| Feb 23, 2006 @ 8:36 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,621
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knowing simply comes from past experiences, past choices, learning, growing and maturity.
Knowing is key, for without this knowledge a relationship is almost surely doomed.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 10:40 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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altogirl67
Posts: 1,309
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I have to say, first of all, that I absolutely hate to be asked this:
You're so beautiful, you have everything going for you... why are you single?
That question, in and of itself, is doing absolutely nothing more than trying to find out what's "wrong" with a person when it is asked. It's not a compliment despite the complimentary build-up the actual question. It only begs for the person to say something negative about themselves. I mean really, think about it... what kind of "positive" response can you give to a question like that?
I don't think I'm picky at all. I know what I want and how much compromise I can make in certain areas. Honestly, the guys on this site and others that I find truly appealing in all areas usually live 1000 miles away. Most of the time it is purely geographical. I'm not single by choice, but there are certain parts of our lives that simply cannot be planned. I think if it were easier to meet people in person than resorting to the internet that relationships would happen more naturally. But alas... here I am.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 10:53 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,162
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I simply know what I seek, need and can give in a relationship at this time in my life.....knowing simply comes from past experiences, past choices, learning, growing and maturity. I feel the same as this quote.
One of the biggest Army Post in the USA is in my area. I am in competition with a little over 40,000 troops! Very hard at times to find a date, friendship and love here. Not impossible but very hard. 
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 10:59 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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Dwain, I would think that you would have a good chance of finding someone because some women are not into military types. I am not one of them, I love those uniforms, but I would expect that some women have dated a few military guys and it was not their cup of tea and they may want a different type. Maybe play it up in a profile in a non-demeaning way toward military, like " I don't wear a uniform, but I can ___" Or , I don't work in a uniform, but I would wear one by request!"
Something along those lines. I can't think of a good one.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 11:24 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,162
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First of all thank you for your advice. It was very nice of you for wanting to help out. In my profile you will read that I was military. So it would be hard for me to play that down. I never would anyways. They would have to accept me the way I am as I would them. Also it has been my experience that ladies who don’t like to date military men wouldn’t like dating ex-military men also. Just my humble experience.
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 2:40 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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Dwain... Also it has been my experience that ladies who don’t like to date military men wouldn’t like dating ex-military men also. Just my humble experience
there is lots of difference in dating an active military man and dating one who was military.........active means...they are subject to relocation, reassignment.....and the relationship coould be short lived.....until they are shipped elsewhere......
On the other hand....a former military man......has had some maturing experiences, traveled, gained some knowledge of the world, met many different types of people....and is generally more matured.......and lots of women would feel....if the relationship worked.....they would be more committed for the entireity.....and having selected one lady to settle down with.....would be a long term commitment......just my view point......I would think, given all those qualities....you would be very appealing to a lady.....as someone interesting and worthy of spending the time to get to know.....Just my view point.....
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 3:33 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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sweet5red
Posts: 10,219
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When a man contacts me and/or in the course of the getting to know you phase....he says to me.........If you american women don't learn how to treat your men better and catter to them....your going to lose them, all to the foreign women...cause they know how to treat a man........hummmmm I'm gona get Dahum Picky.......and mark him right off my list.....
And if he presses the issue....since, I've already seen an unattractive side of him.......when he ask me why I'm still single......I'm simply going to say.....I Guess I'm Just Picky
hehe well said sissycat.. they should learn how to treat a good woman. ( with respect and honor and honesty) and maybe a little nah a lot of pampering. sweet N Louisiana   .
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 7:37 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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Kat_luvr
Posts: 716
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It's my experience that I have NOT been Picky Enough in my past relationships.
I have only been on MD for a couple of months. But as I interact with people here and other places, I am finding the things that trun me off and those that I enjoy. As my profile states I am on a journey, and right now NOT looking to settle down.
I was never able to fully define what I was looking for. I fell for those things that pleased me, and overlooked the things that did not. That overlooking or COMPROMISING is what ultimately ended my relationships.
Never let it said I will NOT learn.....it only took me almost half a lifetime to do it.
Now I take the advice of my friend.... I will NEVER SETTLE. As i look to define myself I am also Defining What I Seek. ~ This is MY Current Process.
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 11:38 AM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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Bojangles102
Posts: 478
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Either you settle to be with someone or you settle to be alone.
Being alone in later years is much scarier than to use good judgement in my selection and work to make my mate happy.
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 5:32 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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Either you settle to be with someone or you settle to be alone.
Being alone in later years is much scarier than to use good judgement in my selection and work to make my mate happy.
Being alone, is so much better than being in the wrong relationship....just because one is needy, has to have someone, and is scared of being alone...now would that be considered paranoia?????....
Actually I sort of enjoy my own company....  but I will agree....having a loving, caring, sensual partner....does enhance life...   
