| Feb 6, 2006 @ 1:57 PM |
Dating people with children
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father_heart
Posts: 1,110
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I just say the word specail needs and they rock, say Autistic and poof,
hey wasnt someone just standing their?
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 2:00 PM |
Dating people with children |
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Kimmaranclh
Posts: 132
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I don't have any problems with being in a relationship with someone that has children. Teenagers or not. I think that there probably has to be some kind of ground rules set as to the role that you'll have in that child's life, but I definitely think it can work and be a fullfilling experience. I know plenty of people that have dated and a few that have married people with children.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 2:03 PM |
Dating people with children
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Kimmaranclh
Posts: 132
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Father Heart.....^^^^ I would never say no to someone that has a special needs child. My reasons are personal but I do want you to know that not all people feel that way. Special needs children can be an absolute joy to be around. I think because they can appreciate the littlest thing so much more sometimes. Anyway, just my opinion on that.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 2:10 PM |
Dating people with children |
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Letmekn0
Posts: 44
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Father Heart=
I work for an adoption project that only works with trying to adopt out special needs children. I see parent after parent give up there child to become warred of the court. They feel there child is defective or to "much" work. I am just thankful that you are still a loving parent at all.  that is just my two cents
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 2:21 PM |
Dating people with children
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father_heart
Posts: 1,110
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i used to do the same, yet work in the homes for these children
Ill never give up on my son.
re dating, proof is in the pudding, im geting tired of tasting.
yet here we are, my dareling Boston and me, with nothing pink in our home.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 2:30 PM |
Dating people with children |
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TigerEyes71
Posts: 87
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The kids almost never accept an outsider..Get the kids raised.
Well, that's not true in everyone's case. Certainly not mine. As evidenced by my oldest child's love for my ex.
Raise them to be autonomous.....and when the youngest is 18 years old, that is when you begin your new life..
No... you begin a new life when YOU are ready to. Having children in your life should not dictate that. Use common sense and when you are ready to introduce your children to the new person in your life, you can.
... simply don't want to lose the built in baby sitter.
Built in babysitter? Can you clarify exactly who you mean by this?
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 2:38 PM |
Dating people with children
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TigerEyes71
Posts: 87
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ever try dating a parent of a specail needs child?
no? CAUSE NONE WILL DATE US !
Oh father... not everyone is like that. Remember, my oldest has Down syndrome. She was born in 95. I didn't meet my ex until the beginning of 99. He accepted her like his own (and he didn't have his first until 02 when I had his child). I have been with two other people since my ex and I split and I can assure you, they started out as friends and when they finally did meet my kids, they were very accepting of the fact that my oldest has special needs.
It's not a big deal unless the parent with the special needs child, makes it one. I treat my daughter like I would treat any other 10 year old. They see that and they are fine with it.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 3:16 PM |
Dating people with children |
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,162
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Dating someone with children would not be a big problem with me. I like kids and don’t mind them being around me. I brought up 3 daughters and they are in agreement that if I found someone else they would treat their children as brothers and sisters. I feel that is important. IF there was a true friendship and love between two adults children would be just icing on the cake!
If a woman cannot accept me for the 'whole package- Teens and all'- I would have to let her go and look elsware. She is not worth all the problems that could or will pop up later on in a relationship. I have witness these power trips as a child and it wasn’t a pretty picture.
The fact that if she says she doesnt want to be on the 'back burner' to someones children, just shows how immature and how she obviously does not understand what it means to have and raise a child. Accept me for who I am a single father or look somewheres else.
Hey ladies before you just up and say men are like that tooooooo!!!! Sustute the she, her with he and him! LOL 
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 4:06 PM |
Dating people with children
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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I was hoping to hear more from those who do not have kids of their own.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 4:22 PM |
Dating people with children |
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Bamaboy37
Posts: 12
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[QUOTE]I much prefer to date a woman with kids than a woman with no kids, simply because she will, generally speaking, understand my position as a single-dad much better. She will also, probably, share my love of kids, and be equally as happy to spend days out with the kids as spending days out with just me[QUOTE]
This has been the way I have seen it too. I am a single dad with full custody as the boys' mother is dead. I have to find a woman who will accept me as a package deal and women with children of their own usually have an easier time. I have dated some with no children and they were great at first, but later in the relationship they did not want the boys around very often....wanted me to "get rid" of them. I didn't take them all the time, but sometimes I felt they needed to have some time with me too.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 5:05 PM |
Dating people with children
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Bojangles102
Posts: 478
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Tiger.....the child is in a broken home. That's traumatic enough..A child's reasoning can allow them to think that they were the cause of the divorce and now along with that do you say that a stranger who they have an attachment for should be allowed to come into their life, be an authority figure and they should respect them.......about autonomous, raise the kids to be independent and not feel that when the parent remarries, they would feel a loss or feel any jealousy..............and yes, frequently, I see children in their thirties who want to keep mom around because it is selfishly convenieninent for them, the kids.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 5:08 PM |
Dating people with children |
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father_heart
Posts: 1,110
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 5:11 PM |
Dating people with children
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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This has been the way I have seen it too. I am a single dad with full custody as the boys' mother is dead. I have to find a woman who will accept me as a package deal and women with children of their own usually have an easier time. I have dated some with no children and they were great at first, but later in the relationship they did not want the boys around very often....wanted me to "get rid" of them. I didn't take them all the time, but sometimes I felt they needed to have some time with me too.
