| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:29 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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Is there such a thing as too soon to meet someone from online?
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:36 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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I was just emailed by an awsome looking guy with a great profile. He gave me his yeeha addy, so I emailed him...we emailed back and forth for about 5-10 min he asked if he was too far away (388 miles) and that he could come and see me or visa versa, anyway....i said I wouldn't ask that of someone until we got to know each other.....that was his last email, he never replied.....Do some men actually feel that we should hook after after just a few minutes?? I could go to the bar and do that!! 
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:39 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Yes. Someone winks at you and then emails you telling you their full name, address, "social security number" and indicates where and what time they'd like to meet you, without even having had any other communication whatsoever 
It happens. 
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:46 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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Well, that was just a cryin shame  ....because he was looking good to me! lol... Better to figure out his game now instead of later. oh well!
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:47 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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I've always thought that if it's local, the sooner the better - but a little longer than just 10 mins. I'm always thrown off by women who will send their phone number on the first letter that would rather talk than write.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:47 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,614
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I learned, for me, a valuable lesson about internet meetings. I had been treating this as different than real life. It proved to be a mistake. I believed that meeting someone on-line was different. Nah, mostly real people behind those screens. I believed that getting to know someone through e-mails and posts was building a relationship. I see now that this just isn't realistic. A first meeting is still just that, a first meeting. Perhaps we allow our imaginations to run a little more when meeting this way? i have always delayed meetings in the hope of getting to know someone better first. My opinion has changed drastically. Meet as soon as possible and don't let expectations build. i think the one-on- one thing should prob happen quickly. Words are easily misinterpreted when written. You need to have the body language, the intonations, the smiles or grimaces. You need the real life contact. I've also learned not to take this so seriously. Enjoy it for what it is, an introduction, a conversation, but stop reading between the lines.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:49 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,102
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I don’t mind meeting someone close by after a couple of emails and a call. I have to find out what this person is about, you know where their head is at. But at a distance it will have to be a long term getting to know each other. We both have to want to meet, not just me or her.
Since you said that you all have to get to know first and since he didn’t send a reply it was just trying to make a hook up to me.  Just my humble opinion!
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:55 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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the_real_me_ok
Posts: 293
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For me, I would say....if he is local (388 miles is not local for me, that's a bit far) I'd chat with him online, if things went well after that, a phone call or two, if that felt right then make a plan to meet somewhere neutral. Doesn't matter if all that happens within a day or two. But the person would have to be within an hour's drive time for me and it would have to be in a public place for sure. Meeting or agreeing to meet so soon is ok, but you have to realize that the person may just be doing it in the heat of the moment or may back out, and if that's the case, at least you're not far from home, and at least he/she doesn't know where you live.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 10:55 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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I don't have an issue with meeting right away necessarily, but I wouldn't want someone to travel 388 miles... if we could just spend a little more time chatting or talking on the phone we may learn enough about each other to know if it is worth the trip.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 11:08 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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I believe in meeting ASAP. I think it is a waste of time to drum up some fantasy man in my mind, and possibly be disappointed when we finally meet. Get it over with.
I wouldn't even have a problem meeting someone several miles away. If he comes to visit you though, I wouldn't give out my address. He would have to stay at a hotel, and I would arrange safe meeting places. Even if you don't hit it off, it's always fun to meet new friends.
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 11:09 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,614
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Sorry Gimme, wasn't directing this at you... just hit a soft spot with me! I know we want to get to know each other first but wonder if this is really possible on the net? Think I may need to go back to my old stance on distance dating... doesn't work... I add... for me!
Edited to add...  Classy, you snuck in before I posted my rant!
