| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:07 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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raykl
Posts: 566
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This is from a male perspective- all ladies feel free to mirror image if you so choose or if you swing that way- go with it..
But I, as all of us nosey ones agree, have a tendency to check out pictures and profiles when someone posts (you know you all do). Some I see and go "DANG', why is she available?
I realize that beuty is in the eye of the beholder, but:
So you look at the profile and see nothing bad there.
Now you get out the magnifying glass and look over each word to try and figure out "What the heck is wrong with her- just too good looking to be desperate enough to go on a dating site".
At this point I could send an email and ask her why such a lovely lady can't find a man in the real world and receive a reply that would no doubt answer that question  , but
I just move on in wonder.
There was an email that made the rounds awhile back that showed this sexy young thing in a thong bathing suit and the caption on the bottom said "No matter how good looking she is, somebody, somewhere is tired of her schitz". Probably answers this whole thread, but I'm not erasing it now....
Anybody else wonder this after looking at photos?
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:11 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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fineartist
Posts: 124
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I've noticed the same things, raykl. Though I don't usually wonder "what is wrong?", it is certainly a possibility that enters my thoughts for a split second(along with the other thoughts all jumbled up in my noggin', hehe). I don't know if it's just me but it's not only the fact that the photos show lovely woman but when I see genuine smiles too, I think, "Who is the lucky person destined for her?". I've seen a lot of pretty people in photos but they don't always have that sincere smile, you know?
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:25 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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sweet5red
Posts: 10,237
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I've seen a lot of pretty people in photos but they don't always have that sincere smile, you know?
well there might be "horns" holding that halo up.. 
I wonder myself sometimes Why am i still single.. after 7 years divorced. I feel that im Not a bad lookin lady ( not a gorgeous) well unless you look in my heart and see the real beauty... ( i dont think some guys know how) they are lookin at that "outter shell" I mean if im wrong tell me but it just seems well you know what i mean.. Sweet N Louisiana 
I mean im sweet, sincere, loving, tenderhearted, passionate, and a great cook.. among other great qualities :)
[Edited on 4/4/2006 12:26 AM]
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:26 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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HarleysB_WV
Posts: 860
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Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder and it doesn't really matter if you're male or female. I don't "swing that way" but if a woman is nice looking there is no shame in saying so.
But I do see what you mean. I've seen pictures and read profiles on here and often sat here and wondered, why is that person single?? They should be beating them off with a stick.
I think some people's self esteem prevents them from seeing themselves as beautiful enough to deserve someone who is so beautiful to them. They think, why would someone as gorgeous as them be interested in a person like me?
Me personally?? I know I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world.(NOT fishing for compliments so save it,,,,just using myself as an example) (christ i hate having to type stuff like that just cause some idiot is gonna take it all wrong)....lol. I'm ok and I get by and therefor tend to steer towards the men that (for some reason) I see as "get byers" as well. Kind of like "sticking to your own class"......silly as that may be and sounds kind of juvenile. But we had this conversation at an internet party this past summer. That was just one of the things that was mentioned about why some people who seem so beautiful to us might be alone.
I definitely need a  now!!!
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:32 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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swingpup
Posts: 4,104
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Oh for sure......Not only read and have viewed such profiles, have been involved with such. A women can be a "10" in the looks department, a 3 in personality, a 2 in passion and a 1 in the goal arena. If she was averaged out she might be a 5 overall. The actual score card reads; Rate, WFPS, Early, BRK, Late, Speed, Class, FIN, Form, ACP, Spots, FPS, Compu, Grade. 
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:37 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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sweet5red
Posts: 10,237
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Well ty sweetred! Now put down that beer and step away from the bar!!! lol
LOL i dont like beer.. it might be more a white zinfandel or a daquiri.. :) once in a while.. Sweet N Louisiana  
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:39 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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sweet5red
Posts: 10,237
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The actual score card reads; Rate, WFPS, Early, BRK, Late, Speed, Class, FIN, Form, ACP, Spots, FPS, Compu, Grade.
ummm swingpup WT Hello was all that????? Sweet N Louisiana 
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:51 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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sleeping_beauty
Posts: 464
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I knew I've answered this question a zillion times before and my answer is and has always been the same. I came here to do some research and not to fish.  I don't think i'll have difficulty in finding one. In fact, I've dated some but i usually don't try to commit to anyone because I'm still enjoying my current lifestyle and have no plans of ending it rightaway. Maybe i still haven't found the perfect one for me so....and i don't intend to find him yet as i'm busy with fulfilling the goals i setup for myself. 
and far as the other photos are concerned, i think there are many reasons why they can't find their match although they're real beauties. guys who approaced them are usually not their types or the wrong ones or they have higher expectations and these expectations are readily not available so the waiting time have become enormous.
i hope that answers the question.
regards,
Sleeping_Beauty
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 12:58 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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RareQuestor
Posts: 3,069
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Could this be considered an example of the cliché that men are often intimidated by beautiful women? 
