| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:09 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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HarleysB_WV
Posts: 860
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I see and hear a lot of people talk about how their ex's "screwed them over". How the ex messed everything up etc etc. And I'm sure that the ex's say the same about us. Here's the question. Would anyone actually admit they were wrong?? Is there anyone who knows that it was something they did that caused the relationship to turn sour?? In all honesty, if we are all someone's ex, then there is someone out there saying it was our fault. How many can admit that it really was??
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:11 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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richmondcowgirl83
Posts: 1,062
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I'm usually the first to admit it was my fault.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:12 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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I don`t blame my ex entirely...after all it takes two to make a relationship to work...putting all the blame on one person isn`t owning up to your responsibility in the relationship...in my case..I shouldn`t have married him so I take some of the blame... 
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:13 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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academicgirl
Posts: 161
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Since he couldn't give me a reason why he did what he did, I wouldn't know what to accept responsibility for.... 
As no one is perfect and it takes two to tango, I'm sure there is something, he just wouldn't say what it was 
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:15 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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girlseekingboy83
Posts: 49
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I admit for about a year after this one break up I felt that the guy was responsible for how things had turned out. But after looking back on the few months that I spent with him I noticed that a lot of it was my fault also. I was a changed girl for those few months, and as much as it taught me many lesson about myself it wasn't the women that I am today. We never loved each other, or even really cared about each other. He used me, and I used him. So if anyone is resonsible I guess we both play a part, but I'm stepping up and saying it was my fault. I could have walked away before it even started.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:20 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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I definitely share the blame with my ex.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:29 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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luvshorses644
Posts: 1,571
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What is funny is that I just had this talk with my niece and my brother.. listen, both my sisters blame their exes for everything that is wrong with their lives today.. they didn't support their dreams, didn't share their hopes, etc., etc., etc. When they ask why I don't dis my ex, it is because I so know it takes two to either make the relationship work, or see there is something wrong and work at fixing it, but it also takes two to end a relationship. There is a mutual sharing of things done wrong in a relationship, unless you are in an abusive (i.e., physically, or emotionally or in a relationship where there is an addition or psychosis) relationship and you just decide to end it.. but see, it does take two to end.. both play a role. I take my own responsibility in the end of my marriage and I am working at being a better person. Bitterness about the demise of a relationship keeps you angry and builds walls. I do not want that!
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:32 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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RAKS37
Posts: 617
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I did say that I was sorry for everything I did wrong
oops
I also said I was sorry for everything I did right as well 
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:34 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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There are always faults in a relationship where we have to accept our fair share of the blame for not making things better, and I know that there were many areas of my marriage that I didn't care enough about to try and put right. For that I accept responsibility.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:43 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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I can only control myself, which I have even a hard time with this at times . So I'd say I can't, nor would I want to, answer for anyone but me. 
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 2:44 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,951
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According to him, I did nothing wrong, and he gets angry when I blame myself. So I've stopped blaming myself cos I can't think of anything I did wrong.
I do blame him for throwing my life off track but it's my fault I haven't gotten it back on track yet.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 3:57 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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I think the dissolution of relationship occurs as a result of dynamics and choices that happen within the relationship, dynamics and choices made by both parties.
And often, I don't think the ending of a relationship has anything to do with who is responsible for "screwing up", but rather that the relationship has simply come full circle with respect to what was meant to be experienced by and between two people.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 5:01 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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stormyweather844
Posts: 109
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Lots of times we have just made bad choices in the beginning....don't want to admit it, can't or won't just end it..........but it always takes two....to screw up.....a man/woman relationship.......we have all been there at some point in our lives...if we are old enough to have dated, in a serious relationship.... We have to accept accountability....it was our choice to be there in the first place.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 8:50 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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I take ALL the blame ....I shoulda NEVER said YES when he asked me to marry him the 3rd time after I turned him down the 1st and 2nd. But then I wouln't have had the beautiful children I was blessed with.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 9:00 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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DrewinJersey
Posts: 36
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Oh, I can freely admit that I screw up in my relationships. I'm hyper. I have a pretty screwed up template for interpersonal relationships thanks to my parents. I have intimacy issues from being molested when I was younger. I have a job that people scoff at, a big mouth, and I probably get up and sing way more than I should, considering how bad I am at it. I tend to screw up, and when I screw up, it's a slippery slope, as I fall further and further down while trying to correct it.
Still doesn't change the fact that I've dated other screwed up people, and even people that aren't close friends of mine go "...dude, Drew, that was pretty messed up what she did."
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 9:07 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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BulldogMedic
Posts: 154
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I blame Drew for most of my relationship problems too.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 9:17 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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Marwizzle87
Posts: 44
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In all honesty, I've been searching for a way in which I did something wrong... But no, absolutly nothing. I'm sure it doesn't sound very convincing, but if it helps, she admits it was all her fault too.
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 10:55 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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Jessa
Posts: 117
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The only thing my ex ever did wrong was keep us going longer than we should have. When we ended up breaking up he said he did "everything to protect me".. basically he wanted me to have this great life, college bound, and he was just in my way. At the time I was consumed with him and just wanted HIM. I realize now that he was completely right and just in everything he said. I suppose that's what you get when you date someone 10 yrs your senior. Needless to say my life is right where it should be, and he's still a bachelor, no longer with that great apartment, but living at his moms. I like to think he went downhill after me, that I was the best thing that happened to him. LOL
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| Apr 22, 2006 @ 11:14 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible??
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the_real_me_ok
Posts: 293
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I had a hard time in the beginning but I realize I am to blame for just as much if not more than my ex.....most of the time it takes awhile to get to that place emotionally. Maybe out of protective your own heart. I dunno. But everyone has regrets at some point. Nobody should beat themselves up over them, ever. Take responsibility, but don't beat on yourself.
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| Apr 23, 2006 @ 11:11 PM |
Is anyone BUT the ex responsible?? |
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ButterflyRei
Posts: 17
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I have to say my ex takes most of the blame. He was an abusive, selfish, criminal sociopath. I do take the blame for marrying him, for enabling his behavior, and for putting my kids in a horrible situtaion.
I can not totally regret my marriage because I got my boys from it. I just wish I would have gotten out before my kids got hurt. I think I will carry guilt about that for the rest of my life.
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