| Mar 8, 2006 @ 6:47 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
ipodguy
Posts: 1
|
I had met this girl online and we really seemed to kick it off on the phone and have been talking almost every night approx for a month.
Since i think we have good conversation and we do have a certain banter, i had just recently told her i wanted to meet her up so we could talk face to face...the only thing that really has been annoying me is that most girls who i have met in the past who do live out of town and i decide to meet typically have some excitement you can hear in the voice...i dont hear that from this girl and im almost thinking it may not be worth it to go..esp since i will be making considerable expenses. Dont get me wrong i dont mind spending money, but am i wrong that i hope a person be somewhat excited that i am coming for a face to face date??
is this common or am i just getting nervous...(mind you i have only dated 3-4 women and all for barely a few weeks at time)
|
|
  |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 9:23 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
SwaggerNStrut
Posts: 173
|
It could be that she's really nervous too. Give her the option to back out, and say you'll understand (even if you don't). It's very scary for women to meet someone online.
I know, I know, well then what are they doing on a dating site, blah blah blah. I don't get it either, but whatever. It might also be scary for her cause you don't have any pictures posted. I would hope by now you would've emailed her some pics.
Anyway, give her an easy out, and if she's interested in meeting up, tell her you want to meet in public. Tell her what you'll be wearing so she can recognize you in public, give her your licence plate number, and tell her to tell a few friends where and when you'll be meeting. This will make her feel safer.
And yes, she could just ditch you once you spend all that money to meet up with her, but that's the chance you need to be willing to take. Sometimes you just can't avoid a bad day, so embrace it.
Good luck.
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 9:29 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
|
I agree with what he^^^^^^said.
Good Luck! 
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 9:30 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
|
Be sure to boot up.
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 10:40 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
DestinyAngel49
Posts: 516
|
You said you have been talking on the phone almost a
month now.
I would say that both of you have got to the point that you
are comfortable with each other.
I would just be up-front and ask her if she is ready for you
to visit.
You never know... Maybe she's just not ready or maybe
she has something going on in her life right now... That
she needs a little more time.
I feel that you should just ask her... To ease you mind.
Otherwise... It's you that is going to be wondering if you're
making the right decision and if you are making the trip
just to find yourself disappointed.
Good Luck on whatever you decide.
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 10:45 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
Jankia
Posts: 11,895
|
Thanks DestinyAngel49 
I was just going to say the same.
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 10:47 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
Hiwayman54
Posts: 95
|
Why not ask her to go "dutch treat".If nothing else you will find out in a hurry if she TRULY believes in EQUALITY between the sexes,isTRULY independant,And BELIEVES in fair play.
Its the quickest way I know how to separate the BS artists from the ones only looking for a free meal. And you will save some of your hard earned bucks.(something any woman should admire). LOLOL (
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 11:00 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
RAKS37
Posts: 617
|
Why not ask her to go "dutch treat".
Whatever else you may do
Don't do this
She has possibly had her expectations trounced a time or two. Might explain the nonplus attitude.
Either that or she just doesn't know how to break it to you about her weener 
[Edited on 3/8/2006 11:05 PM]
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 11:05 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
sjpinatl
Posts: 671
|
I agree..No on the Dutch, and ...She is likely to have had some bad experiences with online dating. But you know what? If you are interested in her and smile at her and maybe even compliment her a little, I bet she will be at ease! And she might just fall for you!
If I had a little tip, it would be to make sure you do just a little something that makes her know you like her(if you do in person) because it is hard on us women when the guys do not give us a clue until near the end of the date.
Try to let her know that you want her to have a nice time and you will do great! It is amazing how often it seems like an interview and the guys forget to have some fun!
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 11:10 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
|
You may also want to consider talking to her another 2 or 3 times WITHOUT bringing up the subject of a visit and a face to face encounter....1) to see if SHE brings it up (that might tell you if she is excited about meeting in person or not), and 2) to keep her guessing...i.e., let her chase YOU a bit, and perhaps she'll feel a bit more anticipation about meeting you in person.
Just my penny & a half's worth.....
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 11:15 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
RAKS37
Posts: 617
|
Groan
What would be so josh darn wrong with say.
I 'm really looking forward to meeting you, but you don't seem too excited.
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 11:17 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
Jankia
Posts: 11,895
|
Yep! Thats good advice too Jester.
On some occasions the less you say the better,just listen,she will bring it up again in not hearing you do the same.
If she doesnt,then you know.
Take your time,you know what they say about good things.....
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 11:21 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
Hiwayman54
Posts: 95
|
LOL you guys are to easy on em LOL
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 11:38 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
|
Groan
What would be so josh darn wrong with say.
I 'm really looking forward to meeting you, but you don't seem too excited.
RAKS - THAT would seem to be the "civilized" way to go about things. But I've done that my entire life, and it seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You tell her she "doesn't seem to excited" and for whatever reason, all of a sudden she's NOT too excited.
Don't say anything at all for awhile, and two things can potentially happen:
1) She'll want what she thinks she can't have any longer, since mum's the word with you; and
2) By not saying anything, the face to face meeting is something that you WANT, but not something it appears as though you NEED, and it would seem to me as though (even though nothing's changed within) you'd be perceived to have a greater level of confidence, which increases your attractiveness in the eyes of most women.
Okay, I'm ready for a tongue lashing (or ready to give one?   )...all seriousness aside now, folks, I'd love to hear from the ladies on this one, to tell me just how far off base I am....
Tink is starting to rub off on me - this IS a learning experience!
|
| |
|
| Mar 8, 2006 @ 11:40 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
|
Take your time,you know what they say about good things.....
...uh....something about coming in small boxes??????
(My apologies, Jankia - I just couldn't resist!)
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 9, 2006 @ 10:58 AM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
|
It could be that she is just being cautious. She has gotten comfortable talking to you, and now you're going to pull her out of her 'comfort zone' to the next step--meeting.
Unless there are other signs that she is drawing back or losing interest, I would not put too much emphasis on a perceived lack of excitement in her tone.
|
| |
|
| Mar 12, 2006 @ 3:11 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
sjpinatl
Posts: 671
|
Did you go out already?
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 12, 2006 @ 3:23 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
|
Tink is starting to rub off on me - this IS a learning experience!
Really..and I didn`t even feel it.. 
and yes it is a learning experience..
|
| |
|
| Mar 12, 2006 @ 3:36 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!!
|
|
JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
|
Tink is starting to rub off on me - this IS a learning experience!
Really..and I didn`t even feel it
Really? I'll have to try again, then....what a shame you didn't feel it. It felt incredibly nice....
|
|
| |
|
| Mar 12, 2006 @ 3:50 PM |
meeting an online person for a first date.....help!! |
|
milesgone
Posts: 2
|
go on and meet her ....
just keep it as a friendship. the rest will develop naturally.
I went all the way to slovakia to see a girl..
we are still friends... U got to try, or you may never get any where..
|
| |
|
|