| Feb 23, 2006 @ 8:43 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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Bojangles102
Posts: 478
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Countless times I've ask ladies why they've been alone so long and countless times I get the response "I guess I'm too picky'...With most every one on here looking for that special someone I would think that if we all have the same goal it should be easy to find someone.
"I guess I'm too picky".....what does that really mean?
Are we really too picky?
Do we over rate our own true value to what the opposite gender has to offer?
Are the fires within us dimming and our egos won't allow us to admit it?
Any comments please?
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 8:54 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,905
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Having allready been divorced,knowing that before I married her she was not who I truly wanted with me for life and being 50 years old,I'm picky.
Being picky isnt overrating myself,it is knowing not to want someone for any reason other than love.
Making the same mistakes twice are for those that arent picky.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 8:54 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Can`t speak for anyone else but its not a matter of being too picky with me..I leave all options open as far as what I`m looking for goes..then theres the fact that I`m not really looking all that hard any more..there are some things I don`t want in a man and if he has those qualities then hes not the one for me.My ego is just fine..unlike some I`ve seen theres is gonna burst its so over inflated.Thats not aimed at anyone just an opinion.One that I`ve formed from just observing people and reading profiles on here.But everyone is differant and has their own ideas of what they want in a person and can anyone really blame them? It is their choice after all.  
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 10:00 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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I think it boils down to not "settling" for someone despite the fact that you have a feeling it's not going to work out, but you just want to have someone, you don't want to be alone.
It more than likely also includes fear of being hurt...if you reject everyone, they cannot hurt you.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 10:13 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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It more than likely also includes fear of being hurt...if you reject everyone, they cannot hurt you.
Sooooo much truth in that, Sylvandreams. 
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 10:20 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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It more than likely also includes fear of being hurt...if you reject everyone, they cannot hurt you.
I think you said it all right there..the fear of being hurt.
Especially if you`ve been there done that.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 10:41 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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It more than likely also includes fear of being hurt...if you reject everyone, they cannot hurt you
Maybe that can be the case in some....but think about this also....maybe its just the fact of knowing what our needs are, what we have to give and the maturity to be patient...till the right one comes along........
When it's right between two people....each can sense, the others needs.....and have the patients to put in the time, building, a strong foundation of trust and respect....to then build something strong and health on...... 
Who we pick to be a mate....should be one of the biggest, most thought out decessions, we make in our lives..... 
I can only speak from what I see.(and this is not directed to all men)...but when men flutter from flower to flower....needing the stroking.....to boost their egos....doesn't encourage a Lady.....to hang around to see...if she is the one......just gives the impression....he really doesn't know what he's looking for......the one who gives him the most stroking? or the one looking for a man...looking for quality not quanity........Just my opinion.... 
I'm single by choice......content to wait for just the right one...
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 11:04 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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Bojangles102
Posts: 478
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but when men flutter from flower to flower....needing the stroking.....to boost their egos..
I would think that this is NOT the case for the vast, vast majority of the people in our age group.
"Fear of being hurt";
If that's the case why would a person present themselves as being on the market?......That would be a waste of everybody's time..
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 11:15 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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If that's the case why would a person present themselves as being on the market?......That would be a waste of everybody's time..
Market?..sounds like something that would be said about cattle..but then I have heard women being referred to as Heifers.. 
Because perhaps some are only looking for friendship..While others the ones who have been hurt before are willing to take a chance one more time..just because they`ve been hurt doesn`t mean they don`t want a relationship.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 2:35 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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Just because someone signs onto MD (which is, by the way, a "community for singles and friends") does not mean she is automatically "putting herself on the market" and looking for someone--right now, right away. Maybe, as in my case, it's a way to step back into the "social world" after several years spent raising children, a way of softening the transition.
I am enjoying the exchange of ideas and thoughts on a variety of "grownup" topics, while not being particularly worried about meeting "the one." I am "meeting" people who have given me new insights and thoughts to ponder on a lot of topics.
