| Mar 5, 2006 @ 5:22 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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sordofadonkey
Posts: 72
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What a shame. I was starting to fall for her. I thought she was going to leave him, but when the sh!t hit the fan, she ran home with her tail tucked between her legs. He found my number on her cell phone bill and called me and left a message wanting to talk. He was pissed alright, but said that since I was man enough to call him back and come clean, he wouldn't sucker punch me in public. I wouldn't blame him if he did, but my question is this: Is marriage practical these days if you're in your mid 30's or older and don't plan on raising anymore kids? About 1/2 the women I connect with are married. I'm divorced because my wife cheated repeatedly. I just don't trust anyone and have no expectations. I just enjoy moments for what they are. If your kids are already grown, would you get married again just for the sake of promising yourself to someone you care about?
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 5:36 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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If your kids are already grown, would you get married again just for the sake of promising yourself to someone you care about?
No way would I, that's not who I am. To marry for that reason and that reason only would not be, at least for me, a behooving situation. IMO one is able to promise themselves to someone they care about without the formalities involved provide those involved are in total agreement. Love, caring and sharing can as well as does arrive in many different dimensions.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 6:00 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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Jankia
Posts: 11,892
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About 1/2 the women I connect with are married. I'm divorced because my wife cheated repeatedly. I just don't trust anyone and have no expectations. I just enjoy moments for what they are. I
Correct me if I'm wrong but the gal you referred to was married and you wanted her to do the same thing your wife did to you.
Cheat on her spouse.
That is the only shame that I can see here.
Excuse my candidness here but how can you ever trust anyone,even yourself, when 1/2 of your women are married?
How long do you intend to trust a married woman who is dating you?
A sucker punch in public for you is quite tame.I suggest that to keep yourself 6ft above ground,quit dating married women.
In answer to your question...
Yes,marriage is practical,for the faithfull.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 6:20 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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sordofadonkey
Posts: 72
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I did say connect, as in an emotional and mental connection. We never had sex and I never asked her to cheat, but the potential was always balancing on the fence. I might add that when I met her, she told me she was married and I told her that I liked her too much and that I had to leave because of it. I did leave, but she followed me. This went on for 3 months. I never called her by my own initiative or persued meetings in person. She provoked the entire ordeal. I do have a small amount of morality left, but a guy can only take so much.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 6:26 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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I did say connect, as in an emotional and mental connection. We never had sex and I never asked her to cheat, but the potential was always balancing on the fence. I might add that when I met her, she told me she was married and I told her that I liked her too much and that I had to leave because of it. I did leave, but she followed me. This went on for 3 months. I never called her by my own initiative or persued meetings in person. She provoked the entire ordeal. I do have a small amount of morality left, but a guy can only take so much.
Sorry, this has absolutely no merrit with me. I am asked out continually by married men, some separated even. In real life and the net. And sometimes when I have been very lonely in a new place. If I gave them any room to get there they would be all over me. You are POSITIVELY as responsible as she is, and just as wrong. If some woman is that great a match for you you tell her to give you a call when the divorce is final.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 6:26 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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father_heart
Posts: 1,110
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Slow your roll bro, i dont think it was all like that.
Matters of the heart, strength and honor, doing whats right, being of deligence is tuff stuff.
Im sure your intent was well and honorable. Im sorry that you got stuck into that situation..
the only soultuion or answer would be gondi's
I dont put myself in that situation in the first place. Ya left, it should have stayedleft until that side got clear up. dont care if someone followed. You just dont answer the door. and if they kept knocking? just mean ya should leave the door shut.
to answer your question, Yes you should always be good to your promises, more so to the ones you make to yourself. Yet you do not need to wait for a certian time like as the kids are old enough. Just til it happens.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 6:28 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I thought she was going to leave him, but when the sh!t hit the fan, she ran home with her tail tucked between her legs
Hear the "going to leave" thing before and they never really do.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 6:36 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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father_heart
Posts: 1,110
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You are POSITIVELY as responsible as she is
TRUE but lighten up just a bit.
doesnt mean the mans heart still didnt sting. Or hers. Matter of romance without the benifit of medications is soo very painful, and mistakes happening are never seen til hinesight.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 6:38 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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Jankia
Posts: 11,892
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It appears that then you did the right thing by staying on your side of the fence. 
It doesnt have to be sexual to cheat.Even just an emotional and mental connection with another mans wife without the husband having some knowledge of it happening is not right in my eyes.
