| Sep 28, 2007 @ 8:01 PM |
How can I trust again
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Angel178
Posts: 22,964
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 Thank you
I missed you too this morning! 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 8:03 PM |
How can I trust again |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Even though the OP may be gone, the subject matter is good.
It is very sad that somebody that close to a person's heart would have a "hidden life", so to speak.
There is no alternative but to forgive and move forward for one's self. It is far harder to forget some things, but betrayal may be a good spark for just that.
Good luck to anyone that has been through that.
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 8:07 PM |
How can I trust again
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Angel178
Posts: 22,964
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Loreli, it is very sad. It has taken me almost three years to learn how to trust agian....after 18 years and a deep hurt...that takes a while. I hope that others are lucky enough to find their way 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 8:46 PM |
How can I trust again |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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Trust...is a very strange thing, indeed. Once someone betrays our trust, we will never trust that person again - not completely, not 100%. Regardless of how hard we work on restoring that trust, there will always be an element of lingering doubt with regard to everything they say and do.
Yet...we give our trust most freely to those that are the least deserving, namely, those we know the least about.
The OP was married for 14 years. I'm sure he trusted his wife. I'm also sure that after he found out that she had betrayed him, that he feels that he could never trust her again.
And the next relationship he becomes involved in, he will trust the new person implicitly - until and unless that person proves herself to be untrustworthy. But barring such an unfortunate incident, the level of trust originally given that person will grow over time. But that trust still must be given, albeit blindly, at the beginning of a relationship, in order for the relationship to have any chance of blossoming into something truly long-term and rewarding.
Now as far as the ability to trust again is concerned, I believe that when people say they are afraid to trust again, if they're honest with themselves, the fear is not in being able to trust another --- but in being able to trust yourself again. Think about it. We've all been burned at some point in our lives. We all had to take time to heal. We all had to regroup before stepping out into that big, cold, scary world again.
But when we were ready to do so, had we really gotten to a point where we could trust others?
Or...had we gotten to the point where we felt we could trust OURSELVES enough to make the right decision when considering who to give our heart to, who to make ourselves vulnerable to --- who to place our trust in?
It's kind of like the old adage about love: You can't love someone else until you love yourself first. I feel that you can't really trust someone else...until you trust yourself first and foremost.
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 8:54 PM |
How can I trust again
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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I agree wholeheartedly, Jester. You know they're capable of doing it, because it's been done, so you can never, ever 100% trust them again.
But you can realize that what they did was more about them, than about you.
And go forward and be the best you can be, in spite of their behaviors.
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 8:58 PM |
How can I trust again |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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But you can realize that what they did was more about them, than about you.
And go forward and be the best you can be, in spite of their behaviors. 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 8:58 PM |
How can I trust again
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 8:58 PM |
How can I trust again |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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Wow- I'm so kissy tonight.... 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:02 PM |
How can I trust again
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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Shall we get a room????? 
It'll be okay.....really.......
Trust me.......................... 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:07 PM |
How can I trust again |
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Angel178
Posts: 22,964
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Him I don't trust 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:11 PM |
How can I trust again
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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Yes... I'm feeling bold. What time will your plane be in?
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:13 PM |
How can I trust again |
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katydid438
Posts: 6,787
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I always had trust in the relationships I have had over the years. Trust just went without saying. Having said that, the end of a realtionship due to trust issues really floored me mentally and physically. What an eye opener!!! I know I will trust again...that is just my nature 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:16 PM |
How can I trust again
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Angel178
Posts: 22,964
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I completely trust.....
Just not Jester
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:21 PM |
How can I trust again |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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Yes... I'm feeling bold. What time will your plane be in? Let me drive out to my hangar and see which one is ready to go, okay? (I'm hoping it's the Gulfstream, but I haven't talked to my mechanic today..... )
I completely trust..... Just not Jester
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:22 PM |
How can I trust again
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Angel178
Posts: 22,964
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You know I luvs you!!!!!!
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:27 PM |
How can I trust again |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Hmmm... I made a lot more sense two years ago than I do now... 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:30 PM |
How can I trust again
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Angel178
Posts: 22,964
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Baby, trust me, you are awsome
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:31 PM |
How can I trust again |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Thanks Baby...
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:32 PM |
How can I trust again
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Angel178
Posts: 22,964
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Welcome.....
Psst...comeer....I gotta tell you something 
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| Sep 28, 2007 @ 9:33 PM |
How can I trust again |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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can I trust you?
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