| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:09 PM |
Loneliness
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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Feeling lonely at times is very human. There are different kinds of loneliness: feeling as though you don't have enough (or any) friends; feeling unseen or unknown by those you know; difficulty feeling good when alone or making use of one's time. Sometimes we suffer because of a false belief about ourselves: "If I am alone, then something must be wrong with me. Perhaps I am unlovable." This feeling may be a symptom of insufficient self love. On the other hand, growing up in a society that promotes a dependence upon, or even an addiction to external things for a sense of well being — food, clothes, drugs, other people — leaves many of us floundering when left all to ourselves. Some of us may have internalized the false view that to be happy is to be surrounded by others at all times, regardless of how we may feel in their company.
And yet, if we can learn to be truly intimate with ourselves, then we are never alone.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:17 PM |
Loneliness |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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if we can learn to be truly intimate with ourselves, then we are never alone.
Yep, I like me a lot and I don't get lonely the way I did when I was younger.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:41 PM |
Loneliness
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Jankia
Posts: 11,895
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This is a good thread you have started........loneliness.
Its a strange feeling,some are lonely all the time while some are only when certain interests or portions of life are encountered.
For example-holidays,when your invited somewhere and should bring a guest,when you see the happiness of another couple etc.
I fit into the second catagory.Being divorced for 10 years and with the occasional off and on relationship with other women but not in love,I never really had the feeling of loneliness until my kids got there drivers licenses and didnt need to or have the time to visit with pa.
Although I certainly miss and want a permanent friend I now wonder if I can.Being 50 years old,a feller tends to get set in his ways.
Does everyone at that age?
I suppose only true love can get one to leave lonely..... alone, because when I am doing what I truly love,I'm not lonely.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:44 PM |
Loneliness |
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,517
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By nature I have always been a loner... always.
As a child, I had no guidance, no siblings and parents that were not really interactive with me - I feel as though I "grew myself up".
I was completely on my own from age 17 to 27.
And, then even when I was married 15 years... I still felt like I was alone and didn't really mind that he wasn't around very much.
I use to always feel most comfortable when I was alone. However, I've reached a point in my life now where I'm finally tired of being alone. Maybe I've finally done enough self-growth that I'm ready to really share my life with someone. Or, maybe 41 years is just a long time to be alone.
Whatever the case may be... I'm ready to not be alone anymore.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:47 PM |
Loneliness
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I think the loneliest period in my life was when I was married. However my wife was one of those people who demanded attention and didn't want to hear what I thought or felt. She wasn't a bad person or anything, she just made me feel lonely. We probably wouldn't have lasted 6 months if I hadn't loved her kids so much.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:49 PM |
Loneliness |
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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Thanks for sharing Lee....Iwas on my own from age 14 to present...What a life...learned a great deal way before my time...mainly about people.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:49 PM |
Loneliness
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,517
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(oops... don't know how I got a duplicate post here)
[Edited on 2/16/2006 7:56 PM]
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:49 PM |
Loneliness |
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,517
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Interesting how being with the wrong person can actually make you feel more lonely than actually being alone. I can so relate to that.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:51 PM |
Loneliness
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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"Whatever the case may be... I'm ready to not be alone anymore."
That is exactly how I feel!
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:54 PM |
Loneliness |
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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I can understand that someone else can make you feel lonely...although I have never been married...not for lack of opportunity..but pure fear, and I don't know why
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:56 PM |
Loneliness
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I'm not afraid of getting married again, I just won't make the mistake of marrying her again. I was already lonely when I got married. We were together for about 3 years before the wedding.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 7:57 PM |
Loneliness |
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,517
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I can understand that someone else can make you feel lonely...although I have never been married...not for lack of opportunity..but pure fear, and I don't know why
Maybe for fear of loosing yourself. When two people merge they become one.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 8:16 PM |
Loneliness
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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By nature I have always been a loner... always.
 I too have always been a loner..but I haven`t felt all that lonely..I`ve always had my kids around me.. 
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 8:37 PM |
Loneliness |
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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"Maybe for fear of loosing yourself. When two people merge they become one"
Ok Lee now you're just freakin' me out...LOL! Just kidding.
You really hit the nail on that one! 
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 8:59 PM |
Loneliness
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,517
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"Maybe for fear of loosing yourself. When two people merge they become one"
Ok Lee now you're just freakin' me out...LOL! Just kidding.
You really hit the nail on that one!
LOL Don't worry, you'll still have yourself... you'll just feel more complete. 
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 9:08 PM |
Loneliness |
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ladyraindove74
Posts: 290
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I, too, was basically a loner. After my husband passed away, even with the girls around I was alone. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't really lonely, it was the fact that I was alone, hence no significant other. I had to reflect on a lot of things in life and see from a different perspective. I no longer feel alone or lonely that much. I actually enjoy my own company, and like Jankia...it might be hard now to adjust to someone being around all the time. But...I'd take the chance...
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 9:14 PM |
Loneliness
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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"LOL Don't worry, you'll still have yourself... you'll just feel more complete"
That's what I want.. to feel complete. I can honestly say that I have never really had that.
I dated this guy once a few times and then I told him that I had left home at the age of 14....he was quiet for a moment and I asked him if he now thought differently of me because I wasn't a "sheltered" person that was raised in the traditional sense...and he said yes, he did...I was really hurt by that.
Since then, I have somewhat considered not talking about my life...but then it is not in my nature to pretend.....I am me because of where I have been and what I have experienced and I can't change that....and really don't care to, but I would like to meet someone who loves me despite it all.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 9:18 PM |
Loneliness |
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ladyraindove74
Posts: 290
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Gimme....I think a lot of us want that...to be accepted for who we are...where we've been. So many have had difficult backgrounds and that should not reflect on who a person is now. Shallow people may not see it that way...
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 9:20 PM |
Loneliness
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,517
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.....I am me because of where I have been and what I have experienced and I can't change that....and really don't care to
That's so true and a great attitude to have.
...... but I would like to meet someone who loves me despite it all.
Yeah, I know.... me too. Hang in there, Sweetie!!!!!!
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:34 PM |
Loneliness |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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The points brought up about loneliness versus being alone are interesting. They are, indeed, two different things.
Begging your pardon though, a couple of things jumped out at me. I don't believe another person completes you. If you are not already 'complete', going into a relationship, and you have expectations of your SO filling the void, you could be disappointed.
Also, I don't believe we merge as one. We are always two separate individuals. Hopefully though, we learn to share things on such an intimate and personal level, we become more interwoven. IMHO. 
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