| Feb 17, 2006 @ 10:51 AM |
Miscommunication?
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Wasn`t going to post another Thread but can`t learn anything if you don`t try so here goes: 
In todays society, its become harder to properly communicate with each other. I think some where along the line, both men and women forgot how to talk to each other; I guess thats what the struggle nowadays has become. Both men and women have become increasingly stubborn about what they want in life and relationships. Does that seem valid? Yes? No?
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:19 AM |
Miscommunication? |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,370
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I think as we get older we get more stubborn. As we look for older mates, we notice they have gotten more stubborn too. I don't think society has changed as much as we as individuals have changed.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:23 AM |
Miscommunication?
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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^ Same thing he said.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:24 AM |
Miscommunication? |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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Tink, I think there have been so many books, talk shows, and the like that tell everyone how to run a relationship--how to talk, how to dress, how to think--that no one knows now how to relate comfortably to another person. Should I mention this? Should I not say that? There has been a definite information overload, which is inhibiting people's ability to just plain talk.
And even if one person in the couple has not read all this stuff, it's a good bet that the other one has.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:27 AM |
Miscommunication?
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vicryder
Posts: 831
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Personally, I think I'm becoming more tolerant about relationships as I get older. Although I am stubborn about reciprocation in that area. I don't think any relationship should be one sided in any aspect.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:30 AM |
Miscommunication? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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There has been a definite information overload, which is inhibiting people's ability to just plain talk.
 I think you are so right..
Sorry - kept getting a "Server Error". It won't let me edit my other posts either.
 no problem..won`t let me either.
Boy... talk about Miscommunication in today's society...
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:33 AM |
Miscommunication?
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wvbluebaby
Posts: 605
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i am not sure if it is a communication problem as much as moving slower in a relationship..taking the time to get to know the person..not jumping into the fire until you are ready to get baked...lol...the only way to know someone???communication...which means in order to know what you want, you have to know who you are
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:35 AM |
Miscommunication? |
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questioning1
Posts: 315
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It's very valid Tink. Communication skills are necessary in maintaining any type of successful relationship. This includes family, friendships, and love relationships.
It's very important to talk "with" another person and not at them.
It's very important to be open-minded and listen to the other person and hear them and not just be trying to get a point across.
Many people are too busy looking for what they can "get" from relationships instead of looking for what they can "give" to a relationship. If both partners focused on the giving part this would alleviate alot of problems.
One of the most important things in communication is validating the other persons feelings. This can be done by saying such things as "I understand how you must feel", "I understand this must be difficult for you". We all need to be there for each other at times. Communication is a key ingredient to successful relationships and we all need our feelings validated by those we love and care for.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:38 AM |
Miscommunication?
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BrokeLostUnhappyandHorny
Posts: 117
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Nothing has probably changed except you've gotten older. After while, you just don't want to put up with any ps***. And why should you? Been there done that.
Communicating has actually become easier. There is more information out there. Hell, you can even do a criminal online check of your dates if you want to pay the money.
You can get your own credit report online...some women demand that from their dates don't they?
As usual, it's always easier to communicate with someone who is good at communicating. Some of us have become complacent and sit in front of the TV with no other frame of reference. No more use for the thesaurus.
The world is one of sound bites, quips, brief online bio's and judgements are made quickly. There isn't much time left. Our lives are short. No need to argue or even talk with a potential mate if you find out they are, as with me, "conservative". Not meant as a slam but I face reality.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:38 AM |
Miscommunication? |
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Bojangles102
Posts: 478
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Does 'stubborn' mean that we're less apt to put up with someone's BS?
I want to make someone happy but I"m not putting up with an overload of BS. I'll take the proportionate amount that I give.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:40 AM |
Miscommunication?
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,370
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One of the most important things in communication is validating the other persons feelings. This can be done by saying such things as "I understand how you must feel", "I understand this must be difficult for you". We all need to be there for each other at times. Communication is a key ingredient to successful relationships and we all need our feelings validated by those we love and care for.
When my ex and I went through marriage counseling, it was suggested that we do this. Suddenly, we were saying "I understand how you must feel" - and pretty soon, it started becoming "I understand how you must feel, BUT" - after a while, we stopped saying "I understand how you must feel" because it became pretty obvious we didn't.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:40 AM |
Miscommunication? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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I think part of it stems from the changing roles of both genders. Women have become more and more independant and this is quite different from the past generations. No, I am not going to give a history lesson. For any relationship to work, it requires a compromise on both sides. In the past, relationships worked because women compromised more than men did and thats why it worked. Why? The role of women then were to always be second to men. They had to be dependant on men.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:41 AM |
Miscommunication?
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keeno
Posts: 2,363
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hey pete, stubborn is such a strong word, in my experience, i have found a lack of compromise, some of us are unable to fascilitate change in our lives or plans for the future. we all want a "perfect relationship" but are unable to see how or what our new partner has to do to be a part of our lives. just my thoughts, ken
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:47 AM |
Miscommunication? |
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BrokeLostUnhappyandHorny
Posts: 117
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Womens rights, independence or whatever you want to call it, has nothing to do with creating an atmosphere of miscommunication. That sounds like some religious nut trying to blame women's rights for deteriorating family values.
If anything, the independant woman has created MORE open communication. Most men don't want a subservient woman unless they are so insecure they can't deal with reality. Men want partners with women. Women who will compliment not be a subservient burden.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 11:55 AM |
Miscommunication?
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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the independant woman has created MORE open communication.
If there are so many more independant women who are more open to communication,then why doesn`t the Divorce rate drop instead of going up.Lack of communication is a big issue in many divorces..I`m not saying that this statement is wrong..just trying to understand. 
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 12:04 PM |
Miscommunication? |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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A lot of miscommunication is due to just plain arrogance.
Nobody wants to examine themselves and see how their "own" prejudices, intolerances, and aversion to change is impeding the relationship. It's always the "other" person's fault in this non-responsibility, avoiding blame society.
And this feeling of superiority doesn't seem to diminish as we get older -- only intensifies.
"Set in our ways" is just another way of saying "I'm gonna live my life the way I the F*ck want to, so either keep up, adapt, or get left behind".
[Edited on 2/17/2006 12:05 PM]
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 12:04 PM |
Miscommunication?
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BrokeLostUnhappyandHorny
Posts: 117
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You are insinuating that the divorce rate has something to do with independant women. That's absolutely insane. Why..how...where do you put the connection? It sounds WAY to much like someone from Bob Jones university for me.
Divorces are much easier to get now. Think, irreconciable differences.
People are smarter now. Why stay in an unhappy marriage and ruin your life. Getting divorced is not the end of the world or the end of anything but a relationship. It's highly overrated.
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 12:06 PM |
Miscommunication? |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Maybe it's the opposite. Maybe we communicate our real feelings so openly now that it causes MORE friction. Rather than to tuck everything and be accepting, we become honest. What we have to share may not necessarily be what the other person wants to hear. We end up having resentments.
Just a thought. 
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 12:06 PM |
Miscommunication?
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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"Set in our ways" is just another way of saying "I'm gonna live my life the way I the F*ck want to, so either keep up or adapt, or get left behind".
Good way of putting it
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| Feb 17, 2006 @ 12:09 PM |
Miscommunication? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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You are insinuating that the divorce rate has something to do with independant women. That's absolutely insane
No I`m insinuating that the Divorce rate is due in part to lack of communication..
and as Classy said:We communicate our real feelings so openly now that it causes MORE friction.
[Edited on 2/17/2006 12:15 PM]
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