| Apr 11, 2006 @ 11:53 AM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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DrewinJersey
Posts: 36
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Branched off from another thread, because I hate thread-hijacking. Why do some people hold the opinion that if a girl sleeps with a guy early on, that it somehow will doom a relationship and that the guy won't respect her? As if we're all that shallow. I personally have more respect for a woman who's willing to either lay her cards out on the table and go "I think you're very nice, and I want you", or just makes a move and lets nature take it's course, than someone who frets over what other people think about her, or sets an arbitrary rule(like the 3rd date rule; hate the 3rd date rule; if you want to sleep with me on the 1st date, why don't we?).
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:08 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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Atone74
Posts: 335
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if you want to sleep with me on the 1st date, why don't we?
Because in our society, woman are looked down on; It does not make it right. Your still very young and have alot to learn. If she wants you and want her, waiting will only bring that much more excitement for the both of you when it happens. The passion, the chemistry the love making itself will be worth the wait...
I'm all for the 3rd date or even a month later. I will only have that much more respect for her, beause she did not let her sexual interest take over.. But waited untill the time was perfect..
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:15 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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lj450
Posts: 9,550
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Oh horsesh*t......you just told everyone how shallow you are by saying that you think poorly of a woman who has sex when she feels like the time is right (whether that be on the first date, or the last). I can respect a woman more if she does what feels right to her, rather than letting society dictate how she should act.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:18 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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DrewinJersey
Posts: 36
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Um, no. Just because I'm younger and you disagree does not mean that I "have alot to learn". Sexuality is a part of human nature; I have much more respect for people that are willing to admit that they like sex and are able to understand that romance and sex, while not mutually exclusive, are not automatically tied together and that some men will respect them either way as long as they're strong and confident about themselves, and not waiting out of some misguided sense of societal judgment.
And AMEN, lj.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:21 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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Atone74
Posts: 335
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But, at least she can't say I do not respect her.... Shallow... I call it morals, values and a good up bringing. Just my $0.02
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:30 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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DrewinJersey
Posts: 36
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See, I don't like that statement because it implies that people who're willing to date independent women who're comfortable with their sexuality, and not stifle them, somehow disrespect them, when it's people who take the tact you're taking, Atone, who do them a disservice.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:32 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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Some individuals women as well as men are in fact more open and relaxed with their sexuality then others. The sexual maturity as well as the comfort level that one possesses is simply that. If you don't respect a woman after one rendezvous then why would you after twenty-one? Respect for all most certainly should be the rule at all times.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:33 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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lj450
Posts: 9,550
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You will see alot of that on here......people saying what they think will make them attractive to others. He's right, some people do have alot to learn, but age has absolutely nothing to do with it.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:34 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Unfortunately, it's the age old double standard that has not changed that much over time.
While a guy is often still thought of as a "stud" or "sowing his wild oates" if he is sexually active, a women is often still considered a "slut" if she is active.
As one gentlemen put it on another thread, some men's insecurities kick in if a woman is active.....he wonders, "how many guys has she been with?".....as if it does not matter how many women he's been with. It's an ego thing for some men.
Some men want to believe that the woman he is with is still a virgin even though he is not, and if she is not a virgin or is sexually active she might be considered "dirty". The guy is not "dirty", but she may be considered as such. Therefore he may have sex with her but deep down consider her "used" and one that he wouldn't consider for marriage or one he would "take home to meet his mother".
It's a huge hang up. Don't know if it will ever change. It's deeply embedded in our society and culture. But of course, not all men feel this way.
As lj450 said, "I can respect a woman more if she does what feels right to her, rather than letting society dictate how she should act"
And swingpup
[Edited on 4/11/2006 12:38 PM]
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:36 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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Atone74
Posts: 335
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Well go bang bang bang.... Live your life to the fullest.. If sex is more important then chemistry, peronality, passion, loyality, honesty and trust..... Go get her tiger.. Who's to say to you, live your life differently... Sex is apart of any relationship, its gonna happen, the choice is when...
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:39 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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DrewinJersey
Posts: 36
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You will see alot of that on here......people saying what they think will make them attractive to others. He's right, some people do have alot to learn, but age has absolutely nothing to do with it
Oh trust me, I've already seen this dog-and-pony show on here, man. But have no fear, Atone's promised to "teach me a thing or two". 
chemistry, peronality, passion, loyality, honesty and trust
Can all be had, even if you have a great night and end it with a passionate, honest roll in the grass at the end(or in the middle, or a third of the way in). Honest Atone. I've done it before.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:43 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,692
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But, at least she can't say I do not respect her.... Shallow... I call it morals, values and a good up bringing. Just my $0.02
  the more you talk atone the more i like you.. i will say this there was a fella that i dated fora while and something happened between us and then he dissapeared thats why i act like i do at times and i am old fashioned so be it.. Not changing now... i trust until given a reason not to.. sweet N Louisiana
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:43 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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Atone74
Posts: 335
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Yep... I've banged many many women, not proud of it, but along the way I broke many hearts. And untill you have a broken heart yourself, you see things differently.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:47 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Atone.
And yes, as always, the choice is when on the part of both parties.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:49 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,692
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Can all be had, even if you have a great night and end it with a passionate, honest roll in the grass at the end(or in the middle, or a third of the way in). Honest Atone. I've done it before
and it sounds like you will continue to be a user.. your the ONE with the attiitude.. ( a bad one) ewwwww and i agree you need to grow up and find there is More to life than sex.. and do your thinking with the head on your shoulders.. instead of well most on here will know what i mean.. ( sorry people had to vent) sweet N Louisiana
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:51 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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I think the right thing to do is not to sleep with each other until it feels right for both of you, no matter whether it's the 1st date or the 50th date.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 12:51 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,951
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I am an independent woman who is very comfortable with my sexuality. However, I have something called morals.
I used to live the lifestyle you are describing and it made me feel nothing but disgusting and dirty. It's not because of what people said about me, but because I believe that sex and sexual actions belong to people who are in love and committed to one another.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 1:01 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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DrewinJersey
Posts: 36
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And good for you for making that choice, but that's what it is; a personal choice; now, do you look down on people who don't share that view? Would you find another woman disgusting, say, a friend of yours, if she went out with some guy on a date, slept with him, and they kept right on dating?
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 1:02 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude?
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willsmalto
Posts: 3,645
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choice! choice! choice!
I'd love a woman even more when she does the right thing(what we both need) at the right time and at the right place with the right person(me--cos theres that chemistry between us).............irrespective of it being either the 1st or the nth date
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 1:04 PM |
OK, what in the hell's with this attitude? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,951
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drew, no i wouldn't. what i would find disgusting is if she met a guy, slept with him, and then never spoke to him again....and then kept repeating the pattern.
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