| Nov 4, 2005 @ 9:36 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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prettiblueyes4u
Posts: 16
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I have tried to date a couple of times, and also I have tried to talk to men then when they hear I have a son living with me who is special (handicapp) they turn the other way. Why can't men except the fact that they need attenction and love to.
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| Nov 4, 2005 @ 9:44 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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SkiiFreak
Posts: 1
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Because men are shallow..........point blank....Not all but ohhh so many.. And yes I am a man but in my defense, I have raised my twin boys on virtually nothing for 15 years and we have had a blast.. In doing the mother and father thing I have a grasp to what the challenges women have faced.. But at the same time I wouldnt trade what I did for anything...My boys and I used to go up and participate in special olympics with the kids and they just light up my world... They are not the handicapped ones, us so called normal people are.. When I would see the smiles and love on the kids faces it just lights me up. They dont ask anything in life except to be loved.................
Paul
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| Nov 4, 2005 @ 11:28 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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BlueRoze
Posts: 26
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Hey ..... I've had hard time dating... even my marriage of 4 yrs (he left 1 1/2yrs ago)has been hard... I have a 3 children at home 13 yr old ADHD Boy, 4 1/2 yr old boy.... and the one that causes most to run in the other direction  is my 11 yr old girl (currently undiagnosed ... not for lack of try for past 10 yrs) who has alot of emotional/behavioral issues .... think i may finally be making head way with her (leaning towards getting tests done ekg's, pets, etc... for possible chemical imbalances and possible bi-polar)...
It has been darn hard dating before i married (was single since she was 3mths old) and it was really hard on my marriage as she and him were like oil and water as he didn't understand that she was a "spirited child" and didn't know how to react to her therefor he just gave up and left.... and not long ago I started dating again ... had one person who after 3 weeks just up and dissappeared... never to be heard from again ... The way I see things now I have one of two options...... date people who have been there done that and know something about what i'm dealing with ..... or just give up dating till she is grown up and moved away from home. Cause if any guy ever give me the option "either she goes or I go" my answer will always be "BYE BYE my daughter stays"
sorry for long rant LOL
wishing you the best prettiblueyes4u..... 
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| Nov 5, 2005 @ 1:28 AM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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mrwally1954
Posts: 144
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hey blue rose :
spose am lucky or un lucky all depens on perspective. been a sloe parent with out the spec needs end though understand ur position if it was me ,the child always comes first and to hell with those that cant handell it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Nov 5, 2005 @ 9:27 AM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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scottie721
Posts: 23
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Hi im scott.not all guys are shallow. i was married to a woman who's son has CF and adhd.i never missed one doc app. when he was in hospital i too a week vacation and slept on a couch in his room for a week. i gave him meds every morning before i took him to school.where was his mom sleeping.and they would rather live with me than her or their dad. so not all guys are shallow and dont care or help
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| Nov 5, 2005 @ 11:19 AM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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Bobbybluesman
Posts: 1
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Doesn't sound like those guys are worth your time. I'm especially sensitive to this issue because I have an autistic Nephew and a former girlfriend who had an autistic son.
Some people are not looking for people but situations which they find accomodating. This type of approach is self defeating.
Just my opinion.
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| Nov 5, 2005 @ 1:27 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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Calling men shallow because they won't date someone that has a handicapped child is the only thing I see as shallow.
A mother and/or father that brought a child into this world have a special bond with that child whether or not the child is handicapped. There are also plenty of cases where handicapped children are born and the parent(s) place them in homes because they simply cannot deal with the special needs.
While I wholeheartedly commend perttiblueyes4u for doing what I consider to be the right thing by her child, I certainly cannot condemn any man that would be extremely hesitant to enter into such a relationship, especially since the child is not his own.
I'm sure there are men out there that could handle this situation, I simply think they are going to be more difficult to find...
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| Nov 6, 2005 @ 8:07 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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cutesmartfunny
Posts: 3
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ADHD is a joke!!!
So they say your kid is suffering from ADHD
Tell me one thing..... which kid ISNT hype.... what kid dont, have a small attention span.
ADHD is nothing more than a bad parent that dont wann ahavta deal with kids.
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| Nov 6, 2005 @ 8:30 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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Guys are shallow? Please someone pinch me and tell me that ALL women are gonna run and date a guy with a handicapped child?