But I can see why some men are having problems, finding a woman, who would SETTLE FOR THEM....... 
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 5:47 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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Jankia
Posts: 12,600
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sissycat- But I can see why some men are having problems, finding a woman, who would SETTLE FOR THEM......
or where they live!
It is quite difficult to find a lady that loves living in the country.
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 5:55 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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Jakia....It just takes one hon......there are lots of women...who would love to be in the country, with the man they love.. .... Its really not where one is....but who one is with.....dont you think???? It may take time....but you will find her....I'm sure.....you seem like an intelligent, great guy.
Good luck in your search
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 6:11 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Being alone in later years is much scarier than to use good judgement in my selection and work to make my mate happy.
I'm curious as to why being alone is scary? I've been alone, by choice, for some time now. I don't find it to be scary, whatsoever. What's scary to me is, to be involved in a dysfunctional relationship.
I take pride in being picky. I have settled before, and I suffered because of it. I am still single, because I made the choice to quit dating. Those who mentioned the hurt and pain, I agree with. When I love, I don't hold back. I was deeply hurt, and I couldn't stand the thought of going through it again. It tore at my heart and soul.
Once I healed, I began to weigh the price paid for loving. Was it worth putting my heart back out there and again experiencing the ecstasy, and anguish, of the emotions evoked by intense love? Even if it meant I would be vulnerable again and risk rejection? YES!!!
I'm treading cautiously and I AM being EXTREMELY picky. Just be glad the women didn't answer you by saying they were bitter.
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 6:29 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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Star22
Posts: 95
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One of the biggest Army Post in the USA is in my area. I am in competition with a little over 40,000 troops! Very hard at times to find a date, friendship and love here[QUOTE]
I also live within 10 miles of an army base, what I find is they seem to soooooo young....lol... also married, alot of retirees
also married or a lot older, just makes it harder but I haven't stopped looking.
Oh!! topic? I also feel I'm picky...won't just settle for that warm body
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 6:38 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Either you settle to be with someone or you settle to be alone.
Being alone in later years is much scarier than to use good judgement in my selection and work to make my mate happy.
I don't understand why anyone is having a problem with this statement. Waiting for perfection is probably choosing to be alone. Settling for someone who is less than perfect makes sense to me, since perfection doesn't exist.
Using good judgement in his selection would ensure that he is not in the "wrong relationship" or a "dysfunctional relationship", but rather a workable relationship, and he is willing to work at improving it. There is settling, and then there is settling. It's all a matter of how far short of perfection you are willing to settle for.
A little settling, with good judgement, sounds much better than being alone.
So what's the problem?
[Edited on 2/24/2006 6:47 PM]
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 7:04 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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 Yep, everyone’s favorite catchword – settling. That’s the point we get when being alone is preferable to being constantly disappointed…lol.
I understand all the underlying reasons behind the concept, believe me. I’ve heard them a thousand times, put a thousand different ways, in a thousand different contexts.
But I’ve also been on dating sites for years, and keep seeing the same women over and over again (probably the same with men, but I don’t date them).
It just feels that some (most?) people ARE too picky? Why? Because plain evidence suggests even though we emphatically profess wanting to be in a relationship, we’ve been single for not months, but “years”?
True, better to be single than in a terrible relationship, but come on peeps??? 
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 7:06 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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Mo,
On the internet....location and distance plays a big role....dont you think????
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 7:31 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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It does for me, sissy, but apparently not for a lot of people.
We've had several threads dedicated to distance and I always see a bunch of people come out of the woodwork saying distance is just a number, what's the big deal, I have no problem, shouldn't be a dealbreaker, why are we even talking about it?
Funny though, they're all still single?
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 7:46 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky".
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,959
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It's easy to say distance doesn't matter, but it has to be taken into consideration at some point. To up and relocate for another person, especially when you are older but not yet retired, can be a logistical nightmare.
So the person for whom one moves had better darned well be worth it. And then some. 
That said, when it's the real thing, ultimately location and logistics are merely the mundane part and shouldn't really matter at all. What is the purpose of being alive if not to share our life with our one and only? I, for one, say that there will be no such regrets on this deathbed.
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 8:04 PM |
"I Guess I'm Too Picky". |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Not all, Mo.
What about Katt and Haban??? It didn't stop them.
If I met the right man, I would move. There are, however, some places I couldn't/wouldn't live. I do have my eyes on some interesting men. I'm observing.  They have to pass my 'picky' test.
Abusive?
Abrasive?
Cheater?
Arrogant?
Unemployed (unless retired)?
Bad Hygiene?
Crude?
Self-Absorbed?
Married?
Pervert?
Which one of these negative qualities should I ignore, in order to be less 'picky'? Call me stubborn, but I refuse. 
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