You said that you have your morality left......
Yes you should always be good to your promises, more so to the ones you make to yourself.
...remember those words and you'll keep it.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 7:17 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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walkingman
Posts: 639
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I can't ever understand the logic of dating someone married. She is married!!!!!!!. She can tell you till she is blue in the face that she will leave him. It seem's like she was just telling you what you wanted to hear . If women were to tell me she is married then I would tell her to get a divorce, then take some time to get over him and then contact me .In other wrod's I would never expect to here from her again. There is no excuse for dating a married women. There are alot of nice women out there. I can't imagine any single women who hear or read about what you did would want to date you. I would never date a women if she was seeing a married man before she met me. I could'nt accept any reason she were to give me for doing it. It is just wrong to date a married person no matter what the circumstance's are .
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 7:17 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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sordofadonkey
Posts: 72
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I dont put myself in that situation in the first place. Ya left, it should have stayedleft until that side got clear up. dont care if someone followed. You just dont answer the door. and if they kept knocking? just mean ya should leave the door shut.
That's easy to say when you hear the situation explained by a third party. I'm not saying what I did was right, but ideas formed in sterile environments are not the same as decisions made when confronting reality. It's easier said than done.
I know I'm at least 1/2 guilty. I'm not asking for sympathy, empathy or any sort of justification. I'm just searching for decision making direction in this 2nd stage of adulthood.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 7:29 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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father_heart
Posts: 1,110
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well my friend you already know the answer to that. Or you wouldnt have the question.
Brother been where ya are, have and on the other side. All I can offer is,
Like all this, so too shall this pass.
Walk your path brother
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 7:35 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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It's easier said than done.
No one said it was easy. They said it was right. It would be real damn easy for me to have started trouble in a few dozen marriages and been knocked up a few times by now. Seriously. But I do the right thing. Not the easiest thing. Can't cry for you, dude.
The answer is, no. It is not practical for you. But it is practical for me. And I am not even going to have kids. You will probably end more marriages than you have.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 7:51 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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GraciePa
Posts: 355
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You should of never but yourself in that situation to begin with. Why start talking to a married woman on the phone? You did talk about your ex cheated. If you think this woman was gonna leave her husband cause the chit hit the ceiling what makes you think down the road if she did leave her husband to be with you she would of remained faithful? My law is once a cheater always a cheater. 2 wrongs don't make it right. You said you had fallen for her. Thing is you have to rememeber some people don't start what they finish. Your luck thats all he wanted to do was to sucker punch you in public. You have to be very aware some go off the deep end when losing there spouse to another person, you could end up in a ditch someone dead. Time to scratch and move on!
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 8:05 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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sordofadonkey
Posts: 72
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It is just wrong to date a married person no matter what the circumstance's are .
True enough. Things just aren't so black and white all the time.
Has anyone here ever been in this situation for real?
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 8:13 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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Wulfchyld
Posts: 459
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About 1/2 the women I connect with are married.
Has it occured to you that you have become the very reason your wife cheated?
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 8:14 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Nobody will like this response, but so be it.
Cheating implies betraying a commitment. She had the commitment. She cheated. Sordovadonkey had no such commitment. He didn't cheat.
Why he would ever want a woman who cheats, especially given his history is beyond me, but it's his life.
Stupid? Yes. Wrong? No.
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 8:19 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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I dont put myself in that situation in the first place.
Bingo, FatherHeart!
I know I'm at least 1/2 guilty. I'm not asking for sympathy, empathy or any sort of justification. I'm just searching for decision making direction in this 2nd stage of adulthood.
My guess is that you're learning, and very close to the RIGHT decision for that next half (you'll be much more content, I assure you ...life's just too short to invest in emotional bankruptcy)
1/2 the women are married? Um, just because they're 'fishing' doesn't mean you HAVE to bite!!!  Nor does it mean you have to be the great white knight and rescue ANY damsel in distress -- concentrate on the other positive attributes of knighthood  -- then you're apt to find a princess that's not in need of your armor, but appreciates your amour instead.
btw, I'M not married, O-So-GorgeousOne! 
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 8:23 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!!
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Has it occured to you that you have become the very reason your wife cheated?
Are you saying the cheater is not responsible for her own actions?
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| Mar 5, 2006 @ 8:26 PM |
My girlfriend's husband busted her!! |
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Wulfchyld
Posts: 459
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She can not cheat if there is no one to enable it.
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