| Apr 10, 2006 @ 11:56 AM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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ezzangel
Posts: 59
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Recently a young gentleman on the MD site used the forums to vent his frustrations about being “stood up” by a young woman he had met on this site.
I am this girl.
I wasn’t planning on coming forward, and was planning to be mature and be involved in his shenanigans on this site. I was just going to be the bigger person. But I feel after reading some of the things that were said I need to present my side of the story – the other perspective.
I met this young gentleman online. I thought he was sweet, genuine, kind and always made me laugh. We talked for a while and discussed meeting. Although I was nervous, I agreed to meet him. We talked online and then I gave him my cell number to arrange the date. We arranged the date to be held three days later.
In between the time we made this date and the actual date, he asked if he could message me. I agreed, thinking he meant just to confirm the date etc…
In his thread he said that he messaged me like three times. That “like” makes the difference. He messaged me EIGHTEEN times in those three days. “What are you doin” “What ya up to” “Who are you with” – you get my drift. I think all women can agree that is a little scary so I backed out. I politely told him that the constant messaging was a tad obsessive and I thought we should rethink the date.
Well we all know what happened after that. He got annoyed and made a thread on this site that was HORRIBLE. I was named horrible names, which I felt was undeserved. I felt betrayed, hurt, humiliated and angry. I was nice about it – how could he come in here bashing me like that? Luckily that thread has since been deleted.
He apologized, I apologized and we talked. I agreed to see him again, though I must admit I was a little more than hesitant, especially after his behavior last time.
I was all ready to see him – outfit picked out and everything.
The afternoon I was to meet him (yesterday) I was admitted to hospital with severe cramping and bleeding. I suffer from acute endometriosis, a condition I have had to battle since I was 12. This is not the first time I have had to be hospitalized after such an “episode” as I like to call it. Unfortunately they removed my phone from me when I was admitted and was unable to contact this man I had plans with. I was not too worried as I thought our plans were not set in concrete and planned to message him as soon as I got my phone. However apparently he thought otherwise…and returned to bashing me on this site. In front of everybody. AGAIN!
So I am still in hospital as I type this (thank god for laptops!) and will be checked out this afternoon hopefully. I hope this gentleman reads this thread and understands that I did not set out to hurt him and I thought he was a nice, genuine, cute, sweet guy. I still do! But the constant bashing of me not only here but through email as well makes me feel betrayed and I don’t know if I can continue contact with him unless he apologizes.
And to all those people who contributed to his threads – this is for you too to understand what actually happened.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:01 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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What a gal!!! 
I've been bashed here on a blog, and know how hard it is to come forward and put a face and name with the person, but felt so much better afterward, as I'm sure you will too. I really admire you for stepping forward today, especially from the hospital! Hope you get released soon and all goes well for you.
wow...still amazed that you came forward! 
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:04 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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ezzangel
Posts: 59
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thanks annie..I wasnt planning to but you are right - being bashed like that...no one deserves it!
I will be fine - but I hope this raises some awareness of endometriosis as well - so many women suffer from it yet not many know about how badly it can affect your life (particularly your love life)
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:12 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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richmondcowgirl83
Posts: 1,062
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I had a feeling it was you by the way you were having little comments on the situation on the other threads.
I'm going to simi come to drew defence. Sorry if I insult anyone on this. After reading his threads, profile, & a couple of e-mails it plain for me to see drew is a bit insecure. He's had girl trouble before & its somewhat turned him off of the dating scene. He's been hurt several times by girl online & in person. We've all been there. Due to those insecurities he has jumped to conclusions about you standing him up again. Did you tell him that you have health problems & it might have been a factor in your meeting? I've had this problem myself, as I am hopitalized pretty much every other month due to health problems I have. I've learned that it is something when meeting someone in person I make known before hand (mainly due to if we go out to eat I can't eat curtain things). A very vocal insecure man without all the information is a very dangerous thing. Just a thought.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:15 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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ezzangel
Posts: 59
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I didnt let him know beforehand because...well guys dont exactly like hearing about girly problems like that...the mere mention of the word "menstruation" generally makes them all cover their ears and sing veeeery loudly to block it out.
Plus the way in which it has affected me romantically beforehand has made me wary about telling other potentials.
I understand what you are saying richmond...but there is still no reason he had to make it so public and say such hurtful things about me.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:28 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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rosebowl
Posts: 285
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Well ezzangel some guys who care about people will actually talk to you about everything and anything. I know this because I am one of those types of guys. I will have a converstation with a woman about anything because I do care. I think a woman should be treated with respect and not used or thought as toys, trophies or prizes. Well that guy who created that forum is an ass for not treating you with respect and understanding how you feel.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:32 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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ezzangel
"A nice, genuine, sweet guy" does not bash a woman or anyone else for that matter.
