| Apr 26, 2006 @ 5:46 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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I would like women to explain to me what kind of relationship they are expecting to have if they are either a student tied up in their school work, a single mom that also has to watch her children at home, or women that have a career which requires greater than 40 hours per week of time.
Please explain if you are either looking for:
Booty call (An on the spot free time sexual relationship).
A fantasy relationship where you were wish you had more free time but you actually never get enough free time to date.
Attention from guys.
You just want a guy to pay attention to you so that you can be reassured that "You still have what it takes" but you don't want to actually date because of your school or your child obligation and your ability to trade-off time spent with your dating partner would be too time consuming for you to actually juggle both.
You want a one nighter or day time date every few weeks or months because that would best fit into your career schedual.
You can't date regularly because you have children and are bound to the fact that you need to find a sitter or you don't have money for a sitter that day or night?
Is there something else?
Obviously what women are asking for, and actually have time for, really aren't the same thing but seems more like a fantasy date or relationship when it comes to having time to actually do it. Is this the reason you women are actually on the internet looking?
Is anyone doing this online thing because they are in a remote location like the South Pole and just want the attention from a man?
opps...... I edited for typos.
[Edited on 4/26/2006 6:45 AM]
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 6:11 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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well I have a career and have kids....and since im self employed my schedule can be switched around and my sons are still a big part of my life ....but I am keeping myself open to finding a lasting sweetie. I guess I just dont need someone around all the time....There is breathing room. Its really like anything else in life..If you want something bad enough you find time.
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 6:32 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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a single mom that also has to watch children
 I had a very simple solution..I didn`t date..work,kids.work,kids..my schedule didn`t allow it..no time for men...of course there were other things to take into consideration, but I won`t go into those..
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 7:17 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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minky
Posts: 261
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When my son was young I daded a few single fathers who also spent most of their
free time with kids. We all went out together. it worked well.
Busy women want the same thing busy men want, companionship, affection,
maybe love  .
If someone likes you enough than what you have to offer is good enough IMO.
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 8:14 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Well, back in my child-rearing days, it was mostly that I didn't date. There was a long-lived (15 years) friends-with-benefits relationship, and the friendship still survives. I also managed to squeeze in taking care of my father during his last days with cancer, and my mother during her last ten years with the foul disease. I was not only not looking back in those days, I worked pretty hard at avoiding the addition of that last straw (I'm tough, but not unbreakable!).
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 9:26 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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silknpearls
Posts: 1,820
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When my kids were young, I worked and dated. I married (for second time) but found he was not the right person. I divorced him after only 4 years. So, I found time for everything that was important to me. Kids, work and dating. It is a matter of balance. I guess it also depends on the woman. I personally am looking for my "soul mate" (overused term) that I can spend the rest of my life with.
However, I found that some men who have profiles on here do not have time to date. They barely have time to answer your emails. I dismiss those. If you do not have time to email me, when would you have time to date me? If you do not have time to date me, what kind of marriage would we have? Anyway, why contact me if you do not have time to date?
I want someone who has time to be with me and have shared experiences. That is one reason why I do not date long distance. You cannot really have shared experiences. I have several friends that I email back and forth with, but they are not considered potential mates. Just friends to communicate with.
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 9:34 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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Loreli
Posts: 25,413
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I have one child still at home, my oldest two are around often, are a big part of my life. I guess what I am looking for is love, the whole package. With a man that either can accept me AND my children, or has some of his own and we both do the acceptance and the love!
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 10:51 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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horselady9
Posts: 144
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Ok, please explain to me how a person with a full life/obligations/responsibilities/etc is viewed differently if they're male vs female? It's ok for a guy to be short on time/long on other responsibilities, but not for a gal?
Yes, I've had men ask where there was room for them in my life - but they'd already demonstrated that there was equally little room for me in theirs. So what's the big deal? The only people I know (male OR female) with an abundance of free time on their hands have no life and are just twiddling their thumbs. Sorry, that kind of person puts me to 
A relationship worth the time and effort DOES take time and effort - on the part of both partners. And much of that involves working with the recognition that both partners have their own rich lives, which is what brought texture and flavor and character to the relationship in the first place.
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 11:12 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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WickedWench
Posts: 1,613
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I am a single Mom with a professional career. I can't afford to stay at home and give my child a decent life with opportunities and frankly, nor would I want to. I love my career very much.
I have time but like others I do have a life and so should he. I don't want someone around 24/7. That would mean he has no life and no other interests and that would bore me quickly. It also wouldn't allow me to persue my interests.
Both parties involved have to make an effort to make time for each other. And my time is no less valuable than his.
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 11:55 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Dating is HELL, but it's the only way to get from here to there, "there" being cohabitation with the right partner.
In a good partnership, chores and responsibilities are divided, each doing what he/she does best, compensating for and complementing each other, reducing each other's burdens, relieving each other's stress, each ending up with more time, not less. And then there is the icing on the cake: SEX.
The hard part is getting from here to there. I have never understood why some people want to spend their lives in dating hell.
I HATE dating. Are we there yet?
[Edited on 4/26/2006 1:00 PM]
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 3:14 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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Life is busy....
I used to work 100+ hours a week when I was at the Railroad...  it was mandatory... but you find ways around it, people either try to be flexible, or you don't....
