| Nov 14, 2005 @ 4:35 PM |
How can I trust again
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slaprock
Posts: 3
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I was very true to my wife for 14 years and 2 kids.She decieded she wanted the single life again.After the divorced I found out she had always had a lover.Now Im still single after 6 years and its lonely here.I know most women are not like that but I guess Im just scared and dont want to go through that again.....Any advise.....OOO Im from Georgia
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| Nov 14, 2005 @ 5:02 PM |
How can I trust again |
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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You can't hit the ball from the dugout, as almost crass as that sounds it's the truth. Get back in the there and talk to some women. You'll find that a good woman will be able to show you that not all women are like your ex is.
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| Nov 14, 2005 @ 5:39 PM |
How can I trust again
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Very good question. There's often a huge change that comes over a person when they find out they have been misplacing their trust - especially when it is over the course of years. The good news is generally speaking, time eventually heals this. As we get older, we reevaluate what it means to truly trust someone - and find that trust is something that we do more for ourselves than for the other person. When we choose to trust someone, we give them the responsibility for their own behavior. It makes live easier. Think of it this way - the worst thing that could happen in a relationship is not trusting the other person. Trusting them, and then finding out they are an asshole is way less significant.
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| Nov 15, 2005 @ 12:47 AM |
How can I trust again |
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buni
Posts: 966
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It is hard to trust after something like that, but the best thing to do is make some friends, have some fun and take things one day at a time. Don't focus on the trust issue so much as enjoying yourself. Eventually you will learn to trust again.
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| Nov 15, 2005 @ 1:38 AM |
How can I trust again
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DEVIL_U_KNOW
Posts: 113
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 very well put buni, don't think i could have said it better myself.
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| Nov 17, 2005 @ 12:33 PM |
How can I trust again |
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conny90045
Posts: 142
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One day yoou will trust. Just give it time. It takes time to heal. You will be fine. 
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| Nov 17, 2005 @ 12:40 PM |
How can I trust again
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,933
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Pete73052,,,,You hit the nail on the head!
I finally let myself trust again after many years. Now he has my trust, my heart and my soul. I gave it freely too.
I have to say to Slaprock,,,,,I am so sorry that after that many years you had to find this kind of thing out. Now, with that kind broken trust, it would take me along time to trust again. Good luck to you, and yes, you will trust again. 
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| Nov 17, 2005 @ 2:05 PM |
How can I trust again |
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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slaprock, do as your name suggests, take out a rock and slap yourself upside the head. And then mutter the words, "Wow! I could have had a V8!" 
Seriously though, yes, it hurts. But you know what? There's a whole lot of life to be lived out there and you have the choice to either dwell on the hurt or pick yourself up and join the life that's been passing you by while you dwell on what's happened to you. Is it easy? No. But you can do it. Time helps. So does making the decision to make yourself a better person and work on things that will get you where you want to go in life. Let right now and the future be your focus. You can't change what's happened, just allow it to make you better. Sitting around wondering and dwelling on it won't.
Many people allow fear to be the motivating factor in the decisions they make. I want to love again, but I'm afraid I'll get hurt. That's not the healthy way to do it. Wisdom and knowledge are much better ways to operate. Use them to help you get a better grip on your emotions and conquer that fear. Just remember, there can be no courage when there is no fear. Be courageous, you can do it! :)
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| Nov 17, 2005 @ 2:44 PM |
How can I trust again
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slaprock
Posts: 3
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Good advise people and thanks.I know it will be hard but I'm strong and I know I can do it....Thanks
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| Nov 17, 2005 @ 5:36 PM |
How can I trust again |
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misskitty56
Posts: 33
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Buni is right..after my ex left me after I got hurt,well, 2 years later,and then wouldnt even talk about it,and still wont. I have trust issues,too...but I give people the doubt, and trust first...i know im opening myself up for more hurt, but I will trust or believe someone until they give me a reason not to
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| Aug 19, 2007 @ 6:02 PM |
How can I trust again
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marylou
Posts: 10,350
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slaprock.................I have been in the same boat as you (so to speak).....so I know the difficulty in finding it hard to trust again. I labourned over this for a long time.......then one day I decided I wasnt going to rush into anything with anyone......and just be happy to work on a friendship first. If females loose patience with this.....then its better they go......because they wont be caring about you. If someone likes you for who you are........they will hang around and get to know you and share times with you........if they go after a while.........all the better for you.....they were not the person for you. You dont have to rush into becoming involved........you can take your time.......and as much time as you like. If someone truly likes you and cares for you.......they will make all sorts of excuses to be around you.........this is the truth of it. If you havent met anyone like that as yet......dont fret........someone will come along.........but dont change who you are.........and stay strong and dont rush into anything with anyone.......until you feel totally comfortable to do so. When you meet someone they will feel like home to be with.........and trust will grow again.