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:02 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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keeno
Posts: 2,363
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Dysfunction
The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
from despair.com
i think i have said it before, we are all someones ex's, hence the reason we are all still here. 
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:02 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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sleeping_beauty
Posts: 464
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huh! in what sort are they intimidating you? that question isn't directed to me right?
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:05 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,104
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Truly "beautiful" women unfortunately are extremely difficult to discover. It seems to be either incredible looks and not much else or everything else and decent at best looks. 
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:09 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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fineartist
Posts: 124
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I was once like many other men of my generation in that I was "trained" to rely not only upon visual appearance but also a certain type of visual appearance as the mark of beauty. In a world where more than before, information bombards all of our senses, it is an increasingly difficult thing to avoid. Consider the visual and aural stimulation we encounter in media such as the television, radio, books/magazines, and the Internet. In one way or another, we are being "educated" to accept certain standards through almost forced familiarity to things such as the "ideal" standard of beauty.
At the risk of sounding like a snobby artiste I will say that, at least for me, studying art(and walking the path of seeking to create) helped enlighten me to beauty. Not just to see it but to open my perception to the possibility in finding beauty in places where one may not immediately think to find it.
In art, whether it is painting, music, sculpting, basically anything creative, the majority of the "work" behind the creation is mental. As an artist(in training ), I've learned that before executing the creation of my "vision", I first must observe and then conceptualize. In observation, I must look beyond the superficial in order to truly "see" my subject. I must learn to not isolate but look at the "big picture". In conceptualization, I must contemplate not only what I've observed but what I wish to create. All of this happens before I make even one mark on my sketchpad, newsprint pad, or canvas.
I've realized that this process also applies to other aspects of my life where my senses have become dulled due to taking the world around me for granted and for not being pro-active in immersing myself in living my life. When I began to look around me, I didn't just look, I was able to see more than the immediate. When I observe my surroundings, especially people, not just women, there is always something I can notice that makes them "beautiful". It could be something as simple as a physical feature or their posture, the way they move, or the inflection in their speech.
I wouldn't blame people(guys and gals) for not knowing "how" to see the beauty in people. It is something that is usually possessed by the young, who have an undiluted perspective, and the older(not to be confused with "old") who have the wisdom of experience to guide their vision.
I agree with Harley. Self-esteem and how we see ourselves is also a factor that I've considered when asking myself why an attractive(to put it mildly) woman didn't "find" someone yet. The irony is that those who are the most beautiful within and without do not always see what is clear to others while those who are the most undesirable in character and/or appearance look into a warped mirror every day and see a pristine reflection.
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:15 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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ChgoSingleDad
Posts: 292
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Beauty...
I find myself wondering why some of these women are on here...and then I began to think, which is a dangerous thing sometimes.... but, anyway. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, always has been, Beauty is like art, it's all subjective. Some people are moved by VanGogh's self portait, they see a troubled, struggling genius... I see an idiot who cut off his ear... see my point? All that aside physical beauty is just that, physical, it's the wrapping paper, so to speak. There's also beauty is someone's character. Years ago, there was this one girl that ran with the crowd I hung out with..she was gorgeous, but her personality was so nasty, and so, just, crappy. I never saw her as beautiful, I really never did, because of her crummy personality.
When I look at profile pictures, I am always drawn to the eyes. The eyes say everything. That's where I can tell what kind of personality might lie within. I saw one photo, the woman was beautiful (well to me, anyway) as I looked at the main photo, and the 4 others that she had... I noticed something... in each picture she was smiling...but she wasn't smiling with her eyes... the look in her eyes said more than the smile on her lips. she looked like she was overwhelmed by life, and was carryng a burden on her shoulders. Someone whose eyes light up when they smile that's what gets me....you can see that they are a happy person, That's what I look for, the smile in the eyes.
I often wonder why I am single..... and then I stop, I don't want to get that depressed. But it is frustrating...it's all about keeping hope out there. Sometimes, some people can't look beyond the physical... alot of mena are like that, and so are some women...but it's their loss if they don't want to stop by and see what else someone has to offer beyond the physical... Remember, the physical beauty is the wrapping paper... you have unwrap the package to see the beautiful things inside......
So, when is somone gonna unwrap me???/  
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:18 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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RareQuestor
Posts: 3,069
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huh! in what sort are they intimidating you? that question isn't directed to me right?
No. I was wondering if the original poster's habit of wondering why beautiful women are still single is in fact an unconscious defensive measure: "She is too beautiful to be single and available and hence there is no reason for me to risk rejection."
