| Feb 23, 2006 @ 3:33 PM |
Dating with Baggage
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girlseekingboy83
Posts: 49
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So here am I finally ready to start dating after being single for a few years. I’ve been testing the waters both on and offline in order to try and figure what guys are looking for. I felt personally I was finally at a good point in my life. I had a great job, friends that I loved and a family that supported me in every choice that I made. Soon though my life was changed. I went from being that 22 year old that helped my family out when they needed it too running the household, and taking care of everything when my father passed away on the 2/15.
I guess where I am going with this post is I wonder if there a wrong time to start dating? I have finally gotten used to my old life, and now it has changed. My mom’s been in the hospital for a month with no clear picture when she coming home which leaves me taking care of the house, and my 15 year old sister.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 3:57 PM |
Dating with Baggage |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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First of all, I'm sending you a hug for everything you're trying to handle right now, which makes me want to ask...do you have TIME to date right now? I understand why you want and need support, but is it a good idea to put more pressure on yourself at a time like this?
Now..as for the baggage....we've all got it...its a fact of life. Its what we do with it that matters. Do you learn from it, see what changes you need to make then move on, or do you drag it around with you like a ball and chain or even a chip on your shoulder? It sounds to me like you may not have baggage right now, you've just gotten kicked by life. Try to be kind to yourself, and see the love in the people around you. Email me if you need to talk to someone.
Hugs
[Edited on 2/23/2006 4:54 PM]
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 4:53 PM |
Dating with Baggage
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,625
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 Too you. You have taken on a big load. At your age, it is hard not to able to run around and have fun,,I know how that can be.
I really feel you are doing the right thing,,taking care of what needs to be done. When this part of your life is over, you will look back and say, I am so glad I did what I could.
It is hard for me to say much right now to you,,,feel free to e-mail me ok?
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 8:26 PM |
Dating with Baggage |
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girlseekingboy83
Posts: 49
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to answer you question about time. Some days I have the time and other I'm running around with not enough hours in the day. I guess I'm just torn do I want to drag a guy into this mess of a life that I am living? At the same time though everything that I have gone though in this past few weeks have taught me the meaning of friendship and life. I used to take my friends and family for granted that they would always be there for me, but I've learned the hard lessons that they aren't. I guess where I'm doing with this post is that yes I know how busy I am with life, and yes I wouldn't want to drag a guy into this hectic life that I live, but at the sametime I guess I would make the time. If I really had a good time with someone I'm always willing to make the time for them.
I guess I'm just worried about dragging someone into the mess.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 9:51 PM |
Dating with Baggage
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careless30
Posts: 63
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Honey good for you! You are a wonderfull person so never forget that. However if you are going to survive the stress, remember you have to take care of your self as well as you are taking care of everyone else. That does tend to include getting out and letting loose from time to time. I know it is hard but I would start by getting out with the girls. I wish you well and will keep you in my prayers.
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| Feb 23, 2006 @ 10:10 PM |
Dating with Baggage |
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7eternity
Posts: 223
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Girlseek,
It says a lot about you that you are a really caring person. Frankly, the guy who you'll choose will be a lucky one. Plus, you think that your family might be some baggage to your new partner. Sure, who knows, that's what he'd think, but someone alone like me is a baggage even if I don't really have anybody else to take care of. There is no such thing as a wrong time to start dating. You are aware of what you're coming back in the dating field with, and don't forget that your family comes first.
Good luck, 
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 7:18 PM |
Dating with Baggage
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girlseekingboy83
Posts: 49
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thanks guys for the post. I just it all just depend on the guys that I met right now. Some will understand my family come first most time, and some won't. Isn't that how life works anyway? Has for a night with the girls we have them as much as we can. This weekend though having a girl night in, and plan on getting wasted... I figure with all my stress a good drinking night might just be what I need.
