| Apr 6, 2006 @ 9:40 AM |
Sense of Adventure.
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ChgoSingleDad
Posts: 292
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Okay, so this subject has probably been "threaded" to death.. But here it goes. When I do search for available females in my area (Chicago) on this site and others, I seem to run into some of the same things. I search for someone between 34-43, and when I look at what comes back, questions begin to form...
What exactly is a "sense of adventure?" Are you looking to go spelunking, snorkeling and sky-diving, or are you looking for someone that likes to do things on the spur of the moment, like go downtown, and try a restaurant that serves a cuisine that neither has had before? And what's this about wanting a "touch of the bad boy" (as elaborated in one profile) And wanting men that have motorcycles?
I am not complaining, I am just curious, really. Sometimes the wording can be intimidating, and can turn off potential suitors. I know from experience that everyone is not as dynamic, adventurous, and spontaneous as their profile would lead one to believe. Also, the dreaded "financially secure" requirement comes up, I see it more often than not. Now, is "financially secure" another word for "wealthy" or, is it someone that has no serious money problems? i.e overflowing with debt, and can't make his payments.
Or, on the other hand, is it the woman is looking for someone to take her away from her hum drum life? It's hard to tell, and sometimes that wording can be a little intimidating, and I know that people who post profiles on here, are looking for a mate, and therefore are going to post the qualities they desire most. But, by coming across that way, I think those women (and the men who do it too) are limiting themselves to potential mates...
Again not complaining, just curious really. When I do a search I tend to read almost every profile, unless it has no photo.... Any thoughts?
[Edited on 4/6/2006 9:46 AM]
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 10:11 AM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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unless it has no photo.... Any thoughts?
Aren`t you or anyone else limiting your search though when you pass over those profiles that have no photo?..I read them all..photo or not because you can always request a photo...who knows people may be passing up the one for them by limiting their search to just photos...just a thought.. 
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 12:43 PM |
Sense of Adventure.
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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I am thinking that financially secure would mean, having a job and being able to pay bills. Just my opinion though.
A touch of "bad boy"? A good man that knows when to play the "bad boy". To be a little naughty maybe.
Some one with out a picture, could be still alittle scared of putting one up on the world wide net. Have you thought about what they look like? If this person sounds like some one you would like to talk to or meet, then email them. Talk a bit and then maybe ask them if they have any pictures. Good luck, some times that can back fire. They might think you won't like the way they look.
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 1:02 PM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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looking for someone 5'8 to 7'0...
 well I`m looking for someone taller and I`m only 5'3"...but thats just my preference...but not 7' tall...don`t much care to stare at a belt buckle.. 
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 1:11 PM |
Sense of Adventure.
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HarleysB_WV
Posts: 860
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All very good questions chgo!! I agree with Tink on the photo thing. I read ALL profiles that come up in my search or from people who send me a wink or an e-mail.
In my "opinion" a sense of adventure is being willing to try new things. Not necessarily bungee jumping, but something that they've never done before and would be willing to try. I have a sense of adventure and would love to have someone to try new things with.
In my world the "bad boy" and "motorcycle" go hand in hand. I prefer that the man have a motorcycle or the desire to have one someday. I love to ride and it has been a very big part of my life as well as my children's, as such I have no desire to give it up.
I agree that wording can cause you a moment's pause, but I always try to look at it from the profiler's perspective. I don't ask how much money they make or if they are employed. I read their profile. If they have employment listed thats all I need to see. I won't go out with anyone who isn't employed. I make enough money to keep my children and I comfortable and we don't go without. However, I don't want a man that isn't readily able to contribute to the relationship or that I have to shoulder ALL of the financial burden. As long as they are employed the rest is incidental.
After answering your questions I'd like to tag a little one back (other's may answer as well or tell me I need to start a new thread or find where it already exists)......
Why do men send winks or e-mails to women who are NOT what they have listed as the person they would like to meet?? i.e. Body: they select slender/petite/average/ etc etc..............I am a Plus size woman. (No shame here though).....but they send me winks and so forth. Why?? I'm not what they are looking for. Just wondering on that one..lol
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 1:32 PM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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Wow...