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:31 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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ChgoSingleDad
Posts: 292
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When I observe my surroundings, especially people, not just women, there is always something I can notice that makes them "beautiful". It could be something as simple as a physical feature or their posture, the way they move, or the inflection in their speech.
Fine_Artist is right...he said what I have been trying to say all along...I am a photographer in my spare time... yes my subject, generally, is trains, but I also photograph sunsets, and clouds... there is subltety to beauty, it needs to be looked at closely... not coldly analyzed, but held with the eye and examined... When I am out to shoot pictures, I decide before I leave what I am looking for... The background is as important as the subject. with out getting to technical or, whatever, I look for certain things... the lighting, the colors of any trees in the background... Perhaps it's near sunset, and the sun is a golden yellow, that brings a warmth to the all the objects, do I want to take it zoomed in, or not? When I am setting up a shot, I take all of this into consideration. Same with sunsets, I look for the subtle color changes, the reflections off clouds, and ground objects...maybe there's the vapor trail from an airplane up there, and the sunset makes it look like a golden streak in the sky.... it's all of that.
I learned to appreciate women's beauty by simply watching them. I am people watcher when I am out... how a woman carries her self says alot to me... like the eyes, body language says alot. It's a combination of many factors that will attract me to someone, I take them all in. On this site, since all we see are one dimensional photos, and the words someone writes, it makes it harder, but again, it goes to that picture again...is she smiling, does she look "happy" or confident? It's all in the subtleties....
Wow, two posts from me in one night...don't you all feel lucky???
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:39 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,597
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Beauty?
I always remember what "Fred Sanford" said, "Beauty may only be skin deep, But Ugly goes to the bones"
its not just looks, Attitudes, Actions, Morals, Etc... can make a very Ugly person...
I.M.H.O.
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 1:56 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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sleeping_beauty
Posts: 464
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No. I was wondering if the original poster's habit of wondering why beautiful women are still single is in fact an unconscious defensive measure: "She is too beautiful to be single and available and hence there is no reason for me to risk rejection."
thanks for clarifying.  i thought it was directed to me.
as for taking the risk, there is a quotation that i love.
if there is no risk, there is no glory
also if you can overcome this:
Survival of the Fittest, Elimination of the Unfit.
I really can't understand why men are usually intimidated by beautiful women. As far as i can remember, the guys i've dated aren't that good looking but they carry certain qualities that i really love such as the voice. I knew i could easily get attracted to one without even looking at their faces but by listening to their voices. Reason why i dated at least 3 DJs Besides, one should never really worry whether he/she is good looking or not coz when love strikes, it can make anyone the most beautiful woman or the most handsome men in this whole universe. At least so as i believe.
This is the siggy i'm using in one of the developer's site i currently moderate:
Do you love me because I am beautiful? Or am i beautiful because you loved me? -- Cinderella
regards,
Sleeping_Beauty
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 2:00 AM |
Beauty or is it Me?
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fineartist
Posts: 124
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ChgoSingleDad! It's great to find kindred spirit and artist.
Everything you've written is like an echo to me of what I was taught. When working from a subject, I have the same considerations. I remember when I was taking my first steps in my training and thinking "So, what do I need to do to copy this model?". That naive and foolish thought, as well as many others, were swept away as my instructor informed us that while accurate representation of the subject was important, so was using that information of "the moment" in part with creating our own vision. We were educated to recognize, consider, and utilize elements such as the composition, background, foreground, and lighting in order to create accurate yet unique work. Twenty students observe the same model but we all come away with work that is distinctly our own while being unmistakably recognizable as having a common subject.
I've learned that art is life and life is art. When my awareness was finally awakened/educated, no one was mundane in my eyes because what was once trivial is now significant in my eyes. It's funny how a change in perspective can turn things around so much.
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| Apr 4, 2006 @ 2:39 AM |
Beauty or is it Me? |
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lacyvsq
Posts: 6,808
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I think there is a fallacy in the basic presumption that single is available. Beautiful women who are single may be unavailable for many reasons. For many years, I looked for a man of whom my father would approve. It took a long time to realize that no one was good enough for any of his children. Then I had to decide what kind of man I wanted for me. I found myself attracted only to unavailable men -- married, geographically unavailable, emotionally unavailable. Why was I attracted only to unavailable men? Because essentially, I was unavailable. I had a terrible fear of commitment. Does that mean that I was only beautiful on the outside? Or shallow? Too picky or discriminating? I don't think so. It just means that I am still single. Am I past my fear? I really don't know.
The bottom line is that we who are on this site are single because on some level -- at this point in time -- there is more in it for us to be single than to be attached. That can change very rapidly for some -- maybe more slowly for others and not at all for some.
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