| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:01 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
paperchase417
Posts: 101
|
Has anyone else ever experienced the negative effects of honesty in a romantic endevour?
I pride myself in being an honest man, but it seems that it does little if any good. Once in a blue moon I will meet some one who can look past the initial shock of honesty and grow to respect it, but most people just detest it and insist that I'm just being mean.
|
|
  |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:03 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
|
Are you being honest, yet still loving and tactful? Or are you ONLY being honest?
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:06 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
|
Say what you mean. mean what you say and don't be mean when you say it (or something like that) Honesty is "almost" always the best policy when discussing ourselves. Some folks use "honesty" as an excuse to batter and feel superior. Gentleness is always nice.
Yeah  and what Jester said!
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:15 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
whataswimmer
Posts: 2
|
Unforunately honesty is not something you can choose long term...either you ARE or you AREN'T!!!! And as an honest person, honestly is always appreciated...yes couched tactfully.
Horrible thing is when someone says they want honesty in a relationship, but really mean only with certain things...then they never tell you the 'grey' (ie dishonest) areas!!!! ::sigh:: 
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:23 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
DestinyAngel49
Posts: 516
|
I'm a true believer that "Honesty Is the Best Policy."
I can't say that I have had any 'negative experiences'... that I can remember.
People always seems to respect me for being an 'Honest' person.
Honesty is very important in any type of relationship.
paperchase... Don't let the 'negative experiences' change your 'Honesty' 
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:25 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
paperchase417
Posts: 101
|
I try to be tactful, but its a social skill I lack. I just feel like "tact" is a form of mild dishonesty and that you should just be frank.
Think about it. Often times, being tactful means leaving a portion of your statement open to interpretation. Which means that the other person, unless they are cynical, or just know me well, would accept the least confrontational of the possible meanings, rather than accepting the truth, which is the entire point of being honest.
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:36 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
|
IMHO, tact simply means telling your truth in as polite and nonconfrontational manner as possible. It doesn't mean that you're leaving out anything material. It also means that your chances of being heard by the other party go up dramatically. Honesty that comes off too brutal will cause the other person to turn a deaf ear to what you are saying. And if that person refuses to listen, what's the purpose in saying anything - whether it's honest or not?
To use your own argument, which is more honest - explaining how to be tactful, as above, or merely uttering a brutal, "You have no idea what you're talking about!!!!"
One is tactful, and heard - the other comes off more like an attack, and is not heard. Do you see my point?
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:39 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
richmondcowgirl83
Posts: 1,062
|
Say what you mean. mean what you say and don't be mean when you say it
That is the best way to put it.... mind if I put that in my qoute book?
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:46 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
paperchase417
Posts: 101
|
"You have no idea what you're talking about!!!!"
I see your point, but at the same time, that statement isn't really honest, but it is poorly thought out, and undeveloped.
Something more accurate would be "I don't think you see the whole picture."
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:52 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
|
No problem cowgirl... don't know where it came from to tell the truth, heard it many moons ago... works for me, hope you too!
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:57 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
|
Something more accurate would be "I don't think you see the whole picture."
I started to write something almost exactly like this, but quite honestly, was afraid that you'd think it TOO tactful, which is why I chose the more brash approach to illustrate.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:59 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
grumblebear
Posts: 10,470
|
the only time I see honesty causing me problems is when my own behavior is messed up
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 1:00 AM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
paperchase417
Posts: 101
|
LoL
Thats pretty funny
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:20 PM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
beachnutRU
Posts: 3,228
|
exactly g bear when we use honesty to beat the hell out of somone it turns into a bully pulpit.......the purveyors of truth.
That is something to write about!!! Honesty then turns from a character asset to a character defect......of course the shortcoming is acting out on it, wouldn't you say? 
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:31 PM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
silknpearls
Posts: 1,820
|
I used to be honest to a fault - thought that was the right way to be. Then I realized that all that "honesty" could be seen as cruel. I learned to be more tactful and tell "white lies" to keep from hurting people unnecessarily.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 12:43 PM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,790
|
We are awakened by practicing living in Love.
We are encouraged by speaking words of Kindness.
We are inspired by sharing dreams of healing and wholeness.
We are healed by forgiving all mis-takes, yours, mine and ours.
We learn to accept Honesty no matter how much it hurts.We learn it is forgiveness and love that heals.
We learn that when we are aware of loving without judgment, we heal ourselves as well as the other.
Theres only Negative Effects if one chooses to let there be..
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 1:02 PM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
paperchase417
Posts: 101
|
We learn to accept Honesty no matter how much it hurts.
Thats always been my position. I would never turn my back on some one for giving their honest opinion even if it tore through to the bone. I think it takes balls to be honest despite social pressure to sugar coat every nasty lil pill. Thats an admirable characteristic to me, even if it does sting for a moment. Some one who is willing to be totally honest with me, is some one I view as a friend.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 1:47 PM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
mangolover60
Posts: 635
|
Something more accurate would be "I don't think you see the whole picture."
Well, I don't think that this is quite tactful either. Try something more like "I don't seem to be presenting my view of the whole picture well, let's try this again."
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 2:09 PM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love
|
|
mailorderannie
Posts: 5,923
|
I'm going to disagree with some of the posters here...I think it IS our responsibility of how we treat other people. If we know the truth will hurt them, then it is our responsibility to tell them that truth in a compassionate manner. To say they have a choice as to how they accept what we say seems to be a rationalization of bad behaviour.
If people tell you that you are just being mean, you probably are.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 26, 2006 @ 2:59 PM |
The Negative Effects of Honesty In Love |
|
silknpearls
Posts: 1,820
|
If people tell you that you are just being mean, you probably are.
Well said Annie 
|
| |
|
|