Hell, I have girlfriends who won't date guys with children, period. Let alone...
It's sad really. A child is a child. I couldn't imagine dumping a guy because he has a disabled child...
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| Nov 6, 2005 @ 8:32 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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medusa642
Posts: 62
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You just have not found the right one yet, keep the faith and keep looking, I was married 2 years ago, and he is great with my daughter, who was born with a paralized arm, she has gone through 3 surgerys, and many years of therapy. My husband is patient and loving with her, more than her real father. I will tell you though that it was a long road before I met my husband, most men do not want to deal with difficulty. Try meeting men who do alot of charity work, or are involved with volunteer work. Don't give up, you will find him. Stay strong. :)
Medusa
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| Nov 6, 2005 @ 9:31 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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with all due respect, i can't help but wonder what kind of guys you're talking to? are they average but nice guys or are you strictly talking to guys that you find "hot" or "really good looking".
There was a post on another board that made a lot of sense.....many people complain about how they only attract jerks or bad guys when in fact, it's just a matter of only being willing to date those sorts of guys.
if you want honest, real, genuine guys i'm wondering what sort of wrapping you're looking for perhaps....?
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| Nov 6, 2005 @ 9:40 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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exiled131
Posts: 1,808
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I will admit that I would never start a new relationship with a mother of a special needs child. It takes time and effort to build a relationship and from experience, you will not get that from a mother of a child that needs more attention. I expect a mate to put in equal effort into a relationship and will not settle for less. The truth may hurt but at least I will say it.
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 5:56 AM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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blackcat1
Posts: 86
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exiled131 I respect that u would never start a relationship with a mother of a special needs child,but I DO believe u to be wrong on what u said,yes it takes time and effort but them having or not having a child or that be a special needs child has nothing to do with it how the relationship gooes jsut shows that u werent wanting to take time and let it work.
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 6:18 AM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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Porsha924s
Posts: 192
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It is intimidating not just to men but woman as well but most often the mother is the custodial parent so it appears men are too afraid to take on your extra needs. Most men have a hell of a time taking care of themselves let alone a special child. So take that into account. Most of us have not been in a position to learn to be comfy around special people so it is frightening or intimidating so we run. It is not that we are cold and lack of compassion/understanding it is just that they do not know how to relate.
Then of course some are just plain selfish/lazy.
Look at it as extra baggage and perhaps you can understand why you have a hard time.
GL!
Dal
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 6:26 AM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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Porsha924s
Posts: 192
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cutesmartfunny....You may want to do some research on ADD/ADHD!
I do agree that some children are diagnosed as ADD/ADHD and are in fact not but there are those who actually do suffer it. Studies have proved that the ADD child/adult has a miss wired brain that causes ADD/ADHD. I can say from experience it is real just over diagnosed.
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 5:20 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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blackcat1
Posts: 86
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will agree with u 100 percent with that porsha
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| Nov 8, 2005 @ 10:39 AM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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singlemom37
Posts: 12
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cutesmartfunny, there are several degrees of ADHD and need to do research on that or be around a child or adult for that matter with true ADHD and then you would understand and i do agree that alot of kids are diagnosed with ADHD that may not have it and some dr.s are quick to put that label on a child but im speaking from experience as i do have a son with ADHD and its one of the most extreme cases of the ADHD along with other problems that he has but not go to post them for all to see but really think you should research ADHD before saying its a joke.....
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| Nov 8, 2005 @ 4:11 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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blackcat1
Posts: 86
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single will agree with you 100 percent,there are a few that are diagnosed and dont have it,but 95 percent do have it some may not have it as bad but its no joke at all,I have a friend,whos brother has HDHD,thats all real and its no joke at all
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| Nov 8, 2005 @ 4:55 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child
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singlemom37
Posts: 12
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thank you blackcat and when you deal with on a daily basis its still tough espically with other problems with it....but there is some medication out there that does work took the drs. three different pills to find one that works but its not a miracle drug just help deal some.... 
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| Nov 8, 2005 @ 5:16 PM |
Dating With A Special Needs Child |
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blackcat1
Posts: 86
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ysvw single yes u are so true on that it is still tough expecialy dealing with it daily basis,yes they are miracle dug...
but a true miracle will be when they find one one that will get rid of it for good
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