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 3:30 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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When my children were younger, I was working full time and also going to school to earn my master's degree. Any spare time I had then was spent with the children, and being at their activities (soccer, softball, baseball, school activities, birthday parties, etc., etc., etc.). Consequently, I didn't even try to start a relationship during those years. The kids needed me, and I was there. To me, that's what being a mom was.
Now that they are mostly grown and don't require as much of my attention, as they have their friends to hang out with, I am looking around for my own friends to hang out with. I still spend time with my kids, but I have time for myself now.
I do already have activities I pursue now. If an opportunity to date or go somewhere with a friend comes up, then, as with any other activity, I will check my schedule and see when I am free (but not cheap or easy ). Some people act like that is an inconvenience, seeming to think that I should be doing nothing but sitting around waiting patiently for someone to ask me out. However, I do have a life, I do not sit around waiting for someone to "rescue me" from boredom...that in itself would be boring.
The bottom line is: if a person wants to do something, he or she will make time to fit it into their schedule. If they say they are too busy, and can never set a time for a date or whatever, then they usually just don't want to do it.
(Don't jump on me--I know there are people who are too busy .... sometimes.... but I don't think there is anyone in the world who is too busy all the time....if they were, they would not have time to be here on MD.....)
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 8:14 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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greenizenora
Posts: 629
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Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
Wow. . .this is certainly me. After reading Always Strivings post, I felt duly chastised and a little guilty.
Then I read SylvanDreams post. Did she ever hit it on the head. 
I will admit that at the moment, my time is very tight. When I signed up for classes, I didn't realize the homework was going to be so overwhelming.
Having said that, is it unreasonable for someone in my position to try to develop a friendship that may turn into something more once the semester is over?
I don't know. . .maybe I'm being selfish, although that would be a first for me.
But hell. . .I'm not getting any younger!
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| Apr 26, 2006 @ 8:24 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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torees121
Posts: 739
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I work full time as a social worker for the state of Indiana. I also am in graduate school working towards my MSW. I am also a parent to my daughter who is 14 (my 19 yr old son has his own place). I still feel like I have time to date. I am more picky about whom I do date, because I don't have alot of time to "waste". My daughter is at her dads every other weekend and weeks at a time in the summer. Once I am in a relationship time isn't such an issue. My last real boyfriend would even help me study. If two people want to be together it doesn't really matter what you do.
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| Apr 27, 2006 @ 12:31 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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Sylvan is right on...one makes time for what they really want to do, no matter what their schedules are.
I work full time and am a part time student. I don't have kids, so I do have a fair amount of free time. As it is the end of semester, I've had 2 very hectic weeks. It's give and take...and if a man can't give me the extra time I need to study, then I couldn't possibly give him any extra time when things are hectic for him! 
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| Apr 27, 2006 @ 12:38 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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Ok, please explain to me how a person with a full life/obligations/responsibilities/etc is viewed differently if they're male vs female? It's ok for a guy to be short on time/long on other responsibilities, but not for a gal?
I was thinking the same thing. Single dads have the same problem, and it does make dating difficult. or at least being able to spend enough time together to develope a really good relationship.
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| Apr 27, 2006 @ 12:39 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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Jessa
Posts: 117
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So, you basically want to know why women think they can do the same things that men can?
Now, I'm no feminist, but there is a possibility women can multitask. In fact, I have a career, I'm going for my masters, and I have a toddler. I'm married and whatever moment I have I try to give it to my husband. I offer him everything he offers me. He's going for his degree, has a career that requires 12 hr days, and our son. He treats me like I mean the world to him. We aren't all about sex, fantasies, or attention.
Just because a girl can't give you her undivided attention doesn't mean she isn't serious about being with you, or she's using you to fill her "down times". I'm not about to drop everything to make sure I'm there 24/7 for my husband. We have our lives and then "our life". Just because he doesn't live in the realms of my work or school, when we're home we're all about each other.
What do you want, someone uneducated, unemployed, and barren?
Everyone can balance anything, it's whether or not the guys are worth it. Young women are looking for people to fill the void of college or high school loneliness. They're filled with that empty feeling that they'll forever be old maids and the only girls without boyfriends. So they get themselves wrapped up in relationships, mostly, based around drinking and sex. There are very few SMART young women that want a full on commitment, equal to marriage. I am not going to get on my knees and please my "master" ... hubby comes first, and by being first he understands that school and work are important and fill the void outside of the home that he cannot. I put myself into everything I do, I'm not the only woman like this out there. I'm secure inside and outside of the home. If a woman is responsible enough to be a mother, a scholar, or an employee she's responsible enough to love someone and have a thriving relationship.
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| Apr 28, 2006 @ 10:56 AM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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Jesus Christ man give us women a break!
We are still alive and have feelings.
Just because we have kids and work does not
mean we have to stay at home ALL the time.
Mine is grown now and moved out, but I dated and
worked when he was younger.
Who says you can't have it all? LOL
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| Apr 28, 2006 @ 12:16 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date.
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silknpearls
Posts: 1,820
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Who says you can't have it all? LOL
Exactly!
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| Apr 28, 2006 @ 1:23 PM |
Womens who have careers, children or school that also want to try to date. |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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Life says we can't have it all... there are trade offs... we only have an alloted span on this plane of existance..... when we are at the end... no one wishes they had spent more time at work, or been tied up in traffic more.... Its family and friends that matter...
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