Megan
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| Feb 24, 2006 @ 7:32 PM |
Dating with Baggage |
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ILLLOOK
Posts: 315
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Girl you are awesome and I will keep you in my prayers. I went though something of the same thing at 20 my dad took his own life and my 17 yr old brother came to live with me. It was tough to say the least. Now as for Dating it might be the break you will need now and then to keep your head about you. It will take a good guy though to see and understand your needs at this time in your life I wish you the best of luck.
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| Feb 25, 2006 @ 3:12 AM |
Dating with Baggage
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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I don't know how I missed this thread. You are going through things most of us don't have to deal with until much later in our lives. You have a heavy load to carry, but I'm impressed by your maturity level.
Normally, I would be more apt to advise you to take time for yourself, but I'm going to go against my usual advice.
When my sister met her 'now' husband, she had just had a radical masectomy, reconstructive surgery, and had lost her hair due to chemo. She had just gone through the worse experience of her entire life. The man she met looked beyond the loss of breasts and the balding. He saw the beauty within, and if any man can love you through an experience like that, he will remain through thick and thin. He saw the remarkable and beautiful woman my sister is.
If you meet a man now, and he can stay with you through some of your darkest hours, you will be one lucky woman. You will have no doubt in your mind how deep his love is. I say, keep yourself open to whatever may come.
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| Feb 25, 2006 @ 6:58 AM |
Dating with Baggage |
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walkingman
Posts: 639
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My heart goe's out to you. It is not easy being so young and having to deal with so much. I know you have alot on your plate but going out on a date from time to time may be just what you need to easy the stress. It will take a certain guy who will be able to stand by you through all what you are dealing with. You may wind up meeting that rare man who know's anything good take's time and is worth waiting for. I would just take it slow and see what happen's. I wish you the best.
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| Feb 26, 2006 @ 2:55 PM |
Dating with Baggage
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girlseekingboy83
Posts: 49
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thank you guys for your reply back. I agree that maybe dating is just what I need in order to keep my head above the waters. As for if I do met that one guy who stands beside me though this I know it will be the real love. I had something like that happen to me a five years ago, but it wasn't a boyfriend it was the best group of friends I could have found. My brother passed away 3 months before I left for college, and the people I become good friends with durning that part of my life still to this day stay by myside.
I guess it just a matter of finding the time, and meeting different people to see what really happens.
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| Feb 26, 2006 @ 2:55 PM |
Dating with Baggage |
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girlseekingboy83
Posts: 49
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thank you guys for your reply back. I agree that maybe dating is just what I need in order to keep my head above the waters. As for if I do met that one guy who stands beside me though this I know it will be the real love. I had something like that happen to me a five years ago, but it wasn't a boyfriend it was the best group of friends I could have found. My brother passed away 3 months before I left for college, and the people I become good friends with durning that part of my life still to this day stay by myside.
I guess it just a matter of finding the time, and meeting different people to see what really happens.
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| Feb 26, 2006 @ 3:06 PM |
Dating with Baggage
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Thunderscribe
Posts: 419
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Don't go looking for romance.
However, you do need a distraction from the serious aspects in your life.
Find a guy that'd like to date casually or just be friends. Not seriously dating, but just having fun.
My fear is that if you don't find a little diversion, that you'll become over-stressed in your life.
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| Feb 26, 2006 @ 3:13 PM |
Dating with Baggage |
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girlseekingboy83
Posts: 49
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Find a guy that'd like to date casually or just be friends. Not seriously dating, but just having fun.
I so agree with that statment. As much as I would love to find something long term ( I mean who really doesn't feel that way?) Right now I be just has happy with something fun. A nice little fling
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| Feb 26, 2006 @ 3:21 PM |
Dating with Baggage
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Thunderscribe
Posts: 419
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I'm sure that all of us here, even though most are rather far from you, would be glad to at least be an email buddy.
I've had similar experiences in my life. So I can relate to how you feel.
So, I'm glad to say mail me if you'd like to "talk".
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