| Feb 4, 2006 @ 12:03 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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stonekeeper
Posts: 21
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 Lonely and Can't Wait to Get Married?
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One of the most prevalent prayer requests and counseling
requests of singles is the ardent desire to get married.
This is especially true for women.
Singles can get downright miserable because they aren't married.
I want to share some insight that might just calm those so
impatiently longing for marriage.
First the statistics.
Approximately half of marriages end in divorce.
Opinion varies but it ranges from 40% to nearly two-thirds.
In general, over half of all couples who marry will divorce.
USA Today had a survey years ago that I can't find but I
remember the results. USA Today surveyed couples who had been
married for 25 years or more. The survey asked one question.
"Would you marry the same person all over again?"
The answers surprised me.
50% said "Yes" but 50% said "No."
For those 50% who said NO who had been together 25 years or
more, it meant they weren't really happy together.
That was a sobering realization. My contact with couples over
the years has verified USA Today's survey. Half of the married
couples who stay together aren't really happy with each other.
The institution of marriage can be awesome.
A university and a bank are institutions but so is a prison.
Just from the raw stats, you have about a one in five
probability of marrying someone whom you won't regret marrying.
ONE IN FIVE!
I tell impatient singles these are the stats. The divorce rate
among churchgoers is just as high or in some cases higher.
I believe marriage can be one of the most wonderful things a
person experiences, but it is about like a career and in-laws,
most people never get to the wonderful part.
I did not get married until I was 38.
My wife was 27 when we married.
People would chide me by saying, "Aren't you married yet?"
"No," I would reply adding, "but I'm not divorced either."
I knew that marriage was not something that I should rush.
I knew I should not be married before I was truly ready and had
the wife God intended me to have.
I also knew it was far better to remain single than get into a
bad marriage.
My wife also knew that and went one step beyond.
My wife had never had her heart broken.
One reason for that is that other things were also unbroken.
She was still a virgin on our wedding night.
We often want God to send us a divine mate in the midst of mess.
With all things in life, only a small percentage truly makes it
to the Promised Land. Marriage is such a land and it can be
bondage or beautiful.
Take your time and remember,
it's best to go to bed alone
and remain alone,
than to wake up to someone you don't want to be with
...for the rest of your life.
~A MountainWings Original~
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| Feb 4, 2006 @ 12:04 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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stonekeeper
Posts: 21
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sorry,,,my computer sent that twice.
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| Feb 4, 2006 @ 12:08 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,792
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Take your time and remember,
it's best to go to bed alone
and remain alone,
than to wake up to someone you don't want to be with
...for the rest of your life.
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| Feb 4, 2006 @ 12:10 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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stonekeeper
Posts: 21
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Take your time and remember,
it's best to go to bed alone
and remain alone,
than to wake up to someone you don't want to be with
...for the rest of your life.
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| Feb 4, 2006 @ 2:27 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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Aselune
Posts: 548
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Excellent post Stone...excellent
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| Sep 9 @ 1:17 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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WSOR
Posts: 1,026
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I agree.. that is excellent. If only there was a way to speed up the healing process once we've been hurt.. & my heart goes out to those that have been hurt time & time again. Does the vicious cycle ever really end? :(
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| Sep 9 @ 10:13 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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custis
Posts: 1,365
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The statistics on fidelity are even worse. When you get a poll where the people asked are guaranteed of absolute secrecy, we find the percentage of adulterous marriages may be as high as 80%. This includes marriages where one partner or the other was unfaithful maybe once or twice in the entire duration of the marriage as well as marriages where one or both partners are routinely unfaithful. The same poll was reported by both Newsweek and Playboy back in the early eighties but I forget which university took it.
When I was in my twenties, newly divorced and possessing no brain, I worked in a nursing home. I was the only male employee in an entire large building of female employees and nearly all of these females were married. During the time I spent working there, I found that nearly every single one of these females who were under the age of fifty were willing to have sex with someone other than their husband if the circumstances were right. One night, even the charge nurse (my boss), called me into a dark and empty patient room, suddenly grabbed me and started kissing and fondling me.
Most of these incidents occured in the last three hours of the shift when things were slowing down and the patients were in bed. Therefore it would seem that time on the hands and boredom was a factor in my coworkers getting horny.
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| Sep 13 @ 10:39 AM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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Excellent post, Stone!
I've made my own share of mistakes, and wish I'd been smarter when I was younger. In my own defense, I wasn't prepared for the realities of life and that is something I didn't figure out until not so very long ago... and much too late. However, in my own self criticism, I could have tried harder too. I wasn't committed, and that made all the reasons to leave (excuses, really), so much easier to jump on.
This time, I'm better prepared, in my own mind and heart, for the long haul. I have analyzed the cons as well as the pros, and know I love this man for who he IS, rather than who I think, or wish, he is. Although this relationship is like a fairytale compared to my previous experiences, it's NOT a fairytale. It's reality and it's for life ...and I'm giving it all I have. If all I have isn't good enough.....I'll darn well make all I have better!
Understanding who I am, what I need and want in a partner, and who my partner is, makes all the difference. Realizing that the 'honeymoon' phase doesn't last forever is important too. I know I'm still going to love this man when 'life and reality' come crashing in on us. We work well together as a team, and communicate respectfully and honestly with each other. We are very different, but we also complement each other... where I fail, he excels, and (I hope) where he fails, I excel.
Love is the foundation, but a willingness to make things work is the cement that holds a relationship together.
Or do I have that backwards? Maybe a willingness to make things work is the foundation, and love is the cement that hold it together? 
[Edited on 9/13/2008 10:44 AM]
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| Sep 13 @ 10:42 AM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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willowy1
Posts: 4,984
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^^sounds like real love to me! 
Beautiful write!!!
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| Sep 13 @ 10:46 AM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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If you are referring to my post, thank you, Willowy. I edited it, because it got me to thinking.....
a dangerous thing if ever there was....lol
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| Sep 13 @ 11:16 AM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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willowy1
Posts: 4,984
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Em..my mind is a scary place to go into alone  but you have it together.
So do you come here often? You should ..I love reading your posts!
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| Sep 13 @ 3:13 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 16,241
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Em has been here for years........and that was a great post!!! I'm glad to hear you and touch are still together.....miss you guys!! 
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| Sep 13 @ 3:19 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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Oops...LOL. Thanks Spring. I answered her in email, and forgot the question was posted here.  
Yeah, I've been here so long I have my own room... somewhere. LOL
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| Sep 13 @ 4:15 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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signme
Posts: 9,605
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Good to see you Em and glad things are going so well with you and Touch. Wish you two came in more often!
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| Sep 13 @ 4:20 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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Good to 'see' you too, Sign. Hope things are well with you.
I wish Touch came into the forums more often, too, but why on earth would anyone want to see me more often? Don't I annoy you enough already???
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| Sep 13 @ 4:41 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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signme
Posts: 9,605
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But Em, that's a good annoyance! LOL
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| Sep 18 @ 8:19 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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Well, a good annoyance is far better than good riddance!!
I'm lonely, and I can't wait to get married! 
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| Oct 1 @ 4:12 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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L8angel
Posts: 60
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I well know that a marriage doesn't necessarily mean the end of loneliness. Marriage may not address every problem or need. This time I'm looking for peace and understanding, whatever kind of relationship it turns out to be.
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| Oct 1 @ 5:28 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage
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georgiapeach42
Posts: 310
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Beautiful post, and thank you for posting it. 
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| Oct 1 @ 7:52 PM |
moutain wings on lonliness and marriage |
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tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
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Getting married is one thing but to marry the right person, thats a whole other ball game.
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