I've had the same questions in my head as well... and I have found in my experience, it doesn't matter....
Some women, no matter how much money you make, or have, it isn't enough....
Other women, don't care how much, or how little you have, as long as an effort is being made, in fact sharing the struggle is sometimes more satisfying at times...
my current status of being broken, and on pension... isn't one that draws many women...
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 1:39 PM |
Sense of Adventure.
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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in fact sharing the struggle is sometimes more satisfying at times...
 yes it can be..it gives a feeling of togetherness..of being able to share without the thought that one has more then the other when it comes to finances.. Being equal...
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 1:39 PM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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I have asked men that I've met in person what they do for a living, but believe me, its not to determine how much he makes. I've found that if you get people to talk about their jobs, they relax and open up. For me, its a "tell me more about you" kind of thing, so maybe that's why women ask it in emails too. As much as we don't want to admit it though, what we do for a living does give someone another insight into who we are.
I will have to remember though that I should ask their name first. 
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 2:11 PM |
Sense of Adventure.
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,622
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I will have to remember though that I should ask their name first
Yay Annie! 
Well, I'm pretty explicit in mine...yes, to spelunking, scuba, snorkeling, sailing, skydiving and anything else anyone might think of. For me it's all about attitude though; trying something different, keeping an open mind and being willing to explore mentally as well as physically.
I don't have financial security listed but probably should. I've run into the problem where men seem to feel at a disadvantage because I'm in a better financial position than they are...it doesn't bother me, but it would probably be better to avoid even meeting if it's an issue for them.
It's always going to depend on the specific person though, what adventure means to me, especially at this stage of my life, is going to be a lot different from what it will mean to someone else, especially if they're still in the child-rearing or even caretaking to parents stage.
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 2:50 PM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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I do not have "a sense of adventure" listed on my profile, but upon thinking about it, I came up with two thoughts: one, she does not want a couch potato who sits and watches TV, or always does the same thing--goes to the same restaurant whenever going out to eat, does not want to try anything new, etc.
Two--maybe she is sexually liberated and wants a guy who is willing to try new things in that arena (geez, I can hear the stampede of guys looking for women who have "a sense of adventure" listed.....  )
I will have to remember though that I should ask their name first.
Annie--I think you should definitely ask for their name first. Then, you can say, "Well, (name), what do you do for a living?" Makes it more personal and individual and warm.....
J/K I think you are correct in saying that asking what someone does for a living is a good way to find out a lot about him/her. It does not have to mean you're a golddigger looking for a sugar daddy...does not have to have anything to do with how much that job earns.
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 2:53 PM |
Sense of Adventure.
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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who knows people may be passing up the one for them by limiting their search to just photos
Hey Tink, you never requested my photo.  ( )
Chgo, you've been very observant in picking up some common themes in a lot of women's profiles. A lot of these things; sense of adventure, touch of bad boy, financially secure, tall, confident, humor, will generally have to do with one thing, ATTRACTION. They are things that women are attracted to, or think they are attracted to.
If you are intimidated by them saying these things, it probably means you have some insecurities to deal with or just don't understand about women and attraction. You might not be the wealthiest or tallest guy out there, but does that mean you can't strike attraction in a woman? There are other factors that can create it in women as well. Attitude can be everything in this area.
I generally read a woman's profile and then toss it out. If I want to talk to her, I'll write to her because if I can strike one of the "attraction" cords inside her (depending on what I want) it won't make any difference in what she says she wants. Attraction is something you can't control or choose, you either are or you aren't attracted to something or someone.
I've been out before where there was a beautiful woman that had all kinds of guys, better looking and had a lot more money than I, hitting on her and asking her out. By night's end, it was she who was asking me out. Why? Attitude. I was able to create some kind of attraction in her where these other guys couldn't.
Bottom line, if these kinds of things bother you, do something about it and learn to be the best you that you can be. Don't sell yourself short or start making excuses or putting the blame on all the women. Women don't think like men and attraction works differently for them than it does for us.