"Bamaboy"..
 I`m sure there are women out then who will accept you and the boys..you just have to find the right one..
One of the reasons I gave up dating long ago was because of my kids..I didn`t want to put that responsibility on anyone else..so it was my choice..but like I said I`m sure theres someone out there who`ll accept both you and your kids.  besides i had 4 little rugrats ..too many to push off on someone else. 
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 5:20 PM |
Dating people with children |
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TigerEyes71
Posts: 87
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A child's reasoning can allow them to think that they were the cause of the divorce and now along with that do you say that a stranger who they have an attachment for should be allowed to come into their life, be an authority figure and they should respect them.......
Not at all... if you are a responsible parent, then you explain to the child that the divorce is most certainly NOT the fault or cause of the child. I don't understand why any parent wouldn't explain such a thing. I have NEVER blamed my children for me and my ex ending our relationship. Our break up had nothing to do with the kids, so why would I do that to them?
Also, I didn't state that a stranger should be an authority figure in the child's life. I think that the parent of the child should be the one who does the disciplining because they are just that - the parent. If it's a major issue, then the child's other parent (when possible) should be brought in on what type of disipline should be agreed upon. It's not the job of their partner to parent that child in that way. Can they be supportive? Absolutely. Do they have the right to discipline another's child? No. If I wanted a man to discipline my daughters, I would have their father do it. And as far as respect goes - Well, that's something that needs IMHO to be earned. Two adults entering a relationship have to earn respect for each other. It should be no different with children.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 5:41 PM |
Dating people with children
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lukleslov
Posts: 36
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A bit off topic I am sorry, but all this talk of bringing other people into our kids lives like it is the end of the world. How many parents are with their kids 24/7. NO, kids are with their family, and friends, and school with their teachers. We entrust our children to other people all the time, whether we want to or not. What is so different about dating someone and letting them be around your children also. I'd hope that those of us with kids can be good enough judge of character on who we leave our children with and allow them to be around. If you're dating someone who you dont think would be good for your kids, then break it off now, it will never work.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 5:53 PM |
Dating people with children |
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TigerEyes71
Posts: 87
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 7:09 PM |
Dating people with children
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7eternity
Posts: 223
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I was hoping to hear more from those who do not have kids of their own.
K, here I am then! Oh and remember that I speak for myself only.
When I hear "divorced, separated guy with kids", I'd stay away as far as I can, well for now at the least. The kids aren't what would stand between me and the guy. I'm crazy about kids and I'll never blame them for the divorce/separated situation of the parents. Every situation is different, so I'll tell you one of my reasons. A man who's gone through the whole honeymoon, wedding, baby with someone else is one big turn off. It's a turn off I perceive that can later become a challenge to our marriage. So, if I fall for a divorced/separate guy, I will most likely "kill" the feelings rather than let it grow.
But that's just me. Until things change, to my eyes, a divorced/separated man can never be as a good match as a single guy for a single woman who never got pregnant and married. That stands for me tonight, but love certainly can change all that anytime, anywhere. Nothing's stronger than love.
Peace and Love
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 7:14 PM |
Dating people with children |
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ILLLOOK
Posts: 315
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I hope this doesn't get me in trouble but I have dated 2 single women without childern in the last year. At least with these 2 I found that they were very selfish and I would rather deal with 10 screaming kids than a selfish adult.
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 7:36 PM |
Dating people with children
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,162
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So what you are saying 7Eternity that people who were married and if they should have children too, shouldnt be in the new car lot looking, but on in the used car lot instead? Maybe a suggestion for Matchdoctor to add that to the ad info NEW or USED! LOL Click me on used please!
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| Feb 6, 2006 @ 8:08 PM |
Dating people with children |
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7eternity
Posts: 223
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So what you are saying 7Eternity that people who were married and if they should have children too, shouldnt be in the new car lot looking, but on in the used car lot instead?
No, I spoke for myself only. I did not say that, and I said that every situation was different. Please read carefully.
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