And you still think he is nice, genuine and sweet after what you've shared? (yes, you stated "I still do!")
Move on girlfriend!!! as a nice, genuine, sweet, mature guy knows how to properly communicate with a woman, and how to appropriately handle his feelings in reference to his contacts with her.
You deserve better
[Edited on 4/10/2006 12:33 PM]
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:32 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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ezzangel
Posts: 59
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he is not an ass - just angry.
But he is jealous I will give you that - he was jealous about me innocently flirting with a guy on here! The guy lives like 1000 miles away and he got jealous! Plus everyone flirts on here - with everyone!
Some guys are willing to talk about it, but in my experience not many are willing to talk about my problem.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:34 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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rosebowl
Posts: 285
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Well I am here for you. Lay it on me and I will try to help you
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:35 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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ezzangel
Posts: 59
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You are right angel - I should not be willing to even try and communicate with him.
But he is all these things usually - just not when he gets in here apparently! But he does need to be better at communicating maturely with me - though I guess he could argue that I could have at least called or messaged him or something and that I was being immature.
I get released in 45 minutes! 
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:45 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Doesn't sound to me that you could have messaged or called given the emergent situation with your health.
Go with your initial gut ezz.....you felt the text messages were obsessive and possessive and angry.....you already know what you know.
Stay close to your Truth....it will serve you well!!!!!!!
Hope you're feeling better by the way and that you stay well!!!
Blessings for recovery and Love.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:50 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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beachfront
Posts: 29
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After reading the other topic(s) and this topic I have come to the conclusion that both of you are partially to blame for this whole episode. Assumptions were made and I feel that had some open communication been made before hand none of this would have happened.
We all have some baggage. That is what makes us who we are. Between mistreatment from people in the past, and crappy relationships without full communication, assumptions are made and they are not always the right one.
I'm sorry, but I believe that you should have told him that you have heath issues in the beginning. I am not saying give all the details, but at least explain that you have a health issue that may effect certain things. If he could not accept you with a health issue than he is not the guy for you.
There are a lot of us guys that are not going to put our hands over our ears and sing when issues like this are discussed. A lot of us, including myself, look at the whole person, not just the looks. We can be caring, empathetic, sympathetic, and very good listeners.
I hope you get better soon and I wish you all the luck in the world in finding a guy who will treat you with all the respect that you deserve.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:58 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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"There are a lot of us guys that are not going to put our hands over our ears and sing when issues like this are discussed. A lot of us, including myself, look at the whole person, not just the looks. We can be caring, empathetic, sympathetic, and very good listeners."
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 1:03 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,909
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Hello,I also know whom you are referring to ezzangel and AngelLight's opinion saved me from adding anything else.In my opinion take her advice.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 1:20 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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[QUOTE]he is not an ass - just angry.[QUOTE]
I'm worried that you aren't taking the whole guy into account here. Now granted, I've not talked to him personally like you have, but got to tell you, his posts here show that the guy has major anger problems. Please look at the whole person and not make excuses for him.
[Edited on 4/10/2006 1:26 PM]
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 1:23 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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ezzangel
Posts: 59
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I am not making excuses for him at all - what he did was sooooo not cool.
But his anger and his lack of ability in terms of communicating effectively do worry me so I am going to take things real real REAL slow and not jump into anything at all just yet.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 1:27 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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richmondcowgirl83
Posts: 1,062
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For those of you who are saying he's bad person & what now. How many of you have actually talked to him? This is the only person on here when I had the day from hell who actually e-mailed me asking about my day & what could make it better. He is a sweet caring nice guy with issues.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 1:31 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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beachfront
Posts: 29
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I am not making excuses for him at all - what he did was sooooo not cool.
But his anger and his lack of ability in terms of communicating effectively do worry me so I am going to take things real real REAL slow and not jump into anything at all just yet.
Myself and others are making comments based on what we are being told and I am under the impression that we are not hearing the whole story or there is pieces of the story missing. Regardless of what is missing from the story, go with your gut instincts. They are always right.
If you are having this many doubts, move on. There are many more guys out there that will not treat you this way.
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 1:32 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something...
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ezzangel
Posts: 59
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Where are these guys beach?
Would love to meet them lol!
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| Apr 10, 2006 @ 1:38 PM |
Just wanted to clear up something... |
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ezzangel
Posts: 59
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OK I did it.
I just told him that although I think he is a nice guy I think he needs to sort himself out before he jumps into something esle that could affect another person.
Its obvious that the problem and the issue is not just me and I dont particularly want to become involved with someone that can say those things about me but still not think he was "bashing" me at any time in these forums. If anyone saw his first one - you know what I am talking about. But I did say that I would still like to talk to him online as a friend.
So any guys from Boston looking for someone fun to hang out with - dont be afraid to contact me!
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