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When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish


Mar 4, 2006 @ 9:18 AM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
petminister


Posts: 21
I am seriously bummed. In less than a month, I've hooked up with three ladies, all of whom have vanished after about a few letters. These are not random hits; all of them seemed to be perfect matches. That is, according to both profiles, we had similar values and a lot in common.

I've tried to rule out anything I might be doing. On the first letter, I introduce myself and mention something in their profile that I liked. Maybe ask a question about it. In later letters, I ask one or two questions, and tell more about myself.

There's also my profile, which you are welcome to make comments on.

I'm stumped if I can find what is wrong.
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 9:32 AM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
Loreli


Posts: 25,418
Pet, I think your profile is just fine. Obviously they just weren't the right one for you. Heck, 3 opportunities in less than a month is more than many get! Give it some time, she'll come along.

[Edited on 3/4/2006 10:05 AM]
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 9:32 AM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
Lee_Danger


Posts: 4,517
Ok... first of all... you're bummed after only 3? Sir... I've had hundreds of false starts. Don't take it personally... these women obviously just didn't feel a connection with you... the two of you just didn't click.

You can't expect to come online and just like that find the one who is meant for you. It's gonna take alot more patience than that.

You'll likely have to go through hundreds of frogettes before you find your princess. Be patient, my friend.
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 9:34 AM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
spongebob777


Posts: 7,904
Once they figure out that I'm insane they run screaming for the hills. Such is life.
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 9:44 AM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
TiNkErGrRrRrR


Posts: 13,813
Once they figure out that I'm insane they run screaming for the hills. Such is life.




Its the internet Pet..things like that happen all the time..
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 10:39 AM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
someone_me


Posts: 506
pet, it's really very simple. You've failed to spark any attraction inside them. In your logic everything seems perfect as far as commonality and values, but that's not enough when it comes to women. It also has nothing to do with your profile. Once you start talking to a woman, it has to do with how you make her feel that will create the attraction. You've got to remember that women aren't wired like men are and don't approach this nor think about it the same as you do.

A lot of women on here will say all kinds of nice platitudes to you about hanging in there and just being yourself, but these won't help your frustration with your situation. Besides, these aren't women who are going out with you either. Take some time to learn about attraction and women (it's not the visual aspects like men think it is) and work to make yourself better.

When I first became single again (after 20 years of marriage), I was going out every weekend, usually on two or three different dates. After a few months of this, I was totally frustrated with my lack of success with the quality of relationships I was seeking. Once I pulled back and took the time to learn about all this and work on me, I haven't been frustrated since and enjoy it all much more.

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Mar 4, 2006 @ 10:42 AM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
Jankia


Posts: 11,914
Thats the real world of dating petminister.

It may seem like alot having three do that but meet three strangers on the street that you might like but their interest in you is only for a short time.
Meeting online is just alot faster,so three is a small number.
You just turn the pages until two alike find each othe
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 10:54 AM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
Lee_Danger


Posts: 4,517
That was really good advice, Someone_me
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 12:36 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
AngelLight


Posts: 5,620
"Take some time to learn about attraction and women.....and work to make yourself better"


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Mar 4, 2006 @ 12:44 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
walkingman


Posts: 639
I feel for you but at least you only have it happen with e-mail's. It is all part of dating. I really question how many women or men take a dating sight seriously that is for free. I find the it tend's to go in streak's. You may go a month without an e-mail and get 2 a day for a week. I like to take more direct approach and talk by phone after an e-mail or 2. My blog's tell of how that has not worked for me. I really don't expect to meet my match on here. I enjoy the forum's and really love to write blog's. I just feel that it's hard to get to know a person if you just e-mail . It lack's the element of emotion. There are some people that just can't express themselve's in writing but are wonderful at verbal communication. I alway's keep that in mind when I write to someone and they write back.
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 12:58 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
Thunderscribe


Posts: 419
1. Be confident. (Avoid appearing desperate)

2. Be interesting. (Don't try, just do it)

3. Have a good sense of humour. (Don't force the humor. Let it come naturally)

4. Just have fun and don't worry. Worrying causes fear. Women smell fear. Fear turns them off.


Of course these are very general guidelines, but they've worked for me over the years.

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Mar 4, 2006 @ 3:39 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
someone_me


Posts: 506
1. Be confident. (Avoid appearing desperate)

2. Be interesting. (Don't try, just do it)

3. Have a good sense of humour. (Don't force the humor. Let it come naturally)

4. Just have fun and don't worry. Worrying causes fear. Women smell fear. Fear turns them off.


See, you're learning about attraction already.
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 3:53 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
LSU79


Posts: 323
The biggest downside of a single's site, if you're a guy, is that the competition is fierce. I still thing it's a great tool for meeting new people, but it's unfortunately kinda like applying for a job, the women get TONS of resumes, pick a few of the best, interview them, then meet the best ones out of those. It doesn't mean you're not able to do the "job", it's just that the numbers are working against you.
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 3:58 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
someone_me


Posts: 506
Competition? I just tell the woman not to let the other guys know when she's talking with me, because then they'll all think they never stand a chance and start whining and complaining about it not being fair.

Oh look, confidence and humor in the same post!

Now if we can just start working on some guys' insecurities...
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 4:05 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
TiNkErGrRrRrR


Posts: 13,813
but it's unfortunately kinda like applying for a job, the women get TONS of resumes, pick a few of the best, interview them, then meet the best ones out of those. It doesn't mean you're not able to do the "job", it's just that the numbers are working against you.


I wouldn`t quite describe it as an interview...that would be kind of a cold approach.I write to many on here and its not at all like a job interview.I don`t ask a zillion questions its just general chat..likes and dislikes things like that..but interview..no way.Thats rude.
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Mar 4, 2006 @ 5:25 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
Pete73052


Posts: 19,370
Try not thinking so much about tapping your magic wand and you might do better with the ladies.
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Mar 5, 2006 @ 3:33 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
swingpup


Posts: 4,105
When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish


Some of us wish on occasion that we possessed that talent.
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Mar 5, 2006 @ 4:03 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
coiledsnake


Posts: 39
Piss on them, their memory is as valuable as the invisible ink used to create their profiles.
You just keep doing what you want, whatever the hell that is. Never, ever, ever, ever conform to the 12 step online courting subculture we all share some strange tie to. Don't take any of our advice, if it was working for us, we would not be here to advise you. Honestly, in all it's brutal splendor, you need to just say what you say, as you would want to. By changing your "style" of writing, or any other unseen behavior, you are inviting future trouble. You have to stand your own ground, even if youre the only one on it. You will either find the right one for a change, or you die a lonely person. And that's ok too, if all else fails I already have great spot picked out in the mall, so when I'm really old I can spit on all the happy couples walking by. Keep smiling.
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Mar 5, 2006 @ 4:13 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
GuruFromDaNorthPole


Posts: 13
The competition is brutal.
That's a fact. Many of the singles sites
give women FREE access so they'll stay.

I wish I had three encounters.
Those I get from China don't count.

You're lucky
Gotta hang in there. Keep trying. Re write your
bio once in a while. It appears fine but sort of
heavy..there's always room for improvement.

Show a pic of you smiling.

Show a pic of you doing the dishes.
That'll blow their minds.
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Mar 5, 2006 @ 4:40 PM When I tap my magic wand, the lady will vanish    
sissycat411


Posts: 1,248
Pet....sometimes is as simple as the distance involved.....try contacting women in your general area....the ones you can drive to meet...shortly after your first contact......let them know your really interested in more than on line chatting contacts...
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