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 11:14 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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Gimmesumluvn
Posts: 142
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Thank you all so much for your views...I'm gonna take a bath and go to 
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| Feb 16, 2006 @ 11:16 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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Ramjet222
Posts: 122
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Just wondering which bar U were going to 
could be worth a trip 
(actually never met anyone online  )
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 12:42 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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manchild17
Posts: 29
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i say hooray for the guy. It sounds like you were wasting his time. No offense but a lot of people have this misunderstanding about 'online dating'. And the biggest problem is that a lot of people don't have the balls to take from online into RL. And you are basically wasting this guy's time if you want to get to know them online. WHY? Well, we as people tend to image the person who we were emailing to. And then we start to think of them in our heads. "Oh he must be really funny if he emails me jokes". Then you meet this person, and boom he is someone complete different then what you image. He might be better but you started to like the guy in your head.
388 miles is a long way. If he was serious about meeting, you should have made him come to you. I would have suggested talking on the phone first.
Everyone is so afraid nowadays. OH NO, he might be a stalker or something. If you don't want to take the chance then I suggest you get off internet love search.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 12:44 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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exiled131
Posts: 1,808
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i don't even consider meeting anyone from here without two or three weeks of good conversation. learned my lesson beforehand on that.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 1:10 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,900
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I would say that if they are within 25 miles,soon could be the same day but farther than that,take the time to find out as much as you can about someone.Even doing that you will still not be totally sure of that person until you actually meet fece to face.
People lie,even over a long period of time.
For example,I met a gal online from another site.She was from California and contacted me,from Wisconsin first.She knew I had no intention of relocating so she insisted on coming to see me first.Over the course of almost a year of email and phone calls I offered to pay her airfare and she always had excuses for not coming so I told her that I would come out there in a few weeks for her 50th birthday.
Her reply? "No you cannot come out here,my roomate wouldnt like it"
Almost a year and I never knew she had a livein boyfriend. 
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 1:16 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Almost a year and I never knew she had a livein boyfriend
thats bad..
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 1:19 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,900
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Yea it is,thats why I say--dont believe everything about anyone until you meet face to face.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 1:25 PM |
Too soon to meet???
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ebonyluvsivory
Posts: 26
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Well, I have done that on two occasions (after about an hour of IM) to meet local gentlemen, and it worked out quite well since we were so close.
However, I could never really understand why some men insist on writing someone that is NOT local, trying to start a relationship. Doesn't make sense to me for a fellow to travel that far for a casual date (especially since that is all I am looking for and clearly stated in my profile) but they continue to write anyway. I figure a guy should be able to meet up with me in about 30 minutes to an hour. Several hours drive, or even a plane flight, just to meet me or take me out for a bite? Fine if you're visiting the area anyway, but a special trip?
Very sweet of them, but still makes not much sense to me.
[Edited on 2/17/2006 1:27 PM]
[Edited on 2/17/2006 1:29 PM]
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 1:27 PM |
Too soon to meet??? |
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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my sentiments tend to most closely mirror those of classyblonde and manchild. i like to use the internet as a means to and end, make the connection - and if there's a mutual interest - meet in person to see if there is a spark.
it seems many people rely on the internet as some false security blanket. i'm not sure i understand that. if I was many of the things people are so trying to protect themselves from - if i had half a measure of intelligence and tact, they would never know any of these things - no matter how long we communicated over the internet.
when you meet someone in real life that you like, you go out on a date, and then maybe a second, and then maybe a third - that's how you get to know about someone and if you like them or not. I guess being online changes all of that.
i believe it is ok to get a "feel" for the person, and that could take a day, week, etc...it depends, but once you have the feel - don't build up a false relationship on the internet.
i've learned from experience (and this is just "my" experience and "my" personal views) that if a woman writes but lives a great distance away (more than a few hours) - there's most likely issues there. For starters, it says in my profile that i want someone local and that i CAN'T get away. Further, women can usually find someone (being of the fairer sex) and i'm no gorgeous stud that would cause a woman to swoon over and forget all her senses. So....if someone of that nature writes me, i find it's generally an indication of the woman is looking for something "safe", where she can make that pseudo "emotional connection" w/o really ever having to give of herself - and then when she's ready again for "real life" - it's back to the dog pound for the cute little puppy she enjoyed playing with for the time being.
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