself out and keep openminded. You just might suprise yourself
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 12:07 PM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
Kat_luvr


Posts: 529
"I like to be wined and dined" Big eater with an alcohol problem?
It means take her out and feed her, then get her drunk, before taking her to your bed....Wined, dined and 69'ed
 view Kat_luvr's threads
Jan 25, 2006 @ 12:16 PM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
Latitude45


Posts: 23
It means take her out and feed her, then get her drunk, before taking her to your bed....Wined, dined and 69'ed


No wonder I've been missing out, and here I thought it was a bad thing.

So is "financially secure, generous man" something I should reconsider as well?
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 12:22 PM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
Kat_luvr


Posts: 529
Yea... RUN...she wants your Money!
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Jan 25, 2006 @ 12:39 PM Red Flags and Cliches in Profiles    
sissycat411


Posts: 1,023
So is "financially secure, generous man" something I should reconsider as well?


Just means......she supported and raised her kids....they are gone and she doesn't want another to put a roof over his head....

My all time favorite......."Enjoys the simple things in life"... He can't afford to date locally, let alone pursue a cross country relationship....
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