Avoiding being hurt is a primal part of self-preservation. However, another thought just occurred to me--it may not be fear of being hurt that causes a reply of "I'm too picky" (I assume this follows a rejection of someone), but rather a fear of hurting someone else.
By putting the rejection on herself (I'm too picky), a woman is spared hurting a man's feelings by saying he just is not the one for her. He could be a very nice man, a good person, and she just does not want to hurt his feelings.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 3:37 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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There's nothing wrong with being picky.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 3:43 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,905
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Thats right spongebob,who grabs the first apple in the crate?
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 4:43 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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weyout931
Posts: 37
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we all have the right to decide who we date or who we want to spend our lives with being picky is not a bad thing, but if you see or meet someone and u say i'm picky and then reject them you may have missed your chance a the greatest love of your life. being picky is different then selecting the right oerson for you.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 5:33 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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As I get older I am less picky about "stats", meaning looks, money, impressive job (I never gave a crap about cars though). But I'm even more picky about how a man treats me.
Being picky has kept me out of those situations like LTR's with men who are abusive or "toxic". It has kept me from wasting huge amounts of time on a bad relationship. But I have missed out on a lot of fun too...
I do hear from friends, "You are too picky" a lot, so I must be one of those women. A guy can be a lot of great things, but if he acts like I am supposed to kiss the ground he walks on or is not a lot of fun to be with , why bother?
Now that I think of it...I heard, "You are too picky" all the time when I lived in middle TN. The guys were not a match for me. When I got out of there I started meeting guys and do not hear it so much anymore. Maybe they are experiencing the same thing. Their interpretation of not finding a match.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 6:36 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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the_real_me_ok
Posts: 293
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A person, man or woman, should always, always be 'picky' when it comes to certain things. You don't just go to the store and grab things off the shelf whether you like to eat them or not do you? Maybe you don't read every label but you only buy what you enjoy right? So why talk do, or date, everyone who might be convenient, or available to you geographically or because they show interest or they might be physically appealing to the eye? Safety is always an issue for both women and men, past experiences have to be taken into account, we have to evaluate where we are emotionally and what we want for ourselves. It's just not that simple..."oh there's a good one, I'll take him/her". Sheesh.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 6:43 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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ladyraindove74
Posts: 290
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I wholeheartedly agree...being "picky" isn't a bad thing, it just shows that we have the wisdom to make choices that are better for us. Gee, I guess we're all livestock..."being on the market". Hmm...perhaps that fits...LOL...there's a lot of "animals" out here for sure...
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 6:57 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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When a man contacts me and/or in the course of the getting to know you phase....he says to me.........If you american women don't learn how to treat your men better and catter to them....your going to lose them, all to the foreign women...cause they know how to treat a man........hummmmm I'm gona get Dahum Picky.......and mark him right off my list.....
And if he presses the issue....since, I've already seen an unattractive side of him.......when he ask me why I'm still single......I'm simply going to say.....I Guess I'm Just Picky
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 7:44 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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walkingman
Posts: 639
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I think you have to be picky. I can't say that I will ever shy away from meeting people . To me I would rather meet people than say to myself " I wonder if she was really someone I should have gotten to know. . . There is alway's a chance of getting hurt in any relationship. I won't let that stop me at all. It is better to try and then never to try at all .I think the more failure's you have then the pickier you become. I have a mental list of what I want in women before I even decide to meet her. The benefit to meeting someone online is that you know up front what the person is looking for. I can't see any down side to meeting a person. I mean in the worst case scenario you are right back where you started from. I know for me , I take each meeting with a person and let it be a growing experience for me. I have had some really bad experience's meeting people online but that's just life. I will continue to meet people and take it all in stride.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 7:53 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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I know for me , I take each meeting with a person and let it be a growing experience for me. I have had some really bad experience's meeting people online but that's just life. I will continue to meet people and take it all in stride.
Jeff...  Great attitude and approach.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 8:30 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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For me it's not a matter of being "too picky"
I simply know what I seek, need and can give in a relationship at this time in my life.....knowing simply comes from past experiences, past choices, learning, growing and maturity.
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