| Apr 21, 2006 @ 5:23 PM |
What should I do?
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Karma79
Posts: 3
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Ok. There's someone I've been talking to... (who shall remain nameless)... he keeps saying he wants to talk and meet, but I feel as though he's giving me the run-a-round. We've spoken on the phone and via yahoo IM, but... well, he's definitely caught my interest, and I supposedly caught his, but his actions are proving otherwise. I don't know what to do or how to approach him.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 5:26 PM |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Just be honest with him..just come right out and ask him what his intentions are..
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 5:45 PM |
What should I do?
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!! Ok, if you see a red flag before you even meet for the first time, I would advise simply walking away before you become more involved with him and risk getting hurt. Of course, I know nothing at all about your situation, but I've learnt the hard way never to ignore any red flags.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 5:57 PM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,625
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What China said! 
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 6:05 PM |
What should I do?
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nightrider3281
Posts: 752
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run forest run!!!!!
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 6:17 PM |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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Been there, done that. This can easily drag on for months so it is best to give up any ideas about anything more than - maybe - being friends and continue your search.
Remember, actions and words should match.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 6:23 PM |
What should I do?
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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Do what I did. Uninstall your IM! Men who will not communicate with you by phone and/or email, let alone in person, just want to play and they want instant IM gratification. They are not worth it.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 6:41 PM |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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His actions speak for himself. Actions speak louder than words. Cliche but true!
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 6:48 PM |
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tahoma
Posts: 10,576
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I agree with Di... if a man is truly interested he should make an effort to be with you. If he is just hemming and hawing... move on. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman and you deserve to be happy.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 6:51 PM |
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jim9562
Posts: 620
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it means he has lots on the table and he's saving you for dessert
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:08 PM |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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You've spoken on the phone, via i.m.. You are interested, believe he is-but what actions conflict with feeling like there could be a hookup? Since you don't say, it's kind of hard to make a judgement call of advice. If this just started, maybe he is taking it slow....If it's been awhile, then I agree with Tink-come right out and ask!
If he's being rude or nasty or promising to contact you and doesn't-that's another issue.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:10 PM |
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jim9562
Posts: 620
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no actually it means he's banging lots of chicks and he's saving you later
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:15 PM |
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bevrice
Posts: 11,141
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And for once, lol, I think Jim is probably right. Just tell him that you are not going to keep iming with him, that you think it is importatnt that you meet, so you don't waste anymore time. That if you don't click, then you can both get on with your lives and put your interest elsewhere.
Or it sure can drag on for months and months.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:25 PM |
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jim9562
Posts: 620
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:34 PM |
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Jessa
Posts: 117
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He's just getting his rocks off. What do you mostly talk about? Let me guess the conversation started off great, but slowly geared to sex. He seems sexually interested, I'm sure, you're attractive... but you can never be too sure. If he isn't trying to put his 2 feet in the direction closer to meeting you know he's just too good to be true. Some guys will lead women on online, just because they can, and because they enjoy it. Sometimes the chase is better than finally catching.. some people want don't want to stop running because finally getting the prey doesn't really satisfy them the way they thought it would.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:35 PM |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Ditch the dude. His intentions seem pretty clear. I would listen to China and the others who have "been there, done that."
Actions most definitely speak louder than words!
I would not waste another thought on what to do....there are lots of great men out there who are more than clear about their intentions.....
So I'd say what you've already experienced with this person is a RED FLAG ALERT
Your decision, one way or another, will indeed speak directly to you about your own personal karma.
Listen well.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:41 PM |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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I feel the need to defend something here...
I've noticed a trend on the forums that if someone sends you emails, and you chat online but never meet, it makes them a player. I totally disagree. If this person is telling you that they love you, you are the ONE, or any other manipulative tactics, then they ARE playing you, but I think too many people see chats and emails as some kind of committment. This is the internet...people chat...people email..people move on and chat and email with other people...its not a game it just is how it is. You just need to stop thinking that emails and IM's mean you are in a relationship.
[Edited on 4/21/2006 7:42 PM]
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:42 PM |
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HarleysB_WV
Posts: 860
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You didn't mention how long you had been talking. Some people prefer to give it a little time before meeting in person, other's don't. I agree with Tink and Loreli on this one. You really should just come right out and ask him. And keep in mind that if you met him on a dating site then the chances are pretty good that you are NOT the only woman he is talking to. After all, how can you read a profile and KNOW instantly that this is the one for you?? Simple. You can't. Only through communicating can you better know if there is a relationship in the making. Perhaps he needs more communication but is extremely busy at the moment. I know in my business I have periods of time where getting back to someone is a little more difficult than at other times. Perhaps he has something going on that doesn't have anything to do with another woman at all. Simple matter of the fact is, you don't know and you want to know and the only way you are going to know for sure 100% is to just come right out and ask him.
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:48 PM |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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I've noticed a trend on the forums that if someone sends you emails, and you chat online but never meet, it makes them a player.
I`ve noticed that too...and its not at all true..their not players.. 
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| Apr 21, 2006 @ 7:53 PM |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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After a few IM sessions and a few phone calls, it should be obvious whether or not you really want to meet someone in person.
If they continue to drag their feet about getting together for something simple like a cup of coffee and they are not so far it will take a major effort to see them or they have not told you outright they want to "go slowly", then 99% of the time something isn't right and you shouldn't ever get your hopes up for more than, again, - maybe - a friend. No matter what they say.
Just tell him how you feel, that enough is enough, and if he won't commit to meeting in person then you simply need to spend your time elsewhere. And do it.
In the immortal words of someone (probably good old "anonymous"), he'll either sh*t or get off the proverbial pot.
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