| Apr 30, 2006 @ 12:50 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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sjpinatl
Posts: 671
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I see time after time where people post about the disappointment of internet dating. The perils, the dishonesty, the annoyance...
Am I the only one who takes it with a grain of salt? I don't get in a wad if someone from Africa writes who wants a green card. If I lived somewhere that I had to stand in line for three hours for a loaf of bread, no healthcare, and had no chance of an education and half the population had AIDS, I might play the long distance dating lottery from my computer as well. I just delete the message and move on. I don't get upset if an obvious player writes me. I just go, "next." I don't get upset if I get a wink, or someone writes me who does not fit every single criteria on my checklist. It is a free DATING SITE. People can do what they want.
Sometimes there is the occasional wacko situation that can't be forseen, but on the most part, people who end up with liars and cheaters online are people who attract liars and cheaters in real life.
I met my last two loves online. One moved and the other relationship fizzled out. Both things can easily happen from meeting "in real life" initially. I have met friends online. I have gained insight to the opposite sex online. I have a hard time flirting in real life becasue there is often no tell-tale ring on men these days. Hard to know who to flirt with. The internet makes that safer because you know the guys are single and looking(if honest). I've talked to over fifty men at least on the phone, and I do not think any of them were married. I do not go to bars or date men in my field, so it is meeting online or pretty much nothing for me.
No, haven't found my true love, but I could date more if I were not so dang picky. I met two nice men in the last couple of weeks who were nice, interesting, cute, and almost matches but not quite. I broke it off with one, and the other broke it off with me, those are the breaks in love and war. And I'm talking to a guy right now that I think could be a possible match. If not, there will be others.
So am I the only one who thinks the online thing is not so bad? Not that I've ever met anyone from this particular site...I wonder if the people who do all the bitchin' about it are not just people who just like to bitch a lot.
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 12:53 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,792
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So am I the only one who thinks the online thing is not so bad?
 I don`t think its so bad either...
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 1:03 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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holding4u
Posts: 1,096
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Dating sites are not bad and you do learn to take them with a grain of salt. BUT - some people are on here (lots of them) not to chat, not post in the forums, not to meet friends or form relationships - they are into their own personal games and only they know the rules. And they hurt people who are looking for something totally different.
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 1:05 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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paperchase417
Posts: 101
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if I thought it was so terrible i wouldn't be here.
I dont take too much of this seriously until a relationship reaches a certain point. For me that point is when i shell out $500 to fly cross country to spend a week with some one.
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 1:05 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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Cupcake43130
Posts: 1,747
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I have no expectations on dating sites....therefore there will be no disappointments. If something happens...great. If not....next please!!!! 
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 4:23 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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the_real_me_ok
Posts: 293
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What annoys me is the people online who blog and say...."I am so tired of being lied to, I am so tired of being played, I don't want to talk to anyone anymore. I give up." Then you see those same people online all the time lol. It's pretty funny.
I think some people join dating sites expecting that the internet is going to solve their social and dating problems that they have in the real world. If anything, it's even more risky meeting people this way. I disagree with the thought that paying sites are better than non-paying ones, because I have seen quite a few fakes with Gold Memberships. Bottom line with that is, if someone really wants to play games online, do they really care if they have to pay to do it?
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 4:29 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I'm happy here. I've made lots of friends. 
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 4:39 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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HarleysB_WV
Posts: 860
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My expectations of online dating sites is pretty simple. I expect to meet new people and explore new possibilities. If I happen to make friends or find Mr. Right, or even Mr. Right Now, that's a bonus, certainly not an expectation.
Thus far my expectations are being met. I've met some wonderful people both on and offline.
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 4:45 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,145
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I'm happy here. I've made lots of friends.
so have i sponge.. so have I..   sweet N Louisiana
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 5:12 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,495
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we all have different desires, and we all fill them differently...
I play the Grumbly old S.O.B., I have no illusions about love or romance... I don't believe I am "wired" for it.
but I meet my needs by laughing and chatting with folks... My life, my choices,
we all live that way...
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| Apr 30, 2006 @ 5:16 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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NatureGal745
Posts: 708
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I have no real expectations....I learned a while ago if you have too many then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. I'm having a great time making friends and meeting new people. If something develops I'm open to the possibility. 