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| Apr 6, 2006 @ 3:00 PM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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who knows people may be passing up the one for them by limiting their search to just photos
If someone wants to send me a pic thats fine but I don`t do the requesting..I talk to those with or without a photo..I don`t limit my search...to just ads with photos...
Hey Tink, you never requested my photo
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 2:10 AM |
Sense of Adventure.
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ChgoSingleDad
Posts: 292
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Bottom line, if these kinds of things bother you, do something about it and learn to be the best you that you can be. Don't sell yourself short or start making excuses or putting the blame on all the women. Women don't think like men and attraction works differently for them than it does for us.
Well, let me clarify, these things don't "bother" me, I was just curious as to why alot of women post like that. There really isn't too much in the way of insecurities either, I am pretty secure in who I am, what I can do, and what I am capable of. I am not intimidated either, it just seemed to me that perhaps these women were limiting themselves, or trying to zero in on one particular type of man. . that's all. ..I am also not making excuses either, someone_me... all I did was post a curiosity. I am an observer for the most part, and when I see something that ticks my curiousity, I ask about it to see what other people think, and get their opinion, if anything just to start debate, or get someone else's thoughts on the subject.
Also, a note on reading profiles. I do read the ones without photos as well, and I don't dismiss them. What I meant by the ones with photos, is that those catch my attention first.
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 2:55 AM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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sleeping_beauty
Posts: 464
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I knew i used the dreaded financially secure in my profile. Why? is it a mortal sin? Will i be buried in hell for pointing out that i want to start life with someone who is debt-free? And yep, not necessarily wealthy or rich but someone who has a JOB or has the capacity to keep himself alive without becoming parasitic. And nope, i didn't limit myself just to good looking guys nor did i mention adventurous. I clearly said someone who is a good cook, who is willing to do the laundry, clean the floors or massage my tired feet. Are they too much of an asking.  And of course, the looks and other stuff belongs to the options area and are very much negotiable depending on the intensity of my heartbeat.
regards,
Sleeping_Beauty
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 2:59 AM |
Sense of Adventure.
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RAKS37
Posts: 617
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I clearly said someone who is a good cook, who is willing to do the laundry, clean the floors or massage my tired feet. Are they too much of an asking.
so do you make em wear heels while they're doing this
[Edited on 4/7/2006 3:57 AM]
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 3:56 AM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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oh I thought you were saying you were a good cook, and willing to do the laundry.....sorry lol
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 4:42 AM |
Sense of Adventure.
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sleeping_beauty
Posts: 464
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nah! my life in Japan the last 10 years have been this way: Eat Out, Take Out or Call In Order.... and hence my preference for someone who can cook delicious food! I don't cook. I can only fry an egg or make coffee. besides i believe that all chefs in this world wanted me to taste their cooking so....... :P
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 9:47 AM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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Aren't those things sort of those "stock" profile phrases that have been used so much, they don't have any real meaning anymore?
Like, "I like long walks on the beach, and cuddling by the fire." Yea...don't we all. Tell me you'll take the trash out without being asked or expecting my undying gratitude, that will impress me more. Or, admit that on Friday nights, the most active thing you want to do is reach for a bowl of popcorn because you're too pooped to move.
I admit, I read most profiles with a very jaundiced eye, but the only ones that really turn me off are the very negative ones. "I'm looking for a woman who won't screw me over!", etc. Okaaaayyyyy.....moving right along....
Then again, I'm one of those women who state very specifically that I like tall men, and I get enough grief over that.
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 12:13 PM |
Sense of Adventure.
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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my eyes tend to glaze over as I read profiles, so many of the same "buzzwords" .....
Wouldn't it be special, if we all had to wear labels? LMAO... "Needy, Insecure, Clingy", or "Selfish, cold, distant"... "Spends to much", "Skinflint"...
hmm, I see a new thread... lol
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| Apr 7, 2006 @ 12:35 PM |
Sense of Adventure. |
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HarleysB_WV
Posts: 860
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grumble!!
Just thought I should note here (since I can't find my EDIT button anymore)........Living on a pension wouldn't turn me off from a person. After all, they DID work to get a pension!!
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