There are no total guarantees.........that it wont happen again......none of us can say that........we can only guard against it happening as much as we possibly can.
None of us are immune from being conned or duped or lied to or cheated on etc.
I can only speak for myself........but I made up my mind to build on becoming stronger.........and taking a step at a time re relationships and taking as long as I liked. If someone cares enough they will understand and they will hang around if it takes you 10 yrs........LOL (jesting.....but tryng to make a point....LOL)...........All you have to do........is to work out the type of person you would like in your life.......and take the time to get to know them.........and stick by your guns in not rushing things and taking your time......and if the person truly cares for you............they will still be around......if they drift away then they arent meant to stay and you wouldnt want them to anyway would you?....LOL LOL LOL
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| Aug 19, 2007 @ 6:03 PM |
How can I trust again |
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marylou
Posts: 10,350
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woops......sowwy for repeating myself so much folks.....LOL
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| Aug 20, 2007 @ 12:35 PM |
How can I trust again
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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No one can promise that you or we will not suffer again in our life.
If you want to live you have to love.
Pay attention, be caruful, don't launch immediately, but don't give up to love
Good luck !
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| Aug 20, 2007 @ 12:41 PM |
How can I trust again |
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budo13
Posts: 2,952
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i feel for ya dude the only advice i can give you is get back on the horse you may get burned again but it is much better than to live in fear of trusting again
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| Aug 20, 2007 @ 1:27 PM |
How can I trust again
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peachylisa
Posts: 1,810
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TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE
when you fall in love with someone you are really falling in love with what you see of yourself thru that persons eyes, if you have no abilitly to trust then this will come thru and you will not find true love in that person, you have to love yourself
enough to love another and to love yourself you have to realize that you are worth the trust every person deserves, so you lose trust in one that had no true love for them selves, that is not you that is them, trust in yourself and learning that others are just as worthy will come back 
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| Aug 22, 2007 @ 3:13 PM |
How can I trust again |
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marylou
Posts: 10,350
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peachylisa.......yes.....I agree with you......you *hit the nail on he head* there......its all about their selfishness..........and not about you. We can meet 1001 people........and we can never say that they will never let us down and during time spent with them...........we cant say we can guarantee they will always be loyal and faithful and true. To love again........IS.....to risk being hurt again. But if you find someone truly wonderful .......its all worth the risk. Maybe finding that person may seem like a needle in a haystack.......but like another person said...you have to get back on the bike and try again. None of us like being hurt.....profoundly. IT DOES DARNWELL HURT LIKE HELL.....it can crush the hell out'v you......like an orange with not much juice left. But over time you have to build on yourself..........and get a little stronger.......so you can take the downfalls when they come. There are so many people who have 3 and 4 or more car accidents........some get badly injured.....but after a while.....they buy another car and get right back in it and start driving. That is what you need to do......when you feel strong enough.
I hope all these comments people have made have helped you in some way.......some drawn from their own experiences. :)
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 7:50 PM |
How can I trust again
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Angel178
Posts: 22,015
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I was really hurt 2 years ago...so it took a while for me to trust. I am finally at a point where I can trust again. If I get hurt in the process it is part of life, but at least I'm alive and not numb. Trust is a good feeling, helps you to relax and enjoy the ride
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 7:53 PM |
How can I trust again |
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 8,524
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 Hey hun! Missed you!
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 7:55 PM |
How can I trust again
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Angel178
Posts: 22,015
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I missed you and a couple of other too....part of the reason I came back. Wasn't totally ready, but I missed our convos and e-mails too much to stay away too long!!
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 7:57 PM |
How can I trust again |
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 8,524
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A day without Angel in the morning...makes for a very long day! 
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