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| May 6, 2006 @ 12:01 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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manchild17
Posts: 29
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actually, I just realize something about myself and online dating sites. It is a tool for shy people to meet. Plain and simple. I would send out 10 emails and get 3 bites. And finally meet maybe one or two. However, it still doesn't help if you are still shy. If you meet that one person, you don't know how to act and you live your life trying applease that one person. Instead of just living in the real world where you can talk to 10 girls, get 3 numbers and go out with one girl. Believe me, I will be working towards that.
Onlines sites are great for people who are not shy. It just another tool to meet people but if you can't talk to a stranger in real life you might have problems when you finally meet someone. Hell, they are going to be shy which I found out a lot.
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| May 6, 2006 @ 12:15 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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I think some people join dating sites expecting that the internet is going to solve their social and dating problems that they have in the real world.
Oh no!!! Guess I'll have to try getting out then?  Big scary world out there!
I started here with no expectations, was introduced by a friend, curiousity opened the door, but since then I've gained alot of insight into peoples (including my own) behaivours and thinking patterns. I've found that people tend to open up quicker through the written word and it also allows us the opportunity of approaching people in a much more direct way. Lets face it in the real world we don't just approach strangers and begin speaking to them.
So my expectation is I will continue to gain learning experience in how I react to those I am interacting with. Perhaps through this I will meet a partner whether through here or out there....
[Edited on 5/6/2006 12:19 PM]
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| May 6, 2006 @ 12:18 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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I'm happy here. I've made lots of friends.
I'm with Spongy. If nothing else I've gained a lot of friends (some enemies?  ...lol).
Hey, I met the Sponge-meister, right? My life is complete.
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| May 6, 2006 @ 12:24 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,360
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I think I pretty much echo what everyone's said above. It's cheaper than therapy too. I'm pretty open IRL too, but I don't usually open up quite THIS freely to people I've never even met (bearing in mind that it's not only the people we 'know', i.e. the other 'frequent posters', but those who are reading these posts who are totally unknown to us).
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| May 6, 2006 @ 12:25 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,792
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I think some people join dating sites expecting that the internet is going to solve their social and dating problems that they have in the real world.
 Really?..Glad I`m a recluse in the real world...just can`t get away from the convent...ahhhh the life of a Nun.. 
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| May 6, 2006 @ 1:15 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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nah12
Posts: 3,973
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look at me, do i look like i have expectations......well maybe an incantation......  
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| May 6, 2006 @ 1:58 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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lacyvsq
Posts: 4,306
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One of the most wonderful things about online is that no one has to be all things -- I can get humor from some, insights from others, flirtation with yet others...and on and on. And some people will find me funny, and some will find me wise, and some will find me foolish -- and I can get many facets of myself polished and polish a few facets here and there myself.
I dont take too much of this seriously until a relationship reaches a certain point. For me that point is when i shell out $500 to fly cross country to spend a week with some one
At that point, I still am going to be resolved to "not take it too seriously". If $500 is a sacrifice, then I am going to make options to ensure that I will have a good time even if the person I am meeting is not all that I had hoped.
I think realistic expectations manifest when you are taking responsibility to make sure that your experience is more pleasurable than painful -- that the benefits are worth the cost invested.
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| May 6, 2006 @ 3:58 PM |
Expectations of dating sites
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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I used to get myself with women halfway across the world from me on dating sites. That was always doomed to failure! Saying that, I have made some good friends across the world, most of whom I will never meet, but some that I have already met, and others that I may well meet in the future. That has to be a good thing! Nowadays I am different though, I don't get "close" to someone unless they are local, although of course I still build up friendships through natural progression on sites such as MD, and I do not expect the world from it, just a little bit of happiness, fun, or at the very least, a harmless and interesting way to fill my time whilst my daughter is asleep..
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| May 6, 2006 @ 5:09 PM |
Expectations of dating sites |
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walkingman
Posts: 639
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I really don't have any expectation's on a dating site's. I think the blog's are a way for a person to express an opinion. If a person is tired of reading blog's about some topic's then I say don't read them. I never read other's but like to write them. I have gotten some valuable insight from people here on the forum's. I have met some nice people but none has amounted to anything. For me it the forum's are way to get some insight from nice people. I like the blog's as a way of self expression. I also keep a personal journal as writing is a hobby of mine. I like matchdoctor for the blog's and mainly the forum's. I hope to attend a few of the get together's on here in the coming month's . This is the only dating sight I stay on but don't do it with the hope's of meething that special someone. It's just a fun sight.
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